It looks like I'll be saying Goodbye to all of my long hair soon
I had intended to sleep in this morning, but I've been up since about a quarter til 8. I'm so tired, and would love nothing more than to climb back into the warm, soft sheets of our bed, but I wouldn't be comfortable there so I'm just chilling out in my comfy chair. Besides, the kids are up and making enough noise that I'd never fall back to sleep anyway.
When Karen left for work this morning, she somehow didn't get the door out to the garage quite shut all the way. No big deal. The cats have probably explored the garage a few times by now, but there's nothing for them to get into. But with the cooler air outside, that cooler air from the garage came into the house and down the stairs into the basement.
I knew the garage door was open, even before I saw it, because on of my favorite smells was slightly lingering in the kitchen and down here in the basement. A mixture of Karen's sweet smelling perfume, and the slight hint of cigarette smoke,.. from when she went out into the garage to smoke her morning cigarette, are still lingering in the air.
I love that smell. Especially first thing in the morning when I'm waking up after Karen has already gotten up and gone to work. When Karen still worked nights, and her hair was still cut into a short hairstyle, I would come home and the smell of cigarette smoke and hairspray would still be lingering in the bathroom; where she had smoked a cigarette while getting ready and putting on her makeup.
That smell reminds me of when I was younger, and I would get aroused at the smell of cigarette smoke and hair spray when I would walk into a hair salon for a haircut. Times have changed, and you rarely find that smell lingering in the air when you walk into a hair salon these days (with the exception of maybe a small hair salon, like Crew 55, or one of the older barbershops in one of the older parts of town). All of the stylists who smoke have to go out the back door to have a cigarette, instead of taking their smoke break in the back office... or as I even remember, back in the 80's, some of the stylists would just sit at their hair station and take a smoke break while sitting in their barber's chair.
I can remember when I used to go to Heidi for my haircuts, at Hair World Salon, and I would pull up into the parking lot and look through the large front window to see if Heidi was busy with a client. Quite frequently, I would see her sitting in her salon chair, with a magazine sitting in her lap, while she sat there smoking a long white cigarette. I would sit and watch her finish smoking, and then rush in to make sure I was her next client.
Or, when I used to go get my hair cut at the Fantastic Sams in Bridgeton (usually stopping by in the evening after classes at UMSL), and I would pull into the parking lot and could see Rachel, Connie, or Jen standing in the back of the salon taking a smoke break in between customers....
I would walk into the salon, after watching them smoke, smell the sweet, intoxicating, mixture of cigarette smoke and hair spray (and maybe the slight hint of perm solution) in the air, and I would instantly feel hormones shooting through my system. On those occasions, I almost always left the salon with my hair cut much shorter than I had intended on having it cut when I had decided that I needed a haircut in the first place. I couldn't help myself. The sight and the smell of these women smoking was so powerfully intoxicating and arousing that all I could think of was having them shear me bald; and a couple of times, that's exactly what I had them do, even though getting sheared or shaved bald was maybe not really how I wanted to look at that moment in time. The fetish, and the smells associated with the fetish... especially when linked to a hair stylist in a hair salon, are just that powerful in my mind.
Well,....... I'm in that situation once again. Being sheared bald is not necessarily the look I'm wanting to sport at the moment. Especially since it has only been within the past month that my hair has finally grown to the length that have painstakingly worked to achieve for three long years now. Yes, it has taken three long years to finally achieve the length that I have wanted my hair to be at (have wanted back ever since I let Karen cut it all off back in 2003); and it would take three more long years to grow it back again... which is something I don't think I have the patience and will power to go through again should I cut it all off now. But the alluring smell of perfume mixed with smoke is in the air, and is causing my hormones to rage in lustful desire to be sheared by a smoking barberette,... but quite soon it will be for the very last time. At least, for the last time with Karen as the source of the fetish desire because she is planning to quit smoking. And that means it will be the last time to have Karen fulfill my fantasy as my smoking barberette.
Last night, I picked her purse up off of the floor, where the kids had knocked it over while playing. And, as I sat it up on the couch, I noticed that her Chantix prescription was tucked into the main section of the purse. I didn't open her purse to snoop, but I guess she has finally decided to start taking it sometime within the next couple of days. And since she's only supposed to continue to smoke for the first couple of weeks after starting to take it, that only gives me a short windo of time to make up my mind as to whether or not I'm going to let Karen cut all of my hair off and shave my head (even though she has told me that she doesn't think I'm attractive shaved bald) one last time before she quits smoking. One last time to share and act out my favorite fantasy with my Bubbie being the one weilding the scissors, clippers, and razor on my hair and my soon to be smooth, bald head.
I'm not surprised, or shocked, I knew this was coming. I've even been encouraging her to quit. Having my wife by my side, and healthy, is more important than the fact that I pop wood every time she lights up a cigarette. We chatted about it over IM at work just this past week, and have talked about it a couple of times over the past couple of months.
