My life is like a rollercoaster baby baby I wanna ride!
Uggh so what a weekend. Friday I was a wreck. I tried my best to keep it together, but i couldn't help but check my e-mail every 2 seconds to see if i heard back about LA yet. They were only going to e-mail me if i got the internship, so there was some stress from that.
I went off to Aqua Matrix around 10:30 in the morning... buti had been up since 7... went to the gym... showered... and still no word. Brendan and I sat in the real world house for my entire time there... just talking which was really nice. He really surprised me with being a whole lot more than some dumb jock. I have a lot of respect for the guy. I told him some stuff that i really don't tell a lot of people and it was nice to trust someone again in that way. He asked me why I am the way I am... like so unique dispite my up-bringing. It really got me thinking... i mean my parents got along... i got whisked right into the lifestyle... i just didnt accept it. I couldn't think of a single reason though. He thought it may be a result of drugs which is kinda funny... but we were talking about our growings-up and we did it in very similar situations... small private schools and stuff. He was really sweet about finding out abotu this internship and he started asking me for my input on what he should do after graduation. Its been a while since I had a great conversation with someone new like that. This doesn't mean i have a crush on brendan or anything... though he is a cutie pie... but i definitly enjoyed talking with him. He's a good guy.
Kristin came and met me @ the real world house and we shopped around back to my house. We got Andrew a birthday present and Shopped around south street, chestnut street, etc. It was good times. Neil picked her up and it became pretty clear that she wouldn't be attending andrews party. After checking my e-mail and not seeing a letter yet... i didn't feel like going either. I pretty much fought back tears to be there for her cuz neil was being an ass... then dan brought steve over and i pretended to be absorbed by a basketball game that i was barely watching. Tears kept popping out, but i hid them in the blanket until they left. As soon as the door slammed, i was under the covers and i just started sobbing. I couldn't control myself. I drank 1/2 a bottle of vodka and a 40 in between sheer hysterics. It was a melt down of churnobleistic proportions. It was bad. I couldn't get it together. I just kept sobbing. AFter about 4 hours of this, i called my dad cuz i didn't know what else to do. I threw up i was sobbing so hard. I hadn't cried like that since the loverly teenage-angst years. He wasn't real helpful... but i appreciated his effort and havnign someone on the phone. Jeanie also called me towards the end of my melt-down and it was established that she, anthony and I would go to the beach to calm down. My eyes were swollen HUGE. I could barely open my eyes cuz they were pretty much swollen shut, but I met up wtih them and drove on down.
As soon as I saw them i felt better. They really are AMAZING people with these spirits that project an aura that can be felt for miles! They even picked up a case of rock green light just for me... cuz they know its my favorite. It was too cute. When we arrived, we had a few beers and talked, then went to bed. I really dug how they didn't interrogate me about my feelings. I just needed diversion and salt air and good friends were just the ticket. I also gotta give them props for minimal 3rd wheel disorder. I always feel like im just with 2 friends that sleep in the same bed at night.
We woke up saturday, watched the blue crush on TV, then went out to breakfest/lunch. Next we cruised down to the casinos and Anthony met up with his boys and Jeanie and I went to "window shop" in the shopping district by the train station. Phew what a pickel. I had never hit up these stores before and upon entering banana i realised they were OUTLETS!!! *deep breath* I don't even have words for what happened next but i got banana jeans for $20, a sweater for $14, a birthday present for my dad, Gap Blue perfume which is impossible to find anymore, but i shall be stinking of it for quite a while. I got 2 ounces of the stuff for $12!!! I got a shirt for the muse concert from H&M and the shoes... though i didn't find a pair... the options were to-die-for!!! We shopped the shit out of American Eagle, Claires, Pac Sun, Tommy, H&M, gap, starbucks, subway, kennith kole, nautica, aeropostale... wow it was amazing. We got through in about 5 hours too which wasnt bad considering the size of the task. Jeanie got this yellow halter top which was absolultly great... and some rings and gap om... another discontinued fraigrence that smells great.
We hobbled back to the car, weakened by the shopping that showed its face to us. We went home, ordered chinese take out, and ate it watching the emperrors new groove. After that, we picked up anthony who was done with his friends, then we went and watched tommy boy while drinking more beers. We were all pretty worn out from intense days though. I started to really think about what not getting into this LA-program meant. It depressed me more and more, but it was something i had to consider.
We drove back home and I checked my e-mail around 11:59:33pm on friday night. I had recieved an e-mail telling me that i was accepted to the program. It was intense. I was so happy to hear that, but in the saem breath... it was exhausting. I had skipped andrews 21st birthday party... i had done some intense retail therapy... and dragged my friends to the beach... which they didn't seem to mind, but i felt bad.
but yeah... im in... and im going... and im psyched... and im thankful to everyone who put up with me. I would like to extend a special thankyou to Ashley Shuey who is in LA right now, living where i will be living, working an internship, coaching me through what i will need to get my ass out there. It should be something i will never ever ever forget. Nows my chance to be any lauren i want to be. Its time to make new friends. Its time to show my parents that im not some loser where everything i touch discintigrates (ie Y100), time to get tan on venice beach and work some place i will love. Its time to make my claims in an area that i could see myself in later. I will get to spend a massive quantity of time with CSPGDan... and that will be great too. Its time to show this city where Philadelphia is... and i couldn't be happier.
