BAD BAD HABITS..........
So yea pride was sunday..
It was ok, i was bored.
I played soccer almost the whole time..
Ok back to bad habits..
i've been unmedicated for a long time now.
and im taking advantage of alcohal........
lots of it... only on saturdays, and days
of pride.. ew.. Kim gave me a beer at pride.
I almost threw up on myself, i HATE beer!!!
but it was the only thing i had to drink at
the time.. So i drink alot up to 2 nights a
week now.. i wouldnt say a lot, but i do get
drunk. and i love the feeling. When summer is
over i will definitly calm down this habit..
I stopped eating pretty much all together.
Im too fat for myself, i mean other than my
fat im content with myself. Im really trying
to not eat meat, but everytime i leave my house
its always on an empty stomach, up to a day with
no food... so what happens, i eat fucking meat..
blah.. which makes it like whats the point..
I havent taken any vitimins while on this crash
diet.. and i need to.. but they are like fucking
horse pills :( All i have eaten today is 2 pickles..
I havent eaten pizza in so fucking long.. im dying
on the inside lol.. pizza + mary = best friends.
not anymore.. now i just have to cut the meat..
i'll eat chicken, not fried..
The 2 pickles i had today, are fucking up my
stomach, all day i felt like i was going to puke,
but theres nothing to puke up.. Im going to make
myself sick.. thats what i need. some kinda illness
that doesnt hurt, but will let me eat soup all day
long.. I dropped 2 pant sizes within 2 weeks..
If i drop 60lbs im going back to see about the Army..
i think thats how much i would have to lose.. i
dont want to lose that much but for a woman my height
in the army, u have to be tinnnnny..
anyway.
Went to Melbas yesterday, i fucking love it there!!!
I want to move there, but i dont have 1150 a month.
anyone wanna split rent and share a bed? haha!
So i had the interview today, i think i got it., but truth is..
I dont wanna work there, cuz its too much, i dont wanna be doing shit
that 17 year olds should be doing. I have too much experiance
to be fucking around.. and if im going to be fucking around
i want to have fun.. so im going to check out local day camps.
for tha kiddiez. i wouldnt mind spending the summer with rug
rats.. hell it might even make me have a change of heart for
career options. right now i'd rather be a cop than a teacher,
but who knows.. i'd rather sell myself to mtv for a reality
show before all choices lol.
where am i going with this.. oh yes, im moving out soon..
realistically i can do it in 5 months.. blah..
i havent slept yet.. i sleep 6-8 hours, then im awake
for 2 days straight, then i sleep for 6-8 hours then im
awake for 2 days straight...
This month is crazy tho, between philly and nyc..
i dont know whats going to happen...
It was ok, i was bored.
I played soccer almost the whole time..
Ok back to bad habits..
i've been unmedicated for a long time now.
and im taking advantage of alcohal........
lots of it... only on saturdays, and days
of pride.. ew.. Kim gave me a beer at pride.
I almost threw up on myself, i HATE beer!!!
but it was the only thing i had to drink at
the time.. So i drink alot up to 2 nights a
week now.. i wouldnt say a lot, but i do get
drunk. and i love the feeling. When summer is
over i will definitly calm down this habit..
I stopped eating pretty much all together.
Im too fat for myself, i mean other than my
fat im content with myself. Im really trying
to not eat meat, but everytime i leave my house
its always on an empty stomach, up to a day with
no food... so what happens, i eat fucking meat..
blah.. which makes it like whats the point..
I havent taken any vitimins while on this crash
diet.. and i need to.. but they are like fucking
horse pills :( All i have eaten today is 2 pickles..
I havent eaten pizza in so fucking long.. im dying
on the inside lol.. pizza + mary = best friends.
not anymore.. now i just have to cut the meat..
i'll eat chicken, not fried..
The 2 pickles i had today, are fucking up my
stomach, all day i felt like i was going to puke,
but theres nothing to puke up.. Im going to make
myself sick.. thats what i need. some kinda illness
that doesnt hurt, but will let me eat soup all day
long.. I dropped 2 pant sizes within 2 weeks..
If i drop 60lbs im going back to see about the Army..
i think thats how much i would have to lose.. i
dont want to lose that much but for a woman my height
in the army, u have to be tinnnnny..
anyway.
Went to Melbas yesterday, i fucking love it there!!!
I want to move there, but i dont have 1150 a month.
anyone wanna split rent and share a bed? haha!
So i had the interview today, i think i got it., but truth is..
I dont wanna work there, cuz its too much, i dont wanna be doing shit
that 17 year olds should be doing. I have too much experiance
to be fucking around.. and if im going to be fucking around
i want to have fun.. so im going to check out local day camps.
for tha kiddiez. i wouldnt mind spending the summer with rug
rats.. hell it might even make me have a change of heart for
career options. right now i'd rather be a cop than a teacher,
but who knows.. i'd rather sell myself to mtv for a reality
show before all choices lol.
where am i going with this.. oh yes, im moving out soon..
realistically i can do it in 5 months.. blah..
i havent slept yet.. i sleep 6-8 hours, then im awake
for 2 days straight, then i sleep for 6-8 hours then im
awake for 2 days straight...
This month is crazy tho, between philly and nyc..
i dont know whats going to happen...