Words Unspoken (Rating PG-13, Sam & Dean)
Title: Words Unspoken
Author: Digitalwave
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Sam & Dean
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 500 words
Spoilers: Gen series spoilers for all aired episodes
Summary: It wasn't easy. In fact, it hurt like hell. But it had to be done, and soon...
Disclaimer: The characters in this story remain the property of themselves and their related production companies. None of the pretties belong to me, I'm only borrowing them.
The hum of the tires against the road soothed him. It was the mother's touch he'd never had as he grew up riding in this car. The Impala, Dean, they'd always been the constants in his life, the things he never had to question.
Sam glanced over at Dean as he drove, eyes fixed on the road. Silent, still, in ways that were foreign to his brother before. No music blared from the ancient radio, his fingers gripped tightly to the steering wheel instead of drumming out the melodies that played through his head. Sam's heart ached looking at Dean, wondering again how you could keep mourning a person who sat right beside you in the god damned car.
Dean thought he just wanted out. That he chased after normal like it was the Holy Grail. Normal! Hell, as if he really had any idea what that meant. Dean believed his last year was sunshine, organic apples and puppies. It was easier that way. Easier then admitting the crushing fear, the darkness Sam fought against almost every day of their time apart. Missing Bobby had hurt, sure, but missing Dean was a knife wound of pain through his heart that wouldn't heal.
He'd tried hunting, at first, until one too many panic attacks in the middle of a case finally convinced him he had to stop. But stopping was a nightmare in and of itself until he'd hit Riot. Until he'd had something outside of himself depending on him again. He'd still missed Dean, so damned much, but taking care of Riot had helped. Having Amelia's friendship, her love, had been an unexpected bonus, a balm for the pain that drowned him.
He'd known it couldn't last, that being near him was poison. Everyone he cared about died if he stayed around too long. He wouldn't, couldn't, be the cause of that. It was why he'd left them, Amelia and Riot, like a thief in the night. Being alone was better. Maybe not for him but for everyone else.
He'd gone to the cabin to use it as a place to think. Sam was tired. He just wanted to stop, for things to be over. Finding Dean there had been a miracle, a gift he never expected. But it also scared the hell out of Sam. He had to get away. He needed to run so far and so fast that the horror that dogged his steps couldn't ever find Dean again. Because he knew it would if he stayed.
It was better to piss Dean off, to give him a reason to hate Sam. Losing his brother would rip his heart to shreds. Again. But, Sam could deal with that. Hell, he could deal with anything as long as he knew Dean was out there, somewhere. Alone was hard, alone was the darkness that stole Sam's breath. Yet, if he knew it'd keep Dean safe, he'd clutch it to him like a lover. He'd disappear, forever, in her arms.
fin
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Author: Digitalwave
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters: Sam & Dean
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 500 words
Spoilers: Gen series spoilers for all aired episodes
Summary: It wasn't easy. In fact, it hurt like hell. But it had to be done, and soon...
Disclaimer: The characters in this story remain the property of themselves and their related production companies. None of the pretties belong to me, I'm only borrowing them.
The hum of the tires against the road soothed him. It was the mother's touch he'd never had as he grew up riding in this car. The Impala, Dean, they'd always been the constants in his life, the things he never had to question.
Sam glanced over at Dean as he drove, eyes fixed on the road. Silent, still, in ways that were foreign to his brother before. No music blared from the ancient radio, his fingers gripped tightly to the steering wheel instead of drumming out the melodies that played through his head. Sam's heart ached looking at Dean, wondering again how you could keep mourning a person who sat right beside you in the god damned car.
Dean thought he just wanted out. That he chased after normal like it was the Holy Grail. Normal! Hell, as if he really had any idea what that meant. Dean believed his last year was sunshine, organic apples and puppies. It was easier that way. Easier then admitting the crushing fear, the darkness Sam fought against almost every day of their time apart. Missing Bobby had hurt, sure, but missing Dean was a knife wound of pain through his heart that wouldn't heal.
He'd tried hunting, at first, until one too many panic attacks in the middle of a case finally convinced him he had to stop. But stopping was a nightmare in and of itself until he'd hit Riot. Until he'd had something outside of himself depending on him again. He'd still missed Dean, so damned much, but taking care of Riot had helped. Having Amelia's friendship, her love, had been an unexpected bonus, a balm for the pain that drowned him.
He'd known it couldn't last, that being near him was poison. Everyone he cared about died if he stayed around too long. He wouldn't, couldn't, be the cause of that. It was why he'd left them, Amelia and Riot, like a thief in the night. Being alone was better. Maybe not for him but for everyone else.
He'd gone to the cabin to use it as a place to think. Sam was tired. He just wanted to stop, for things to be over. Finding Dean there had been a miracle, a gift he never expected. But it also scared the hell out of Sam. He had to get away. He needed to run so far and so fast that the horror that dogged his steps couldn't ever find Dean again. Because he knew it would if he stayed.
It was better to piss Dean off, to give him a reason to hate Sam. Losing his brother would rip his heart to shreds. Again. But, Sam could deal with that. Hell, he could deal with anything as long as he knew Dean was out there, somewhere. Alone was hard, alone was the darkness that stole Sam's breath. Yet, if he knew it'd keep Dean safe, he'd clutch it to him like a lover. He'd disappear, forever, in her arms.
fin
You can also read this entry on Dreamwidth (
comments)