The Gasoline
Title: How to set bones on fire.
Chapter: The Gasoline
Rating: pg 13 for this chap. the next might go higher..
Pairing & Characters: Fernando Torres / Sergio Ramos (Unrequited?), Steven Gerrard / Xabi Alonso (Implied), Iker Casillas, Cesc Fábregas, Robin Van Persie, Fabio Cannavaro, and Jamie Carragher.
Summary: that hot fluttery sensation. AU.
Disclaimer: We'll never know.
A/N: First off, thanks for the comments. I didn't expect so much, really. I couldn't stop smilin!!!!1!!!1.
So anyways, onto this chapter. The outer comment I've gotten from this were "This sucks""You left out too many things", so I'm gonna back that up. Fabio Cannavaro is important, so this won't be the last of him. And for the record, unfolding glasses do make a little sound. I've own a pair, ok? and If I continue backing up I might just spoil this so. Enjoy and sorry if there's errors. I don't have a beta :c
I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Sergio is a smart guy, so smart that he scares himself sometimes. He's not so cocky about it, but he is aware that he's top notch. Everything that he does is practically perfection and the thing is, he doesn't even try to. It's just something that he has inherited somehow, although he is the first in his family to go to college-or to any school in that manner.
He's never questioned it but now, he wonders.
Fernando is easy to read. He's always have been. The way he looks or say things, it's always obvious of how he feels. They've been friends for a year now and Sergio already knows his every move like they've been friends for years. He has other friends but Fernando is the one he knows best. Even if he knew Iker longer.
Which is why he questioned himself when he couldn't figure out what was up with him.
At first, he brushed it off. The staring stuff. But when it became a consistent thing, when he caught him in the act and how jitzy he became, he knew something was wrong.
Then, Fernando stopped doing it and Sergio stopped worrying.
After that, they started hanging out more. Fernando dragged him outside his dorm room every chance he got and for once, Sergio didn't mind. He was growing to love the persistent video games and fútbol matches. All the things Fernando loved, Sergio was loving them as well. He even began to realize that he was being more freewheeling about things, like speeding down the streets when Fernando told him to or drink beers whenever they went out. It was all things that Sergio wasn't very found of but, it didn't hurt to do that stuff every once in a while. Not when his grades were still tremendously high.
Things were good until a girl he knew from his Atmospheric class showed up, wanted Sergio and her to go out. He knew it was a date and this girl clearly had liked him a lot, so he didn't want to disappoint her. She wasn't that bad looking anyway.
When he had told Fernando he was expecting something other than a reminder of their plans-that he had forgotten-and a frown. Sergio told him that he would reschedule, but Fernando told him to go anyway-despite the fact that he literally paid €300 for the tickets. Fernando tried convincing him that he was okay with it all but, Sergio knew he was upset.
He even made it more clear when he avoided him the next day.
What Sergio couldn't figure was why he was so upset. Yeah - it was a football match that he had wanted to see for a while now, but he could have still went without him. Why was he making it a big deal.
“He's jealous.”
When Iker had said that, it repeated over and over in Sergio's mind until he finally understood what he meant. He's jealous.
“It's just a date. I'm not gonna suddenly dump my best friend for some girl.”
Iker's eyes widened when he had said that, like he was shocked or something.
“Wow.” he said. “..I didn't know that you were so...dense.”
Iker had left after that and Sergio was left confused the entire day. He couldn't think why Iker would have said something like that. Nothing could occur.
Sergio went to the date anyways.
He called Fernando that evening, but it went straight to voicemail. Sergio knew he turned it off purposely.
He tried to ignore the sense of hurt he felt. He wanted to stay happy for the girl while they went on various rides, but all he kept doing was reminding himself that he made Fernando upset. Sergio was tense throughout the whole damn thing and luckily, Olalla had noticed that. She told them that they could go home.
Sergio couldn't have been any happier at that moment.
When he went back to Fernando's dorm, Iker and Cesc were at his door like guards.
“It's best that you stay out here for a while.” Iker told him.
Sergio started to panic and Cesc's worried expression wasn't helping at all.
“W - What's wrong? Is he okay? Did something happen?”
“No, he's fine just...just call me in about 15 minutes. Stay out here, okay?”
“But Iker-”
“He's fine. Stay out here.”
Once they had crept inside his room, Sergio sworn he was hyperventilating-and he hadn't done that since Elementary.
