Confused

[digitall]

I wish I knew exactly what was going on. Maybe if someone reads this they can have a suggestion for me? Everyone who has read this recently knows about Mel and I breaking up and for some reason I'm taking it extremely hard. This isn't my first break-up by any means, and it isn't even my first where the other person has a new boyfriend within a week

Comments

it's cool

[atangerine]

Hey man you really do sound a lot like I did when I was going through all that shit. you are at a low point but you've got to understand that the worst thing you can do is go around in circles thinking about the bad things that hurt you. You need to relax and just let all the badness flow in and out. It's a natural process to feel the pain but unnatural to keep stirring in it. The pain will leave you eventually if you let it. As far as snapping don't worry about that either, you are just confused right now. Your friends are changing and may feel like they don't have the time to bother. See i believe that true friends are hard to find. I've got like one right now. You know the kind of person that cares and you can always feel comfortable around. We spend so much time when we're young on superficial relationships for the sole purpose of acceptance. But where does that leave us in the end? Feeling empty, especially when everyone in your life suddenly isn't there when you need them and you have to rely on some stranger who's been deemed crazy by those same people. Look you need to relax, do what you need to be able to get there. Once you have, just let your mind think what it needs to. You may feel overwhelmed but it won't kill you. You know what to do it's just that pain is blurring all sensibility. Relationships shouldn't be this hard. In order to avoid attachment you need to find things within yourself to brighten your day. Make a list of all the things you love to do, things that by themselves make you smile. Try to do as many of those that your schedule allows everyday. If you do this with a positive mental attitude it will be impossible not to pull out of this. it's all just chemicals reacting in the brain anyway. Some universal happy tricks are cleaning, reading, and exercising. If you do all those everyday I wouldn't be surprised if Mel came running back to you (not that it matters). Now... if you want me to be honest about Christian church... I don't think you should keep going. In Ohio especially I feel church is tainted and no longer brings the spiritual satisfaction it once used to. We are in a changing world that no longer has the ability to hold on to the doggmatic views that have for a time worked for the masses. Young people no longer have the ability to except extreme absolutes in this ever-learning era we are in. The more time goes on the more ignorant it all will seem to us. A screaming, guilt-driven, pain-seeking manipulative pastor wearing italian suits doesn't convince us anymore. The people at church today are all plastic, not being themselves. Usually christians try to portray a better-than-thou image and become condescending around non-christians. Most churches today are just in competition to get the most attendance! Organized religion is becoming tainted and outdated. I would be contradicting my beliefs just by attending. Spiritual fulfillment can be found on your own. Now I know that this can be troubling, especially to those living in the bible belt, but it is how I feel. Hopefully you will get something positive from all this. Good luck.

Re: it's cool

[digitall]

Thanks for all of that. I sort of feel the same way to some degree about church but a new one I've been to isn't like that at all. It may just take me some time to get used to the new one but it could be a much deeper issue or issues as well. At least this one isn't quite the same as old(er) guy standing on a stage and telling us we need to repent, etc. I agree that a lot of church now is mostly politics anyways which really kind of sucks.

I know the worst thing I can do is the circles thing but it isn't intentional - and if I knew how I'd stop it. But it just hits me when I least expect it and then just starts coming in waves and I can't stop it at that point. I'd rather it just not be there at all and me having some way to just avoid it than it hitting me in waves like that. And it's literally a physical response. My chest tightens up it just feels like I'm literally going to burst inside.

Thanks for the reply.