Title: Communication
Author:
digthewriterRating: PG-13
Character/s: Merlin, Arthur
Summary: Arthur is trying…
Warnings: Angst. Modern!AU.
Word Count: 1050
Prompt: "Sorrow" for
camelot_drabbleAuthor's Notes: Part 10 of "
A Secret Admirer?" story. Unbetaed.
"I'm not entirely sure how I should react to this…" Merlin said after they had been quiet for too long, and Arthur was feeling sorrow for treating Merlin in such a manner. He liked Merlin, there was no doubt about that, but the moment they'd been together, Arthur had started planning his future with Merlin.
This was not how things should have ended up being. He was supposed to take things slow. He was supposed to only tease Merlin… Play the flirting game. Get them both comfortable.
But the fact that he was cleaning up the remnants of his old relationship all the while planning a new one with Merlin was a clear indication Arthur shouldn't be in a relationship. This was what Gwen had mean. Probably.
"I don't regret what we did," Arthur said to Merlin who gave him a look he didn't believe Arthur. "I loved being with you. I'd want to do it again. But, I think… I confused myself. I'm not ready for something so meaningful."
"Hm," Merlin said, sounding thoughtful. "In that case, I should go."
"But…" Arthur said and immediately got up from his seat when Merlin reached the door. "Can I see you again?"
Merlin laughed, as if he were in disbelief, and then looked at Arthur embarrassed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to have that reaction, but…you're joking, right?"
"I want to see you. I mean, we can go to the cinema. A public place where I won't try to suck you off and be all confusing or whatever. I mean to say… Shit, I'm doing this all wrong. I'm asking you out on a date. Like, a real date. With just a film, and dinner, and then you go home and I go home. Maybe we talk on the phone or text. The type of date where I'm not a wanker."
"You don't have to make this more than it's-"
Arthur pulled Merlin towards him and kissed him. Thankfully, Merlin didn't push him away and kissed him back.
"I want to see you." Arthur didn't loosen his hold on Merlin. "My issues are just that. They're my issues, and they don't mean there's something wrong with you. I want to get to know you. I want you to know me, too. I want to know why you like me. Or did, because I'm quite sure I fucked all that up…" Arthur laughed, feeling embarrassed.
"Okay…" Merlin said, sounding as though he still wasn't convinced. "You want to be friends. That kiss?"
Arthur smiled at him and pulled him closer. He rubbed his nose against Merlin's cheek and felt the man shudder. "Friends that kiss who don't kiss anyone else."
"But you don't want to have sex?" asked Merlin.
Arthur sighed. "Of course, I want to have sex with you."
"Of course," Merlin said, sounding annoyed. "How I could I be mistaken?"
"I just…" Arthur sighed, running a hand through his hairs, and all the while Merlin watched his movements. "I just want to take it slow. I did this all wrong. I want you, but I don't want to fuck this up. I want to…"
"Be friends, that kiss, but don't kiss anyone else," Merlin said with a smile.
"I…" Arthur gave a short laugh. "I know what you're thinking."
"I doubt that," said Merlin.
"I'm not worth it."
"That was not what I was thinking."
"So, can I see you again? We can go see a new action film about a superhero, or something. I'm sure there's some superhero film that's in the cinema-"
"There is, actually," Merlin said with a smile.
"Brilliant. So next Friday? Seven o'clock."
"And you won't forget to show up?" Merlin asked, looking unconvinced.
"Give me your number," Arthur said, rushing to the coffee table and grabbing his mobile. "Put your number in and send me a text message. I will text you to remind you. Or you should text me, to confirm. But, I'll be there."
"Fine," Merlin said, taking Arthur's mobile and punching his number in. A second later, his own mobile buzzed and he reached into his pocket to check it. "It's there."
"Brilliant," Arthur said, and he pulled Merlin in for a quick kiss again. "I'll see you on Friday."
[[]]
When Merlin left, Arthur decided to pick up the box he'd been collecting Owen's things in and placed it next to the rubbish bin in the kitchen. The next day, when he'd take the garbage out, he'd put the box in his car. He planned on throwing the pictures out, of course, and donate all the other things to one of those charity shops. He was certain they could use the books, clothes, and picture frames he had to donate.
As he settled into bed that night, Arthur strolled through is missed calls and messages, and came upon Merlin's message. When Merlin had sent himself a text message from Arthur's phone, he'd written: Clotpole, and Arthur immediately snorted.
Unable to stop himself, Arthur sent another message to Merlin.
Arthur: HI
Merlin replied ten minutes later.
Merlin: Changed your mind already?
Arthur: Of course, not.
Merlin: Then what do you want?
You. Obviously.
Arthur: What were you thinking?
Merlin: Isn’t that a loaded question? When?
Arthur: When I said “I wasn’t worth it.” You said that’s not what you were thinking.
Merlin: Oh.
Arthur: So…
Merlin: I was thinking if I needed to get the oil changed in my car.
Arthur: Were you really?
Merlin: No.
Arthur: Are you going to tell me?
Merlin: No.
Arthur: Merlin… Please.
Merlin: I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you Friday.
Arthur smiled to himself. Merlin confirmed the plans for Friday. It was childish, he knew, because he was the one that’d asked Merlin out but it was somewhat comforting to know Merlin was confirming it.
Arthur: Can’t wait.
[[]]
Over the course of the week, Arthur sent text messages to Merlin almost every night. Merlin's replies, though consistent, were not always immediate. Arthur had to wonder if there was something about Merlin he didn't know. Something he didn't share with anyone.
Did he have a night shift? Did he play video games and Arthur was nothing but a distraction to him? He always seemed interested. Yet, distant.
And Arthur couldn't help but worry if it was him.
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