For some reason he was dead stuck on the thought of Fernando being terribly ill. And perhaps the thought of it being his fault. For him being selfish and taking upon some silly date over what Fernando excitedly planned for them. Then he realized that he practically did just dump his best friend over a girl.
He never really hated himself until that moment.
Being so compulsive over the time, he called Iker when the 15 minutes were up. They came out of his room and Iker closed the door before he had said something about “a choice”.
Sergio frowned. “What?”
“Nothing. Look, remember what I told yesterday about Fernando?”
“T - The jealousy?”
“Bingo. We're going.”
They tried leaving but Sergio was having enough of it.
“What the hell is going on?!”
Iker had sighed and reluctantly turned around. “I sometimes wonder how you have As in every class. The door is right there. We're going.”
With a small chuckle from Cesc, they disappeared from his sight.
Sergio never felt so confused, that isn't what he's good at. He almost understands anything that is thrown at him and why. He's top notch, but this, ..this was out of his reach somehow. Sergio knew through that door was the answer, so he stopped pacing the hallway and walked in.
It was a bigger deal than he had thought.
Fernando looked horrible. His hair was all over the place, his eyes were dark, and he just reeked of sulk. When Sergio had sat down, he had to hold the urge to hug him-like he had always done when things upset him.
Fernando tried to smile but it failed and he cried, told him he can't tell Sergio-and that just hurt him even more. Because they're friends and friends should be able to tell each other everything. Then Sergio grabbed his hand, wiped his tears, told him that he can. Then, things just happened so quickly but it all comes to him, everything.
This is why he wonders.
Fernando is easy to read. He's always have been. The way he looks or say things, it's always obvious of how he feels. They've been friends for a year now and Sergio already knows his every move like they've been friends for years.
If he's so smart, how couldn't he have realized that Fernando was falling for him?
-
“He what?”
“He said he was glad that I was okay and left.” Fernando says to Cesc, emotionlessly.
“That's..” Cesc starts, utterly upset. He's been treating the whole situation like a soap opera, but he still cares. “..That's fucked up.”
“What is?” Robin Van Persie joins Cesc's side on the bench that they're attached to, adding himself into the conversation.
“Fernando kissed Sergio and then Sergio just left afterwords.” Cesc finishes.
Fernando sighs while he flips open his laptop. “Tell the whole campus, Fábregas.”
Cesc smiles apologetically. “Err..sorry.”
“Yeah well, I pretty much figured you two were either flirting or fucking already.” Robin says as he stuffs powdered fat cakes in his mouth. Cesc attacks the Dunkin Donut's bag immediately.
“..I'm pretty sure it's unrequited.” Fernando mumbles, staring mindlessly at Microsoft Word-but really recalling the way Sergio looked at him after he had kissed him. He cringes.
“I wouldn't be too surprised if he likes you back. I always thought he was fucking gay.” Robin blurts out. Not caring that some students are staring at him, or at his unusual shade of colors in his hair.
Fernando's noes wrinkles at Robin's vulgar speech, he doesn't understand how Cesc can deal with him all day.
“I always thought that too!” Cesc cheered. “Did he ever tell you what he preferred, Nando?”
Fernando shakes his head. “No, but..he did go out with that girl on Saturday. I'm assuming he's probably straight.”
Cesc pouts while Robin wipes some of the powdered sugar off his face for him, like they're some married couple. Fernando's heart aches.
“Man, he's such a mystery.” Cesc finally says and Fernando is growing tired of the way Robin has his arm over his shoulders, threading his fingers in his hair. Suddenly, Fernando misses those times when he would hug or wrestle or chase Sergio around, he wishes he would have took more advantage of that because now there is no hope they'll be doing that anymore.
He slams his laptop shut, discarding his essay, and stands. “I better get to Cannavaro's class early. See ya later.” he says in a rush.
He can still hear them though.
“Doesn't he have that class with Sergio now?”
*
“So I take it you read it fully, then?”
Sergio nods as Cannavaro scans his stabled essay. It took him longer to finish on Sunday because he couldn't focus. And that has never been a problem for Sergio, until Fernando and that kiss came along, that kiss.
Cannavaro frowns.
“What's wrong?” Sergio quickly asks.
“You didn't mention Re di Maggio's successor.”
