(no subject)
sometimes i wonder how i could have fucked up so badly that i could make my life this way. i know that most of the reason i am so unhappy is because i did this to myself. i was bored with my life after my freshman year in college and i made a lot of stupid decisions that i shouldn't have. i was looking for something more, and in turn i only ended up making things worse and missing out on so much more. there are a few people who i really really miss. and i know how i acted was unforgivable and unexplanable. i am a very impulsive person, and i tend to act on things before i think them through. it's an extremely bad habit. it either gets me in trouble with friends, with my family, or with money. i wish i could turn back time and do things differently. right now i have barely any friends and no boyfriend. no best friend. no one to turn to. i am very lonely. i never would have expected this to happen to me but i guess you could say i had it coming. i always had a ton of friends and i took it for granted. now i'm left with next to nothing and it really really hurts. now, i won't say that it is all my fault, because it takes two people to tango, but, i did have a significant part in my downfall. i feel really stupid and i wish i could apologize but i don't have the balls and i am extremely ashamed.
hopefully you know who you are.
call me.
hopefully you know who you are.
call me.