But, I was hoping that she would procrastinate just a little while longer (heck, she's had the prescription since September 10th), at least until after the holidays were over; so that I could have my hair through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the end of the year for New Year's Eve and New Year's day at the annual family get together.
Then of course, there's that whole fantasy that I've been concocting and hyping up in my mind for the past 2 1/2 years now, about having my head shaved bald as a cleansing ritual and mid-life turning point as a present for my 40th birthday..... ( I don't know why I set myself up for dissapointment. My 30th was nothing like I had imagined it would be, why would I think my 40th would be any different?)
Any way....
This is going to be a last big hurrah! A send off for my being able to share this fetish fantasy with my sweetie, and a new leaf in Karen's life to be healthier and happy. A special moment that we can share together, and maybe kindle a little bit of spark back into our love life. Not to mention that she'll finally be able to stop having to beg me to cut my hair every week or so because she doesn't like the long hair; and if she truly does not find me attractive with a bald head, I suppose it will just take me a few months to grow it out to the high-n-tight style that she seems to be so fond of.
So.... There are a few very important things that I want to have happen before she finishes her last pack of cigarettes (hopefully that last pack will be a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120's)
Karen needs to get around to coloring her hair. I'm hoping she will go a sexy shade of intense or dark RED.
I want to have our annual family portrait taken while I still have my long hair. Maybe we can make an appointment for SEARS Portrait this next Monday or Wednesday evening.
I want to shoot some photo and video sets of Karen wearing makeup and smoking while wearing each of her sexy outfits; so that I can indulge my fetish desires to watch her smoke a cigarette, without her actually having to light up in the future. I call it Bubbie Porn, and it gets me through the dry spells when Karen is not in the mood to be as frisky as I would like for her to be.
(we actually chatted about this briefly the other day at work over IM, and she said she would be willing indulge me this request. She actually asked me what I needed from her before she quit smoking. The fact that she thought of me trying to struggle with my fetish and how much I love to watch her smoke, and stopped to ask how she could help me better cope with this change in HER life so that I am better able to support her in quitting, actually brought me to tears. She has never before acknowledged that she cares about how the burden of any of my fetishes affects me. They have always been simply referred to in terms of how much of an inconvenience or source of frustration they are to her; never acknowledging that they may have a very real impact on my emotional or sexual well being. That acknowledgement and her willingness to help me by doing this for me felt like gettng a decade's worth of birthday and Christmas presents.)
So, it looks like I need to schedule a day off of work for a week from this upcoming Tuesday (maybe Monday, if I can get someone to do the weekly MIS at work for me that week), and all of my long hair will be hitting the floor before the razor shaves me smooth on November 16th.
I'm actually so turned on just thinking about it that I can almost hear the buzz of the clippers, and taste the smoke on her sexy lips, just in my mind's fantasy.
When Karen left for work this morning, she somehow didn't get the door out to the garage quite shut all the way. No big deal. The cats have probably explored the garage a few times by now, but there's nothing for them to get into. But with the cooler air outside, that cooler air from the garage came into the house and down the stairs into the basement.
I knew the garage door was open, even before I saw it, because on of my favorite smells was slightly lingering in the kitchen and down here in the basement. A mixture of Karen's sweet smelling perfume, and the slight hint of cigarette smoke,.. from when she went out into the garage to smoke her morning cigarette, are still lingering in the air.
I love that smell. Especially first thing in the morning when I'm waking up after Karen has already gotten up and gone to work. When Karen still worked nights, and her hair was still cut into a short hairstyle, I would come home and the smell of cigarette smoke and hairspray would still be lingering in the bathroom; where she had smoked a cigarette while getting ready and putting on her makeup.
That smell reminds me of when I was younger, and I would get aroused at the smell of cigarette smoke and hair spray when I would walk into a hair salon for a haircut. Times have changed, and you rarely find that smell lingering in the air when you walk into a hair salon these days (with the exception of maybe a small hair salon, like Crew 55, or one of the older barbershops in one of the older parts of town). All of the stylists who smoke have to go out the back door to have a cigarette, instead of taking their smoke break in the back office... or as I even remember, back in the 80's, some of the stylists would just sit at their hair station and take a smoke break while sitting in their barber's chair.
I can remember when I used to go to Heidi for my haircuts, at Hair World Salon, and I would pull up into the parking lot and look through the large front window to see if Heidi was busy with a client. Quite frequently, I would see her sitting in her salon chair, with a magazine sitting in her lap, while she sat there smoking a long white cigarette. I would sit and watch her finish smoking, and then rush in to make sure I was her next client.
Or, when I used to go get my hair cut at the Fantastic Sams in Bridgeton (usually stopping by in the evening after classes at UMSL), and I would pull into the parking lot and could see Rachel, Connie, or Jen standing in the back of the salon taking a smoke break in between customers....