The world stops spinning for Sergio, he stutters. “I - I could have sworn that...” He frustratingly digs his fingers through his hair, remembering how he overlooked that in his textbook-when he kept thinking of Fernando. “I'm sorry.” he says.
Cannavaro takes pity and pats his shoulder. “It's alright, Ramos. You're my best student. I'll still give you credit. You did mention his predecessor.”
Sergio sighs relief. “Thanks, Mr. Cannavaro.”
Cannavaro nods and squeezes his shoulder a beat too long before letting him go.
Sergio walks to one of the very back rows this time. He's not feeling like himself anymore.
Sunday was a disaster and a confusing chaotic twister. He tried not to think so much of what happened between he and Fernando, but eventually, the image came crawling back into his mind. He couldn't let go of the fact that he left. Fernando cries and kisses him and he just leaves, like an idiot. He tries to think of how he could have handled that better, but all it results in is Fernando pushing him on his back and attacking his mouth and neck. That image alone just makes Sergio all fluttery and hot inside, it's indescribable and it irritates him. He's stressing himself out over the fact that he's so fucking confused and that he never gets confused, he's Sergio Ramos-the smartest student in his year.
Because he has an compulsive disorder, he knows that he won't go to sleep tonight until he finds who Re di Maggio's successor is. And perhaps what he should do over the fact that Fernando likes him.
*
Right before he enters the class Fernando tells himself not to search for him, but he ends up doing so.
He use to have History with Cesc, until he switched classes-because Sergio told him to before their incident happened, history would be much better that way. Fernando couldn't wait but now, he wishes he would have.
He sees him in the very back. His glasses are rid up on top of his hair and he's frowning down at his papers. He looks tired and Fernando feels guilty, because he knows he's the cause of that.
“Torres! Over here!”
The attention is drawn to him due to the loudness of one person he didn't think he would have this class with other than Sergio,-Steven Gerrard.
Fernando glances around as he makes his way up the steps, noticing that Sergio's is watching him-he doesn't dare return the gaze.
When he sits down he immediately starts talking, like he's perfectly okay.
“Hey, Steven!” he says a bit too enthusiastically.
Steven falters but recovers soon enough to give him a big grin. “Hey, Fer. You take this time slot now?”
“Yeah, I kinda switched.”
“Why?”
Fernando lets out a fake snort and shakes his head. “It's nothing important.”
“Well...” Steven starts until two students enter the class room, making him yell in excitement. “Jamie! Xab! LOOK WHO'S IN OUR CLASS!”
Cannavaro gives Steven a look that Fernando catches before Jamie and Xabi come to their row, laughing at how loud their friend gets.
“Hey, Nando.” Xabi says politely, sitting on his right while Steven and Jamie sit on his left.
“Hey, I haven't seen you in a while.” Fernando says.
“He's been cooped up in our dorm, glued to Steven all day.” Jamie says for him, throwing his textbooks on the table loudly.
Steven laughs innocently and Xabi reddens, but only Fernando notices it.
Jamie grabs one of the textbooks he threw down that has a red cover on it and turns in his chair.
“Ramos! Here's yer book back!”
Fernando heart skips a beat and he tries not to turn around. It already hurts to sit so far away from him.
He can already hear him walking down the steps and he just keeps his gaze to his tangled fingers, because he honestly has nothing else to look at-he doesn't.
“Thanks.”
His voice makes Fernando's cheeks burn.
Jamie stands and leans over them, because Sergio is standing by the end of their table. Before Sergio can walk away, Jamie speaks up.
“Hey, this is weird.” he says, and they all look at him. “Shouldn't you two be glued together as well?” he laughs and Steven joins him. Fernando gives a wry smile and looks back to his hands.
Sergio speaks for him. “He does have other friends, Carragher.” he says coldly, defensively. There's a awkward pause and then the sound of Sergio putting his glasses on-a sound Fernando knows perfectly well.
“I'll see you after class, Fernando.” Then he's walking back up the steps.
Fernando tunes out Jamie's profanity and replays what Sergio said, of them meeting after class. Fernando is worried because by the likes of it, Sergio doesn't sound too happy. And he can only imagine what Sergio is planning to say to him. Something like ending their friendship.
It's sad to think that way for Fernando, because Sergio is such a nice person, but he can't help but think that way when Sergio's cold voice is ringing in his ear.