happy easter. parents are on the road home from florida so i will be laying low... but cheers!
till next sign-
I went off to Aqua Matrix around 10:30 in the morning... buti had been up since 7... went to the gym... showered... and still no word. Brendan and I sat in the real world house for my entire time there... just talking which was really nice. He really surprised me with being a whole lot more than some dumb jock. I have a lot of respect for the guy. I told him some stuff that i really don't tell a lot of people and it was nice to trust someone again in that way. He asked me why I am the way I am... like so unique dispite my up-bringing. It really got me thinking... i mean my parents got along... i got whisked right into the lifestyle... i just didnt accept it. I couldn't think of a single reason though. He thought it may be a result of drugs which is kinda funny... but we were talking about our growings-up and we did it in very similar situations... small private schools and stuff. He was really sweet about finding out abotu this internship and he started asking me for my input on what he should do after graduation. Its been a while since I had a great conversation with someone new like that. This doesn't mean i have a crush on brendan or anything... though he is a cutie pie... but i definitly enjoyed talking with him. He's a good guy.
Kristin came and met me @ the real world house and we shopped around back to my house. We got Andrew a birthday present and Shopped around south street, chestnut street, etc. It was good times. Neil picked her up and it became pretty clear that she wouldn't be attending andrews party. After checking my e-mail and not seeing a letter yet... i didn't feel like going either. I pretty much fought back tears to be there for her cuz neil was being an ass... then dan brought steve over and i pretended to be absorbed by a basketball game that i was barely watching. Tears kept popping out, but i hid them in the blanket until they left. As soon as the door slammed, i was under the covers and i just started sobbing. I couldn't control myself. I drank 1/2 a bottle of vodka and a 40 in between sheer hysterics. It was a melt down of churnobleistic proportions. It was bad. I couldn't get it together. I just kept sobbing. AFter about 4 hours of this, i called my dad cuz i didn't know what else to do. I threw up i was sobbing so hard. I hadn't cried like that since the loverly teenage-angst years. He wasn't real helpful... but i appreciated his effort and havnign someone on the phone. Jeanie also called me towards the end of my melt-down and it was established that she, anthony and I would go to the beach to calm down. My eyes were swollen HUGE. I could barely open my eyes cuz they were pretty much swollen shut, but I met up wtih them and drove on down.
As soon as I saw them i felt better. They really are AMAZING people with these spirits that project an aura that can be felt for miles! They even picked up a case of rock green light just for me... cuz they know its my favorite. It was too cute. When we arrived, we had a few beers and talked, then went to bed. I really dug how they didn't interrogate me about my feelings. I just needed diversion and salt air and good friends were just the ticket. I also gotta give them props for minimal 3rd wheel disorder. I always feel like im just with 2 friends that sleep in the same bed at night.
We woke up saturday, watched the blue crush on TV, then went out to breakfest/lunch. Next we cruised down to the casinos and Anthony met up with his boys and Jeanie and I went to "window shop" in the shopping district by the train station. Phew what a pickel. I had never hit up these stores before and upon entering banana i realised they were OUTLETS!!! *deep breath* I don't even have words for what happened next but i got banana jeans for $20, a sweater for $14, a birthday present for my dad, Gap Blue perfume which is impossible to find anymore, but i shall be stinking of it for quite a while. I got 2 ounces of the stuff for $12!!! I got a shirt for the muse concert from H&M and the shoes... though i didn't find a pair... the options were to-die-for!!! We shopped the shit out of American Eagle, Claires, Pac Sun, Tommy, H&M, gap, starbucks, subway, kennith kole, nautica, aeropostale... wow it was amazing. We got through in about 5 hours too which wasnt bad considering the size of the task. Jeanie got this yellow halter top which was absolultly great... and some rings and gap om... another discontinued fraigrence that smells great.
We hobbled back to the car, weakened by the shopping that showed its face to us. We went home, ordered chinese take out, and ate it watching the emperrors new groove. After that, we picked up anthony who was done with his friends, then we went and watched tommy boy while drinking more beers. We were all pretty worn out from intense days though. I started to really think about what not getting into this LA-program meant. It depressed me more and more, but it was something i had to consider.
We drove back home and I checked my e-mail around 11:59:33pm on friday night. I had recieved an e-mail telling me that i was accepted to the program. It was intense. I was so happy to hear that, but in the saem breath... it was exhausting. I had skipped andrews 21st birthday party... i had done some intense retail therapy... and dragged my friends to the beach... which they didn't seem to mind, but i felt bad.
but yeah... im in... and im going... and im psyched... and im thankful to everyone who put up with me. I would like to extend a special thankyou to Ashley Shuey who is in LA right now, living where i will be living, working an internship, coaching me through what i will need to get my ass out there. It should be something i will never ever ever forget. Nows my chance to be any lauren i want to be. Its time to make new friends. Its time to show my parents that im not some loser where everything i touch discintigrates (ie Y100), time to get tan on venice beach and work some place i will love. Its time to make my claims in an area that i could see myself in later. I will get to spend a massive quantity of time with CSPGDan... and that will be great too. Its time to show this city where Philadelphia is... and i couldn't be happier.
happy easter. parents are on the road home from florida so i will be laying low... but cheers!
till next sign-