I will just leave this here. (And yes, I will talk over characters for Dive soon, got distracted.)
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Gaston
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here’d love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There’s no man in town as admired as you
You’re ev’ryone’s favorite guy
Ev’ryone’s awed and inspired by you
And it’s not very hard to see why
No one’s slick as Gaston
No one’s quick as Gaston
No one’s dick’s as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there’s no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
No one beds like Gaston
No one weds like Gaston
On the weekend nobody gets head like Gaston
As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating
My- what a guy, that Gaston
Give five “hurrahs!”
Give twelve “hip-hips!”
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips
No one fights like Gaston
Sets off lights like Gaston
In a broom closet nobody bites like Gaston
For there’s no one as burly and brawny
As you see I’ve got inches to spare
Not a bit of him’s scraggly or scrawny
(That’s right!)
And ev’ry last inch of me’s covered with hair….?
No one hits like Gaston
Nibbles bits like Gaston
Or on fine occasions licks tits like Gaston
I’m especially good at defoliating
(HNNNG!)
Ten points for Gaston!
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev’ry morning to help me get large
And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I’m roughly the size of a barge
No one shoots like Gaston
Nails those beauts like Gaston
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
I use playboy in all of my decorating
MY WHAT A GUY
GASTON!!
Yet another parody. I'm going to hell for this one.
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here’d love to be you, Gaston
Even when taking your lumps
There’s no man in town as admired as you
You’re ev’ryone’s favorite guy
Ev’ryone’s awed and inspired by you
And it’s not very hard to see why
No one’s slick as Gaston
No one’s quick as Gaston
No one’s dick’s as incredibly thick as Gaston
For there’s no man in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley
And they’ll tell you whose team they prefer to be on
No one beds like Gaston
No one weds like Gaston
On the weekend nobody gets head like Gaston
As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating
My- what a guy, that Gaston
Give five “hurrahs!”
Give twelve “hip-hips!”
Gaston is the best
And the rest is all drips
No one fights like Gaston
Sets off lights like Gaston
In a broom closet nobody bites like Gaston
For there’s no one as burly and brawny
As you see I’ve got inches to spare
Not a bit of him’s scraggly or scrawny
(That’s right!)
And ev’ry last inch of me’s covered with hair….?
No one hits like Gaston
Nibbles bits like Gaston
Or on fine occasions licks tits like Gaston
I’m especially good at defoliating
(HNNNG!)
Ten points for Gaston!
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev’ry morning to help me get large
And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I’m roughly the size of a barge
No one shoots like Gaston
Nails those beauts like Gaston
Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston
I use playboy in all of my decorating
MY WHAT A GUY
GASTON!!
Yet another parody. I'm going to hell for this one.