*
This is the first lecture Sergio doesn't pay attention to. He can't because for some reason, he's so angered. Not about anyone else, but himself. He's doing everything wrong.
He's breathing wrong, he's doing his work wrong, he's putting his books in his messenger bag wrong-everything is wrong and it's ticking him off.
And now, as he faces Fernando in the hallway, he's glaring.
“..s-so..” Fernando starts, pathetically looking down and Sergio softens then, because he can't act such way towards Fernando.
“I'm sorry.” he says. “I..I shouldn't have left the way I did.”
Fernando frowns. “No, it's okay. I shouldn't had...kissed you.”
“No!, uhh, I mean, you did it on impulse.” Sergio blurts, without thinking. Fernando just stares at him. “W - When you like someone you can't control some of the things you do.” Sergio doesn't know what he's saying anymore, he's full blown embarrassed now and just blurting out facts he knows. But Fernando seems to equally be the same when he blushes and cracks a smile.
“Yeah..I - I guess.” he says. “So, um, are we cool now?”
Sergio nods. “Yeah. We've always been.”
There's a contentious moment when they both sigh at the same time, making them both laugh in the manner. Sergio suddenly feels lighter.
“Hey, uhh, do you want to go to my dorm afterwords?” Fernando asks once he's done laughing.
Sergio is having a hard time controlling his smile. “Yeah, sure.”
Then something triggers in him and his whole mood gets flipped over again. Go to Fernando's dorm afterwords?
“Actually, I - I can't. I have to go to Iker's.”
Fernando is visibly disappointed but he nods anyway. “Oh Okay then, I guess tomorro-”
“I have to go now, so, I'll see you some other time. Bye.” Sergio walks away and nearly trips over his shoe string but he keeps going.
His whole mind is racing over Fernando's dorm room, where that kiss took place, where Fernando wants him to be.
He doesn't know why it's giving him that hot fluttering sensation in his stomach again, but it's becoming unendurable. It's getting out of his control.
*
Fernando doesn't try to be too upset about it. He makes himself believe that Sergio really had to go at that moment, and not out of spite from being scared of the two of them alone together. But when he goes to Cesc's room after his classes-for some unknown reason to himself, he breaks down.
Cesc feeds him beer and sweets the entire time until he throws up and leaves.
*
“Why do you have so many melons?”
“You're not even listening to me.” Sergio says as Iker digs through his earlier lunch he bought.
Iker sighs and says, “I am I just, I don't understand why you keep running away. It's not like he has some sort of disease.”
“I know but,.. I'm starting to feel weird when I'm around him.” Sergio plays with the ends of his sweater, remembering the way his stomach felt.
Iker watches him from his seat on the floor, digging in Sergio's bag for whatever is edible-he doesn't feel like going to the store just yet.
“Well, I don't know what to tell ya.” Iker says, finding a half squished Snicker bar, but he unwraps it anyway. “Just..don't keep this up. You're bound to start making him feel bad if you do.”
Sergio nods and there's a perfect pout at his lips when he does. “Okay.” he mutters. He's never felt helpless before, ever. He always figures out whats wrong with things and it just upsets him that he can't even figure out whats wrong with himself-he should be able to. It's like there's a breeze coming from a direction he can't seem to grasp, though there's a direction sign right in front of him. It's like he's blind.
Iker stares at him for a while as he chews on the chocolate goodness. Then he swallows and raises his brows. “Can I ask you something?”
Sergio looks up with his glasses at the very edge of his nose. He doesn't bother pushing them forward. “Sure.”
Iker bits his bottom lip. “Don't laugh.”
“I won't?” Sergio says.
Iker frowns. “..Who the hell is Robin?”
Chapter: The Gasoline
Rating: pg 13 for this chap. the next might go higher..
Pairing & Characters: Fernando Torres / Sergio Ramos (Unrequited?), Steven Gerrard / Xabi Alonso (Implied), Iker Casillas, Cesc Fábregas, Robin Van Persie, Fabio Cannavaro, and Jamie Carragher.
Summary: that hot fluttery sensation. AU.
Disclaimer: We'll never know.
A/N: First off, thanks for the comments. I didn't expect so much, really. I couldn't stop smilin!!!!1!!!1.
