RPG Quotes: Blood & Pancakes XXX
After the Pancake Party chats a bit with Iris the dragon, she flies off to do... whatever it is teenaged dragons do. The PCs then go into the mayor's office to see what they can find on Special Snowflake's agenda before the party killed her.
Viridia: “What do ponies need riding crops for?”
Doc: “To encourage their partner to ‘ride faster’?”
Viridia: “Not that I'd fit in with the Enclave, anyway. There's only one authority I respect, and they don't have enough leather for it.”
Iris: “Oh hey, you don't got no wings.”
Doc: “That's because I'm an earth pony. Name's Doc.”
Iris: “Oh, you're a male pony. Huh, I sometimes forget you exist. You're cute too. You even come with accessories!”
Viridia: “Doc's on crack. Iris is about as ladylike as a bucket of fried chicken.”
GM: “Fried chicken, in addition, would be an excellent way to distract her.”
Stellar: “I imagine having your voice transmitted through a speaker also diffuses some of the effect of a charismatic pony.”
Doc: “I know I dock CHA points from the server when I try ordering drive-thru at McDonalds.”
GM: “There's absolutely no reason for any ground-dwelling creature to like the Enclave. Wearing Enclave Armor in most places gets you a nice shoot-on-sight target on your head, and there's a good reason for that! It's like walking around wearing pony-leather armor with a spiked collar and a mohawk slicked with pony fat and saying 'Oh hey ima friendly'.”
Viridia: “Viridia makes the universal gesture for ‘Imma come over there, yo, and let's talk 'bout dis, ya hear? Sound chill, bro?’ and waits for a response.”
Iris: “Hey, do you need that cage for anything?”
Moon: “It's supposed to be the town jail, but it failed to hold the only prisoner that has ever been put in it, so I don't see why we'd need it.”
GM: “Dragon advice is timeless, and often involves caves and burning villages.”
Doc: “Guess I can try lockpicking this one... heh, right. Way out of my league.”
Die Roll: *Crit Fail*
Doc: “Well I wasn't wrong.”
GM: “Having a magically sharp pretty blade of wonder and magic really helps when it comes to rooting through the personal belongings of secretaries. They never tell you that in middle school!”
Viridia: “Maybe not in your middle school.”
Moon: “Or the pony with the actual lockpick skill can give it a shot.”
Viridia: “I didn't get the memo that we were going to start doing things sensibly.”
Doc: “Well, that was a pretty interesting and detailed explanation of Red Maple Extract. Hopefully I didn't oversimplify.”
GM: “Nope! It's basically just a terrible poison.”
Doc: “It is, and if Live and Moon have no objections, I think Doc is going to take that stuff and hide it.”
Viridia: “I will take it!”
Doc: “Are you going to use it irresponsibly?”
Viridia: “Most likely.”
Doc: “Okay, you seem trustworthy.”
GM: “When has giving a hideously potent poison to an eighteen year old ever backfired on anyone?”
Viridia: “Hey now. By Wasteland standards, she's middle-aged.”
Viridia: “What do ponies need riding crops for?”
Doc: “To encourage their partner to ‘ride faster’?”
Viridia: “Not that I'd fit in with the Enclave, anyway. There's only one authority I respect, and they don't have enough leather for it.”
Iris: “Oh hey, you don't got no wings.”
Doc: “That's because I'm an earth pony. Name's Doc.”
Iris: “Oh, you're a male pony. Huh, I sometimes forget you exist. You're cute too. You even come with accessories!”
Viridia: “Doc's on crack. Iris is about as ladylike as a bucket of fried chicken.”
GM: “Fried chicken, in addition, would be an excellent way to distract her.”
Stellar: “I imagine having your voice transmitted through a speaker also diffuses some of the effect of a charismatic pony.”
Doc: “I know I dock CHA points from the server when I try ordering drive-thru at McDonalds.”
GM: “There's absolutely no reason for any ground-dwelling creature to like the Enclave. Wearing Enclave Armor in most places gets you a nice shoot-on-sight target on your head, and there's a good reason for that! It's like walking around wearing pony-leather armor with a spiked collar and a mohawk slicked with pony fat and saying 'Oh hey ima friendly'.”
Viridia: “Viridia makes the universal gesture for ‘Imma come over there, yo, and let's talk 'bout dis, ya hear? Sound chill, bro?’ and waits for a response.”
Iris: “Hey, do you need that cage for anything?”
Moon: “It's supposed to be the town jail, but it failed to hold the only prisoner that has ever been put in it, so I don't see why we'd need it.”
GM: “Dragon advice is timeless, and often involves caves and burning villages.”
Doc: “Guess I can try lockpicking this one... heh, right. Way out of my league.”
Die Roll: *Crit Fail*
Doc: “Well I wasn't wrong.”
GM: “Having a magically sharp pretty blade of wonder and magic really helps when it comes to rooting through the personal belongings of secretaries. They never tell you that in middle school!”
Viridia: “Maybe not in your middle school.”
Moon: “Or the pony with the actual lockpick skill can give it a shot.”
Viridia: “I didn't get the memo that we were going to start doing things sensibly.”
Doc: “Well, that was a pretty interesting and detailed explanation of Red Maple Extract. Hopefully I didn't oversimplify.”
GM: “Nope! It's basically just a terrible poison.”
Doc: “It is, and if Live and Moon have no objections, I think Doc is going to take that stuff and hide it.”
Viridia: “I will take it!”
Doc: “Are you going to use it irresponsibly?”
Viridia: “Most likely.”
Doc: “Okay, you seem trustworthy.”
GM: “When has giving a hideously potent poison to an eighteen year old ever backfired on anyone?”
Viridia: “Hey now. By Wasteland standards, she's middle-aged.”