I find myself lacking myself
So it really hit me saturday.
I'm at this Greek Orthodox wedding and it's like a 50 minute ceremony where they do everything 3 times. Luckily they let me use my tripod so it came out great. It was raining off and on. I'm glad i found my warm cards so I could white balance properly. If not, the picture would have been a nasty blue.
Then I head over to the reception. After doubling bakc to get my tripod which i forgot, I walk into the wannamaker building across from city hall (PA). This place is fantastic. It seesm that it was once a shopping center that rivaled Macy's in NY but it went out of buisness. Turns out the MAcy's bought it and is going to make it into a shopping center again. The building houses the worlds largest organ too. Or so I was told.
Anyway, the reception was in a huge hall and there had to be over 300 guests, all greek. They had a live band too. So everyone gets seated after a cocktail hour and the band starts up. If it hadn't been for my youth, i would have had a heart attack. The music was so loud the photographer yelled to me that he couldn't hear himself think. I think I was at a concert. But the worst thing is that greek songs last anywhere from 15-30 minutes. I had to leave the room twice because my ears started ringing.
So then dinner is served and i'm sitting around waiting for my meal or for anything to happen. Noticing nothign happening soon, since they have to feed 300+ people, I head to an adjacent rooma nd dial cutomer service on my phone. I was curious as to how much it cost to call over seas. The lady on the other end told me .99 cents to either the UK or Sicily.
So I said what the hell, I'll give her a call. I dial her number, excited to talk to her abotu this hell of a wedding. I've formed the habit of called her when the reception starts because it's downtime and I like to talk about the fun stuff at the wedding. To me, it almost sees romantic. I tell her about a cool part of the ceremony or how the bride's dress looked or what kind of food they had at the cocktail hour. I like to call her after the wedding too so that i can tell her what the bride and grom said about the first time they met or somehting they said for the end of the video (each video has a last scene with the bride and groom).
Anyway i dial her number and pause as i look at the photo of her in my phone. Longing to ask her about london weather, fish and chips and people with bad teeth. Her voice message comes up immediatly. That means her phone is off/dead. I try again. Nothing. After the wedding I call again. Nothing. I had forgotten that there is a 6 hour difference there. Me calling at 12 midnight is like calling at 6-7AM. So I try sunday afternoon. Still nothing.
I guess i'm lonely. It's strange. It's new. The fact that I can't call her or talk to her sort of wierds me out. Is this how my grandmother feels since her husband has passed on? Does my longing for her show me a deep rooted love? Am I just being an idiot? I could say that I have more free time, you know, try to find a positive, but work just sucks up the time. And on Monday I have class and nobody to hang out with. I know I didn't take our time together for granted but I guess i've become accustomed to her face...
I hope she checks her e-mail or livejournal or something soon. I hope she reads this and calls me. I'd pay 100 dollars in long distance just to have 2 minutes of her voice. Well, at least I get to hear her when her voice message comes on. ... ... Maybe I'll call it right now.
Alessandra, I hope all is well, that you are well, that your family is well, and that you come home safe. Damn, I miss you, you, goof.
I'm at this Greek Orthodox wedding and it's like a 50 minute ceremony where they do everything 3 times. Luckily they let me use my tripod so it came out great. It was raining off and on. I'm glad i found my warm cards so I could white balance properly. If not, the picture would have been a nasty blue.
Then I head over to the reception. After doubling bakc to get my tripod which i forgot, I walk into the wannamaker building across from city hall (PA). This place is fantastic. It seesm that it was once a shopping center that rivaled Macy's in NY but it went out of buisness. Turns out the MAcy's bought it and is going to make it into a shopping center again. The building houses the worlds largest organ too. Or so I was told.
Anyway, the reception was in a huge hall and there had to be over 300 guests, all greek. They had a live band too. So everyone gets seated after a cocktail hour and the band starts up. If it hadn't been for my youth, i would have had a heart attack. The music was so loud the photographer yelled to me that he couldn't hear himself think. I think I was at a concert. But the worst thing is that greek songs last anywhere from 15-30 minutes. I had to leave the room twice because my ears started ringing.
So then dinner is served and i'm sitting around waiting for my meal or for anything to happen. Noticing nothign happening soon, since they have to feed 300+ people, I head to an adjacent rooma nd dial cutomer service on my phone. I was curious as to how much it cost to call over seas. The lady on the other end told me .99 cents to either the UK or Sicily.
So I said what the hell, I'll give her a call. I dial her number, excited to talk to her abotu this hell of a wedding. I've formed the habit of called her when the reception starts because it's downtime and I like to talk about the fun stuff at the wedding. To me, it almost sees romantic. I tell her about a cool part of the ceremony or how the bride's dress looked or what kind of food they had at the cocktail hour. I like to call her after the wedding too so that i can tell her what the bride and grom said about the first time they met or somehting they said for the end of the video (each video has a last scene with the bride and groom).
Anyway i dial her number and pause as i look at the photo of her in my phone. Longing to ask her about london weather, fish and chips and people with bad teeth. Her voice message comes up immediatly. That means her phone is off/dead. I try again. Nothing. After the wedding I call again. Nothing. I had forgotten that there is a 6 hour difference there. Me calling at 12 midnight is like calling at 6-7AM. So I try sunday afternoon. Still nothing.
I guess i'm lonely. It's strange. It's new. The fact that I can't call her or talk to her sort of wierds me out. Is this how my grandmother feels since her husband has passed on? Does my longing for her show me a deep rooted love? Am I just being an idiot? I could say that I have more free time, you know, try to find a positive, but work just sucks up the time. And on Monday I have class and nobody to hang out with. I know I didn't take our time together for granted but I guess i've become accustomed to her face...
I hope she checks her e-mail or livejournal or something soon. I hope she reads this and calls me. I'd pay 100 dollars in long distance just to have 2 minutes of her voice. Well, at least I get to hear her when her voice message comes on. ... ... Maybe I'll call it right now.
Alessandra, I hope all is well, that you are well, that your family is well, and that you come home safe. Damn, I miss you, you, goof.