Unclaimed
New Years Eve I lit a gold candle and charged it with my hopes and wishes and determination from this year. It was filled with my expectations for myself, my desires for my education, financial and selfishly (though without guilt) for my personal life. I also asked that friends and family have a prosperous year as well. So I do hope that all of you receive positivity in gracious amounts and that your endeavors are successful.
My Period has cycled out to the full moon once again-- as it started lastnight/today. =[ Craptacular but I'm blessed with the ability to produce and eventually have a family, though I'd like to adopt as well.
Speaking of babies...
My 'GET MARRIED MAKE BABIES' hormones have officially kicked in much to my displeasure. Why am I displeased? Well to be frank, I'm in the middle of school, trying to finish up an Associates in Arts so I can continue onto UNC's School of Journalism with a minor in World Affairs. However I'm also going to be taking some business administration classes as well-- couldn't hurt might help. Though I would love to start a family and have all the beautiful (but no less stressful and not always so glamorous or easy) experience of being a wife and mother, I'm just not prepared for such responsibilities. I'd like to have my degree first before I marry...though its not necessarily a 'concrete' requirement for myself but it is to have children. I would feel much more secure in being financially stable with a healthy relationship with my partner when having children rather than not, ya know? Things happen, events come up that aren't planned and can cost a lot of $$$ and when you have little of it, it can make life unnecessarily hard...sometimes defeating and that just isn't how I want things to go.
I start the Spring Semester on Wednesday with 5 classes (16 credit hours). I'm extremely excited but its a full schedule and I've also decided that should I be offered a good paying job with experience opportunities I will cut down to part time student or drop the semester completely only to pick it up online in the summer. I'm really tired of my parents help and support simply because I feel guilty. Though they offer it generously and without hesitation (though my dad can be a real prick about it sometimes), I'd really like to support myself again... You know once you've been there and done it, and you've had to go back to Mom and Dad it just makes you feel...well...crappy!
Yoga is great and it helps my back and hip issues a lot. I went back on my meds in October and I need to get them checked to be upped but I feel pretty good and level most of the time. There are times I get discouraged about being on medication. It makes me feel like I'm too weak a person to control myself or be 'normal'. But its a necessary evil that helps. It really helps.
Love.
My Period has cycled out to the full moon once again-- as it started lastnight/today. =[ Craptacular but I'm blessed with the ability to produce and eventually have a family, though I'd like to adopt as well.
Speaking of babies...
My 'GET MARRIED MAKE BABIES' hormones have officially kicked in much to my displeasure. Why am I displeased? Well to be frank, I'm in the middle of school, trying to finish up an Associates in Arts so I can continue onto UNC's School of Journalism with a minor in World Affairs. However I'm also going to be taking some business administration classes as well-- couldn't hurt might help. Though I would love to start a family and have all the beautiful (but no less stressful and not always so glamorous or easy) experience of being a wife and mother, I'm just not prepared for such responsibilities. I'd like to have my degree first before I marry...though its not necessarily a 'concrete' requirement for myself but it is to have children. I would feel much more secure in being financially stable with a healthy relationship with my partner when having children rather than not, ya know? Things happen, events come up that aren't planned and can cost a lot of $$$ and when you have little of it, it can make life unnecessarily hard...sometimes defeating and that just isn't how I want things to go.
I start the Spring Semester on Wednesday with 5 classes (16 credit hours). I'm extremely excited but its a full schedule and I've also decided that should I be offered a good paying job with experience opportunities I will cut down to part time student or drop the semester completely only to pick it up online in the summer. I'm really tired of my parents help and support simply because I feel guilty. Though they offer it generously and without hesitation (though my dad can be a real prick about it sometimes), I'd really like to support myself again... You know once you've been there and done it, and you've had to go back to Mom and Dad it just makes you feel...well...crappy!
Yoga is great and it helps my back and hip issues a lot. I went back on my meds in October and I need to get them checked to be upped but I feel pretty good and level most of the time. There are times I get discouraged about being on medication. It makes me feel like I'm too weak a person to control myself or be 'normal'. But its a necessary evil that helps. It really helps.
Love.