Ultimate Dreams and Picspam
I am plagued by spam. I think this is LJ's way of saying BUY A REAL ACCOUNT. I keep seeing the inbox number going up and go, oooh, new review. PSYCH. Eff you, LJ. You're not getting my money just yet.
I've been thinking about dreams a lot lately. I don't mean dream dreams, the ones you have when you're sleeping or dozing, though I do think about those a lot, but goal dreams, the ones you have about your future, the ones they mean when people ask you what you want to be when you grow up. I've been reading One Piece lately and one of the guiding themes of the series is ultimate dreams. Luffy dreams about being the Pirate King, Zoro dreams about being the Greatest Swordsman in the world, Sanji dreams about finding the All-Blue, Chopper dreams about become a doctor capable of curing any illness, Robin dreams of finding the Rio Poneglyph and the True History of the world, Franky dreams of building the Thousand Sunny. Reading this, it's pretty hard to ignore that these people are driven by their dreams and, for all their adventures, are always striving towards their ultmate goals.
I...had to search pretty hard to find what could be considered my ultimate goal. I searched and searched but found no singular goal. So I thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a large animal veterinarian and eventually own a farm with bluegrass fields in Kentucky with my own horses. Up to high school, when I entered into a special medical program, I wanted this. Then my cat died and my terrible allergies went away. At the same time, I realized that it would be very difficult for a veterinarian to find work. I toyed with medicine and realized I despised doctors. So I settled on Nursing. This became my new, official dream. The only parts I wanted were the travel and the interaction with patients. I had many other things to think about in high school and schoolwork fell by the wayside. The dream that was never a real dream continued to be my official response to what I was going to college for. I even had two ROTC Nursing scholarships in my hands.
And then the diseases that had been ruining my life became even more disastrous. I was told as long as I was on medicine, I could never be in the military. I went to college unhappy and my health deteriorated. I became distracted by work, my only happiness being work and my language classes, and my worsening health. Almost nine months ago, I returned home incredibly sick, to work and to enter treatment.
I plan on returning to school in September and I've chosen a local historically black college that has a strong Nursing program. That was another one of my many dreams: going to a majority black college. I had a lot of dreams about college. I wanted to go the Naval Academy (obviously never going to happen). I wanted to go to Hawai'i where my mom went. I wanted to go to Puerto Rico. I wanted to go to Minnesota. I didn't want to end up where I did.
Now that I'm thinking about dreams again, I realize I had a million as a kid. I wanted to be a vet. I wanted to be a translator at the UN. I wanted to be a speliologist. I wanted to be an artist. I still have a dream about writing and illustrating my own book, à la James Gurney. I don't want to write a book so much as I want to create a masterpiece like Dinotopia, something that is my own, highly original world but also an absolutely gorgeous piece of work. I used to think when I was a kid about what penname I'd take up if I did write my own book and settled on Anne because two of my favorite authors had that name and a lot of good authors have the first name Anne. I wanted to write a journal in French and Spanish, and Persian (I have no idea why Persian- this interest has never come back up). I wanted desperately to be a Boy Scout. I wanted an Eagle Award. I wanted to go to Philmont. I wanted to be a flight attendant. I wanted to live in Arizona.
So what is my ultimate goal? I don't have one but I do have some. To write and illustrate that book someday. That's why I won't give up writing. One day, I'll find what I need to write that book and draw what needs to be drawn. It's a vague goal but one that I feel defines me. To be honestly multilingual, to speak German, French, Arabic, decent Spanish and Polish. The other languages will fall where they may. I'll probably take a serious study of Latin up at some time. To become a nurse and have a reason and a pocketbook that will let me travel. My dream dreams are filled with flights to Germany. Just one day, enough to be surrounded by the language and to take some food and books back with me. I need it, in a way I never thought I would. I'd like to go to India, too, since I've always been fascinated by that country. Russia, South Africa, Egypt, Sweden, Ireland, Ghana, China, Argentina, Australia, Poland, I'll get there eventually. The nursing will take me there if I have to fight for it. And that's it. For now.
Okay, screwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww my melodramatic interno-drama (the fuck did I just say?). Here's a picspam:
This is the game I like to call who is the most emo member of Panik?
I vote Timo because it rhymes, you understand. Emo Timo. I like it.
That's hot, David. Really.
Best pizza EVAAAAAA.
Moonicorn is not so magical-looking.
Oh, my God, this could be anywhere within a five mile radius of here. I had to look twice to make sure it wasn't. *yawn* My hometown's boring.