So anyways, onto this chapter. The outer comment I've gotten from this were "This sucks""You left out too many things", so I'm gonna back that up. Fabio Cannavaro is important, so this won't be the last of him. And for the record, unfolding glasses do make a little sound. I've own a pair, ok? and If I continue backing up I might just spoil this so. Enjoy and sorry if there's errors. I don't have a beta :c
I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Sergio is a smart guy, so smart that he scares himself sometimes. He's not so cocky about it, but he is aware that he's top notch. Everything that he does is practically perfection and the thing is, he doesn't even try to. It's just something that he has inherited somehow, although he is the first in his family to go to college-or to any school in that manner.
He's never questioned it but now, he wonders.
Fernando is easy to read. He's always have been. The way he looks or say things, it's always obvious of how he feels. They've been friends for a year now and Sergio already knows his every move like they've been friends for years. He has other friends but Fernando is the one he knows best. Even if he knew Iker longer.
Which is why he questioned himself when he couldn't figure out what was up with him.
At first, he brushed it off. The staring stuff. But when it became a consistent thing, when he caught him in the act and how jitzy he became, he knew something was wrong.
Then, Fernando stopped doing it and Sergio stopped worrying.
After that, they started hanging out more. Fernando dragged him outside his dorm room every chance he got and for once, Sergio didn't mind. He was growing to love the persistent video games and fútbol matches. All the things Fernando loved, Sergio was loving them as well. He even began to realize that he was being more freewheeling about things, like speeding down the streets when Fernando told him to or drink beers whenever they went out. It was all things that Sergio wasn't very found of but, it didn't hurt to do that stuff every once in a while. Not when his grades were still tremendously high.
Things were good until a girl he knew from his Atmospheric class showed up, wanted Sergio and her to go out. He knew it was a date and this girl clearly had liked him a lot, so he didn't want to disappoint her. She wasn't that bad looking anyway.
When he had told Fernando he was expecting something other than a reminder of their plans-that he had forgotten-and a frown. Sergio told him that he would reschedule, but Fernando told him to go anyway-despite the fact that he literally paid €300 for the tickets. Fernando tried convincing him that he was okay with it all but, Sergio knew he was upset.
He even made it more clear when he avoided him the next day.
What Sergio couldn't figure was why he was so upset. Yeah - it was a football match that he had wanted to see for a while now, but he could have still went without him. Why was he making it a big deal.
“He's jealous.”
When Iker had said that, it repeated over and over in Sergio's mind until he finally understood what he meant. He's jealous.
“It's just a date. I'm not gonna suddenly dump my best friend for some girl.”
Iker's eyes widened when he had said that, like he was shocked or something.
“Wow.” he said. “..I didn't know that you were so...dense.”
Iker had left after that and Sergio was left confused the entire day. He couldn't think why Iker would have said something like that. Nothing could occur.
Sergio went to the date anyways.
He called Fernando that evening, but it went straight to voicemail. Sergio knew he turned it off purposely.
He tried to ignore the sense of hurt he felt. He wanted to stay happy for the girl while they went on various rides, but all he kept doing was reminding himself that he made Fernando upset. Sergio was tense throughout the whole damn thing and luckily, Olalla had noticed that. She told them that they could go home.
Sergio couldn't have been any happier at that moment.
When he went back to Fernando's dorm, Iker and Cesc were at his door like guards.
“It's best that you stay out here for a while.” Iker told him.
Sergio started to panic and Cesc's worried expression wasn't helping at all.
“W - What's wrong? Is he okay? Did something happen?”
“No, he's fine just...just call me in about 15 minutes. Stay out here, okay?”
“But Iker-”
“He's fine. Stay out here.”
Once they had crept inside his room, Sergio sworn he was hyperventilating-and he hadn't done that since Elementary.
For some reason he was dead stuck on the thought of Fernando being terribly ill. And perhaps the thought of it being his fault. For him being selfish and taking upon some silly date over what Fernando excitedly planned for them. Then he realized that he practically did just dump his best friend over a girl.
He never really hated himself until that moment.
Being so compulsive over the time, he called Iker when the 15 minutes were up. They came out of his room and Iker closed the door before he had said something about “a choice”.
Sergio frowned. “What?”
“Nothing. Look, remember what I told yesterday about Fernando?”
“T - The jealousy?”
“Bingo. We're going.”
They tried leaving but Sergio was having enough of it.
“What the hell is going on?!”
Iker had sighed and reluctantly turned around. “I sometimes wonder how you have As in every class. The door is right there. We're going.”
