My silhouette will make you light a cigarette...
"Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say"
Kelly Clarkson, "Since You Been Gone"
----------------------------------------------------
Justin and I are taking a break for awhile. That's fine. If that's what he wants. He says that he is the reason I fight with my parents. He has no idea that he helps me escape from them and that I need him to help me escape from them.
*shrugs* I'll be strong. I know he and I won't be apart forever. He loves me. I don't know if he loves me as much as I love him, but I know he loves me. I've cried too much already. He's the first boy I've ever loved. The first boy who ever made me cry. And I'm not going to cry over him anymore. He doesn't need the drama my family causes..and I love him far too much to put him through any kind of unneccessary stress.
My mother can obviously not take the hint. I don't want anymore to do with her anymore. She causes me nothing but trouble. She can hold whatever she wants over my head..but I've decided to slide over..that way it's not over my head anymore. Screw it. I'm a bigger person than she and my dad put together. If they want to make up bullshit about me and bicker back and forth that's fine..but leave me out of it.
My sister came home from my mother's house today. I had taken the PS2 into my room so I could watch "Napoleon Dynamite", "Howard & Kumar Go to White Castle", and "Anchorman". She got all pissy about it and told me I shouldn't have taken it without asking. I told her she wasn't home and to get out of my room. She started pushing me and then she kicked and punched me. She continued to do so until my dad came up and she ran off to her room to cry because I had "hurt her".
My God. That child is fuckin spoiled rotten. And it really pissed me off when my father didn't discipline her. When I was 11, if I had acted like that..my ass would have been beaten half to death. And that's bullshit that she didn't even get a good yelling. Fuck her. I'm tired of her bullshit too.
I can't wait until she turns 17..my parents think they fuckin' have it bad now. Just wait...they won't be able to control her! Hahaha. And I'm going to laugh every step of the way. She has no rules, no barries now..imaginine when she gets 17. She'll run the goddamn show! "Can I go here?" Of course, baby. Anything you want. And if they won't let her, I know for a fact she'll whine and pout until she gets her way..and if she still doesn't.. she'll probably flip them the bird and run off.
I should have done that.
I was taught better though.
Unlike her.
She makes me sick.
I want to hate her but it's no way to go about things. I'll just feel sorry for her instead.
Stupid life.
You can't keep me down.
Everytime you try to knock me--I'm gonna get back up.
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say"
Kelly Clarkson, "Since You Been Gone"
----------------------------------------------------
Justin and I are taking a break for awhile. That's fine. If that's what he wants. He says that he is the reason I fight with my parents. He has no idea that he helps me escape from them and that I need him to help me escape from them.
*shrugs* I'll be strong. I know he and I won't be apart forever. He loves me. I don't know if he loves me as much as I love him, but I know he loves me. I've cried too much already. He's the first boy I've ever loved. The first boy who ever made me cry. And I'm not going to cry over him anymore. He doesn't need the drama my family causes..and I love him far too much to put him through any kind of unneccessary stress.
My mother can obviously not take the hint. I don't want anymore to do with her anymore. She causes me nothing but trouble. She can hold whatever she wants over my head..but I've decided to slide over..that way it's not over my head anymore. Screw it. I'm a bigger person than she and my dad put together. If they want to make up bullshit about me and bicker back and forth that's fine..but leave me out of it.
My sister came home from my mother's house today. I had taken the PS2 into my room so I could watch "Napoleon Dynamite", "Howard & Kumar Go to White Castle", and "Anchorman". She got all pissy about it and told me I shouldn't have taken it without asking. I told her she wasn't home and to get out of my room. She started pushing me and then she kicked and punched me. She continued to do so until my dad came up and she ran off to her room to cry because I had "hurt her".
My God. That child is fuckin spoiled rotten. And it really pissed me off when my father didn't discipline her. When I was 11, if I had acted like that..my ass would have been beaten half to death. And that's bullshit that she didn't even get a good yelling. Fuck her. I'm tired of her bullshit too.
I can't wait until she turns 17..my parents think they fuckin' have it bad now. Just wait...they won't be able to control her! Hahaha. And I'm going to laugh every step of the way. She has no rules, no barries now..imaginine when she gets 17. She'll run the goddamn show! "Can I go here?" Of course, baby. Anything you want. And if they won't let her, I know for a fact she'll whine and pout until she gets her way..and if she still doesn't.. she'll probably flip them the bird and run off.
I should have done that.
I was taught better though.
Unlike her.
She makes me sick.
I want to hate her but it's no way to go about things. I'll just feel sorry for her instead.
Stupid life.
You can't keep me down.
Everytime you try to knock me--I'm gonna get back up.