This is why I love Killerpilze. There are a million little clues into their interrelationships with each other. There's no way they don't make their own set ups and tell the photographer to take the picture when they want. Also, colors. Every fucking where.
I've been thinking about dreams a lot lately. I don't mean dream dreams, the ones you have when you're sleeping or dozing, though I do think about those a lot, but goal dreams, the ones you have about your future, the ones they mean when people ask you what you want to be when you grow up. I've been reading One Piece lately and one of the guiding themes of the series is ultimate dreams. Luffy dreams about being the Pirate King, Zoro dreams about being the Greatest Swordsman in the world, Sanji dreams about finding the All-Blue, Chopper dreams about become a doctor capable of curing any illness, Robin dreams of finding the Rio Poneglyph and the True History of the world, Franky dreams of building the Thousand Sunny. Reading this, it's pretty hard to ignore that these people are driven by their dreams and, for all their adventures, are always striving towards their ultmate goals.
I...had to search pretty hard to find what could be considered my ultimate goal. I searched and searched but found no singular goal. So I thought about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be a large animal veterinarian and eventually own a farm with bluegrass fields in Kentucky with my own horses. Up to high school, when I entered into a special medical program, I wanted this. Then my cat died and my terrible allergies went away. At the same time, I realized that it would be very difficult for a veterinarian to find work. I toyed with medicine and realized I despised doctors. So I settled on Nursing. This became my new, official dream. The only parts I wanted were the travel and the interaction with patients. I had many other things to think about in high school and schoolwork fell by the wayside. The dream that was never a real dream continued to be my official response to what I was going to college for. I even had two ROTC Nursing scholarships in my hands.
And then the diseases that had been ruining my life became even more disastrous. I was told as long as I was on medicine, I could never be in the military. I went to college unhappy and my health deteriorated. I became distracted by work, my only happiness being work and my language classes, and my worsening health. Almost nine months ago, I returned home incredibly sick, to work and to enter treatment.
I plan on returning to school in September and I've chosen a local historically black college that has a strong Nursing program. That was another one of my many dreams: going to a majority black college. I had a lot of dreams about college. I wanted to go the Naval Academy (obviously never going to happen). I wanted to go to Hawai'i where my mom went. I wanted to go to Puerto Rico. I wanted to go to Minnesota. I didn't want to end up where I did.
Now that I'm thinking about dreams again, I realize I had a million as a kid. I wanted to be a vet. I wanted to be a translator at the UN. I wanted to be a speliologist. I wanted to be an artist. I still have a dream about writing and illustrating my own book, à la James Gurney. I don't want to write a book so much as I want to create a masterpiece like Dinotopia, something that is my own, highly original world but also an absolutely gorgeous piece of work. I used to think when I was a kid about what penname I'd take up if I did write my own book and settled on Anne because two of my favorite authors had that name and a lot of good authors have the first name Anne. I wanted to write a journal in French and Spanish, and Persian (I have no idea why Persian- this interest has never come back up). I wanted desperately to be a Boy Scout. I wanted an Eagle Award. I wanted to go to Philmont. I wanted to be a flight attendant. I wanted to live in Arizona.
So what is my ultimate goal? I don't have one but I do have some. To write and illustrate that book someday. That's why I won't give up writing. One day, I'll find what I need to write that book and draw what needs to be drawn. It's a vague goal but one that I feel defines me. To be honestly multilingual, to speak German, French, Arabic, decent Spanish and Polish. The other languages will fall where they may. I'll probably take a serious study of Latin up at some time. To become a nurse and have a reason and a pocketbook that will let me travel. My dream dreams are filled with flights to Germany. Just one day, enough to be surrounded by the language and to take some food and books back with me. I need it, in a way I never thought I would. I'd like to go to India, too, since I've always been fascinated by that country. Russia, South Africa, Egypt, Sweden, Ireland, Ghana, China, Argentina, Australia, Poland, I'll get there eventually. The nursing will take me there if I have to fight for it. And that's it. For now.
Okay, screwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww my melodramatic interno-drama (the fuck did I just say?). Here's a picspam:
This is the game I like to call who is the most emo member of Panik?
I vote Timo because it rhymes, you understand. Emo Timo. I like it.
That's hot, David. Really.
Best pizza EVAAAAAA.
Moonicorn is not so magical-looking.
Oh, my God, this could be anywhere within a five mile radius of here. I had to look twice to make sure it wasn't. *yawn* My hometown's boring.
This is why I love Killerpilze. There are a million little clues into their interrelationships with each other. There's no way they don't make their own set ups and tell the photographer to take the picture when they want. Also, colors. Every fucking where.