I took a break...
Everyone, and I do mean everyone, even mom, have been telling me lately how tired I look. So, I did something today that I haven't done in a while. After I dropped mom off at daycare I didn't come back home and start the laundry, though I need to, or take pictures or get stuff up for sale or anything else constructive that I need to be doing. Instead I took my copy of Brotherhood 8, an SPN zine I got last year at Mediawest Con, and went over to Subway for lunch.
I got my six inch turkey sandwich, my chips and my cookie and found myself a quiet corner and read for an hour. I finished a wonderful Dodger Winslow story called, 'the Family Business.' It was amazing and I really enjoyed the heck out of it. I know I need to do this more, I know I can't help everyone else if I don't take care of me. It's just easier to forget to most of the time. There's always a thousand things I need to be doing and what I want is usually the thing that's easiest for me to do without.
That's partly why there's been precious little fic written from me lately and no new artwork since last June. But, if I'm being honest with myself, I know that a huge part of it is my being gun shy now. Ever since that stupid hate meme thing I've kind of frozen up whenever I've even thought about doing anything new artwise. I was just over here in my little corner doing my thing. It literally took my breath away to think that something I'd done had so offended someone that they had to write about it in a hate meme, and mention me by name no less. I'd like to say I just considered the source, the pettiness and the cowardice behind it, and moved on. But so far I haven't. It's something I need to come to terms with, intellectually I know that. I miss being creative, I miss sharing what I've made with all of you.
So, today was a first step. I have to start protecting a little time for me or I won't be able to take care of the rest of my family like I want to. I want to be more present here, too. I know I've mostly been a piss-poor friend lately and I want to do better there, too. You guys are always there for me. I want to be able to return the favor like I used to before everything kind of went to heck. I promise to do my darndest to try anyway.
*hugs you all hard*
PS, in case you missed it, I got last night's eppy up late last night. It's in the entry just before this one. :)
I got my six inch turkey sandwich, my chips and my cookie and found myself a quiet corner and read for an hour. I finished a wonderful Dodger Winslow story called, 'the Family Business.' It was amazing and I really enjoyed the heck out of it. I know I need to do this more, I know I can't help everyone else if I don't take care of me. It's just easier to forget to most of the time. There's always a thousand things I need to be doing and what I want is usually the thing that's easiest for me to do without.
That's partly why there's been precious little fic written from me lately and no new artwork since last June. But, if I'm being honest with myself, I know that a huge part of it is my being gun shy now. Ever since that stupid hate meme thing I've kind of frozen up whenever I've even thought about doing anything new artwise. I was just over here in my little corner doing my thing. It literally took my breath away to think that something I'd done had so offended someone that they had to write about it in a hate meme, and mention me by name no less. I'd like to say I just considered the source, the pettiness and the cowardice behind it, and moved on. But so far I haven't. It's something I need to come to terms with, intellectually I know that. I miss being creative, I miss sharing what I've made with all of you.
So, today was a first step. I have to start protecting a little time for me or I won't be able to take care of the rest of my family like I want to. I want to be more present here, too. I know I've mostly been a piss-poor friend lately and I want to do better there, too. You guys are always there for me. I want to be able to return the favor like I used to before everything kind of went to heck. I promise to do my darndest to try anyway.
*hugs you all hard*
PS, in case you missed it, I got last night's eppy up late last night. It's in the entry just before this one. :)