SHES OUT BACK COUNTING STARS

[digitaldummy]

Why do i do this to myself..
How do i fucking change.
I know what i need to do
u know what i need to do
we all agree on the plan...
but i cant.
its easier said than done.
i wish i could.
it would make everything easier.

haha oh geez it sounds like im
gunna kill myself.
um not today..

why did it break my heart.
it never meant anything to her.
why should it bother me..

what am i...
what was i...
i was just there....

i never want to hear the words
'i promise' again.. cuz its bullshit
no one ever follows through with what
they promise me.. even if u mean well.
please dont.

i just thought i was done with all that.

im so broke..

i had to go downstairs and ask chris for a hug
yesterday cuz i was so.......

i blame myself for letting people
hurt me. its just stupid of me
for letting people in.. and this is
the thoughts and feelings i never
wanted to feel. i dont want to be
keeping people out, i want to be
able to trust anyone and not have
to worry about anything..

but i need to wake up from
that romantic bullshit..

i cant do it anymore.
and im not going to
make myself that easy..

security...

i'll always say
things will be ok..