A Formal Request
Dear Book,
Please cease moving immediately. It is very not appropriate for a book to clunk around the house and carry on as you do. I am well aware that you may or may not be aching for attention, but we do not keep pets because I simply don't have the time to lavish the said attention you so apperantly need. Actually we don't keep pets because Amos spoils things- not bad spoiling, the good sort of spoiling with too many sweets and paying for Quidditch lessons when he is afraid of heights. In any case, you should not consider yourself a pet. You are a book. Books do not A.) Jump from the shelves where they are carefully stored. B.) Bite the ankles of the wife of the man they belong to, because I don't much like surprises and you did not much like being thrown into the wall, if I remember correctly. And C.) Do not rummage through my cupboards and knock down all the kettles because really, I spent a lot of time putting them there by hand to work out the wrist and in one minute you have undone all of my work. I say good day to you, Book. You will stay in the bookshelf until Amos is quite finished with his work on Billywigs and sees fit to write in you. Failure to comply will result in my tearing out your pages, sir, one by one.
Do not try your luck,
Bernadette Gale Diggory
Please cease moving immediately. It is very not appropriate for a book to clunk around the house and carry on as you do. I am well aware that you may or may not be aching for attention, but we do not keep pets because I simply don't have the time to lavish the said attention you so apperantly need. Actually we don't keep pets because Amos spoils things- not bad spoiling, the good sort of spoiling with too many sweets and paying for Quidditch lessons when he is afraid of heights. In any case, you should not consider yourself a pet. You are a book. Books do not A.) Jump from the shelves where they are carefully stored. B.) Bite the ankles of the wife of the man they belong to, because I don't much like surprises and you did not much like being thrown into the wall, if I remember correctly. And C.) Do not rummage through my cupboards and knock down all the kettles because really, I spent a lot of time putting them there by hand to work out the wrist and in one minute you have undone all of my work. I say good day to you, Book. You will stay in the bookshelf until Amos is quite finished with his work on Billywigs and sees fit to write in you. Failure to comply will result in my tearing out your pages, sir, one by one.
Do not try your luck,
Bernadette Gale Diggory