I would walk into the salon, after watching them smoke, smell the sweet, intoxicating, mixture of cigarette smoke and hair spray (and maybe the slight hint of perm solution) in the air, and I would instantly feel hormones shooting through my system. On those occasions, I almost always left the salon with my hair cut much shorter than I had intended on having it cut when I had decided that I needed a haircut in the first place. I couldn't help myself. The sight and the smell of these women smoking was so powerfully intoxicating and arousing that all I could think of was having them shear me bald; and a couple of times, that's exactly what I had them do, even though getting sheared or shaved bald was maybe not really how I wanted to look at that moment in time. The fetish, and the smells associated with the fetish... especially when linked to a hair stylist in a hair salon, are just that powerful in my mind.
Well,....... I'm in that situation once again. Being sheared bald is not necessarily the look I'm wanting to sport at the moment. Especially since it has only been within the past month that my hair has finally grown to the length that have painstakingly worked to achieve for three long years now. Yes, it has taken three long years to finally achieve the length that I have wanted my hair to be at (have wanted back ever since I let Karen cut it all off back in 2003); and it would take three more long years to grow it back again... which is something I don't think I have the patience and will power to go through again should I cut it all off now. But the alluring smell of perfume mixed with smoke is in the air, and is causing my hormones to rage in lustful desire to be sheared by a smoking barberette,... but quite soon it will be for the very last time. At least, for the last time with Karen as the source of the fetish desire because she is planning to quit smoking. And that means it will be the last time to have Karen fulfill my fantasy as my smoking barberette.
Last night, I picked her purse up off of the floor, where the kids had knocked it over while playing. And, as I sat it up on the couch, I noticed that her Chantix prescription was tucked into the main section of the purse. I didn't open her purse to snoop, but I guess she has finally decided to start taking it sometime within the next couple of days. And since she's only supposed to continue to smoke for the first couple of weeks after starting to take it, that only gives me a short windo of time to make up my mind as to whether or not I'm going to let Karen cut all of my hair off and shave my head (even though she has told me that she doesn't think I'm attractive shaved bald) one last time before she quits smoking. One last time to share and act out my favorite fantasy with my Bubbie being the one weilding the scissors, clippers, and razor on my hair and my soon to be smooth, bald head.
I'm not surprised, or shocked, I knew this was coming. I've even been encouraging her to quit. Having my wife by my side, and healthy, is more important than the fact that I pop wood every time she lights up a cigarette. We chatted about it over IM at work just this past week, and have talked about it a couple of times over the past couple of months.
But, I was hoping that she would procrastinate just a little while longer (heck, she's had the prescription since September 10th), at least until after the holidays were over; so that I could have my hair through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the end of the year for New Year's Eve and New Year's day at the annual family get together.
Then of course, there's that whole fantasy that I've been concocting and hyping up in my mind for the past 2 1/2 years now, about having my head shaved bald as a cleansing ritual and mid-life turning point as a present for my 40th birthday..... ( I don't know why I set myself up for dissapointment. My 30th was nothing like I had imagined it would be, why would I think my 40th would be any different?)
Any way....
This is going to be a last big hurrah! A send off for my being able to share this fetish fantasy with my sweetie, and a new leaf in Karen's life to be healthier and happy. A special moment that we can share together, and maybe kindle a little bit of spark back into our love life. Not to mention that she'll finally be able to stop having to beg me to cut my hair every week or so because she doesn't like the long hair; and if she truly does not find me attractive with a bald head, I suppose it will just take me a few months to grow it out to the high-n-tight style that she seems to be so fond of.
So.... There are a few very important things that I want to have happen before she finishes her last pack of cigarettes (hopefully that last pack will be a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120's)
(we actually chatted about this briefly the other day at work over IM, and she said she would be willing indulge me this request. She actually asked me what I needed from her before she quit smoking. The fact that she thought of me trying to struggle with my fetish and how much I love to watch her smoke, and stopped to ask how she could help me better cope with this change in HER life so that I am better able to support her in quitting, actually brought me to tears. She has never before acknowledged that she cares about how the burden of any of my fetishes affects me. They have always been simply referred to in terms of how much of an inconvenience or source of frustration they are to her; never acknowledging that they may have a very real impact on my emotional or sexual well being. That acknowledgement and her willingness to help me by doing this for me felt like gettng a decade's worth of birthday and Christmas presents.)
So, it looks like I need to schedule a day off of work for a week from this upcoming Tuesday (maybe Monday, if I can get someone to do the weekly MIS at work for me that week), and all of my long hair will be hitting the floor before the razor shaves me smooth on November 16th.
I'm actually so turned on just thinking about it that I can almost hear the buzz of the clippers, and taste the smoke on her sexy lips, just in my mind's fantasy.