"Almost loved you, I almost wished you would've loved me too.."

[digital_tea]

Ending up going to the football game. And yes, I went alone. Wow, I'm just so cool and popular...*lmao* My dad dropped me off right as it was starting. Looked around for anyone to sit by. Couldn't find anyone so I sat by myself. I felt so alone. Almost cried. Lol, god I'm a baby. Anyway, after a little while this gigantic, stinking, sweaty black man came and sat next to me. Oh my gosh, it was horrible!!! I was crushed up against the side of the bar and couldn't move. He had bad breath and he kept screaming in my ear. Thank god he moved eventually. *shudders* Sat around and said hi to people passing. Most didn't acknowledge me, but others did. My dad and little brother showed up after a while. My dad really got into the game. It was so funny. xD He was screaming and stuff. Half time show was AWESOME! You guys were so great! :D Stanislaus sucked balls. xDD I mean, my cousin's in the band, but my god. Horrible. You guys were so much better. xD Sirena came and found me after half time and we ran to get food. Mmmmm, food. Got tackled and hugged by Lisa. Goof. xP Then I saw my cousin. Gave him a hug and said hey and such. I'm probably gonna go hang out with him on Sunday. Meet all his little stanislaus buddies. xD Anyway, Sirena got food and we went back over to where the band sits. Talked and bothered people. Gave everybody hugs. Weeeee, then couldn't think of a good insult to call Jarred. xD Damn I gotta work on that. Left, found my dad, watched for a little while longer, then left. I saw Luca's mom and Chris' little sister on the way out. Whoa, what a blast of nostaligia that was. I think Chris' sister hates me. xD She was just glaring at me until I gave her a big smile. She smiled though. I don't know why she would hate me. I stook up for her when Chris was mean to her. Gosh was he mean to her. I would get so mad at him. *sigh* Chris is such an ass.. Anyway, walked to my dad's truck. It was freezing and I hade to pee really badly.(and yes, you guys needed to know that!) xD Sang Beatles on the way home. My dad said I sang really good. My dad can really really sing, so that came as a big compliment to me. My dad's been so nice to me lately. I've been sorta gloomy and depressed the last few days and he actually asked me what's wrong. My mom on the other hand...Lol, we're not gonna get into that...

Anyway, yeah that was my night. Regardless of how fun it was, I still had that feeling of emptyness inside. Something's definately missing. I feel incomplete... I need something to fill that void..

I still hate my feelings. I'm confused on what the fuck to do with them.. Should I keep them..? Should I just forget..? They feel worthless at this point... I'm tired of hurting inside all the time. I don't know what to do...or what I will do. I'm just going to wait it out I suppose.. *sigh*

I'm really sorry. I'm whining too much again. I need to keep this to myself. I'm sorry..

I love you all so much! Sweet dreams and sleep tight to all. *pick up hugs and kisses here* :]

I almost forgot to say something else
And if I cant fit it in I’ll keep it all to myself
I almost wrote a song about you today
But I tore it all open and I threw it away

And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn’t cut it
Almost had you
And I didn’t even know it

You kept me guessing and now I guess that
I spent my time missing you
And I almost had you

I almost wish you would’ve loved me too

Bowling for Soup- Almost

Emery!! Damn you!! You got me hooked on this song. xDD

[♥]Paulina