With a small chuckle from Cesc, they disappeared from his sight.
Sergio never felt so confused, that isn't what he's good at. He almost understands anything that is thrown at him and why. He's top notch, but this, ..this was out of his reach somehow. Sergio knew through that door was the answer, so he stopped pacing the hallway and walked in.
It was a bigger deal than he had thought.
Fernando looked horrible. His hair was all over the place, his eyes were dark, and he just reeked of sulk. When Sergio had sat down, he had to hold the urge to hug him-like he had always done when things upset him.
Fernando tried to smile but it failed and he cried, told him he can't tell Sergio-and that just hurt him even more. Because they're friends and friends should be able to tell each other everything. Then Sergio grabbed his hand, wiped his tears, told him that he can. Then, things just happened so quickly but it all comes to him, everything.
This is why he wonders.
Fernando is easy to read. He's always have been. The way he looks or say things, it's always obvious of how he feels. They've been friends for a year now and Sergio already knows his every move like they've been friends for years.
If he's so smart, how couldn't he have realized that Fernando was falling for him?
-
“He what?”
“He said he was glad that I was okay and left.” Fernando says to Cesc, emotionlessly.
“That's..” Cesc starts, utterly upset. He's been treating the whole situation like a soap opera, but he still cares. “..That's fucked up.”
“What is?” Robin Van Persie joins Cesc's side on the bench that they're attached to, adding himself into the conversation.
“Fernando kissed Sergio and then Sergio just left afterwords.” Cesc finishes.
Fernando sighs while he flips open his laptop. “Tell the whole campus, Fábregas.”
Cesc smiles apologetically. “Err..sorry.”
“Yeah well, I pretty much figured you two were either flirting or fucking already.” Robin says as he stuffs powdered fat cakes in his mouth. Cesc attacks the Dunkin Donut's bag immediately.
“..I'm pretty sure it's unrequited.” Fernando mumbles, staring mindlessly at Microsoft Word-but really recalling the way Sergio looked at him after he had kissed him. He cringes.
“I wouldn't be too surprised if he likes you back. I always thought he was fucking gay.” Robin blurts out. Not caring that some students are staring at him, or at his unusual shade of colors in his hair.
Fernando's noes wrinkles at Robin's vulgar speech, he doesn't understand how Cesc can deal with him all day.
“I always thought that too!” Cesc cheered. “Did he ever tell you what he preferred, Nando?”
Fernando shakes his head. “No, but..he did go out with that girl on Saturday. I'm assuming he's probably straight.”
Cesc pouts while Robin wipes some of the powdered sugar off his face for him, like they're some married couple. Fernando's heart aches.
“Man, he's such a mystery.” Cesc finally says and Fernando is growing tired of the way Robin has his arm over his shoulders, threading his fingers in his hair. Suddenly, Fernando misses those times when he would hug or wrestle or chase Sergio around, he wishes he would have took more advantage of that because now there is no hope they'll be doing that anymore.
He slams his laptop shut, discarding his essay, and stands. “I better get to Cannavaro's class early. See ya later.” he says in a rush.
He can still hear them though.
“Doesn't he have that class with Sergio now?”
*
“So I take it you read it fully, then?”
Sergio nods as Cannavaro scans his stabled essay. It took him longer to finish on Sunday because he couldn't focus. And that has never been a problem for Sergio, until Fernando and that kiss came along, that kiss.
Cannavaro frowns.
“What's wrong?” Sergio quickly asks.
“You didn't mention Re di Maggio's successor.”
The world stops spinning for Sergio, he stutters. “I - I could have sworn that...” He frustratingly digs his fingers through his hair, remembering how he overlooked that in his textbook-when he kept thinking of Fernando. “I'm sorry.” he says.
Cannavaro takes pity and pats his shoulder. “It's alright, Ramos. You're my best student. I'll still give you credit. You did mention his predecessor.”
Sergio sighs relief. “Thanks, Mr. Cannavaro.”
Cannavaro nods and squeezes his shoulder a beat too long before letting him go.
Sergio walks to one of the very back rows this time. He's not feeling like himself anymore.
Sunday was a disaster and a confusing chaotic twister. He tried not to think so much of what happened between he and Fernando, but eventually, the image came crawling back into his mind. He couldn't let go of the fact that he left. Fernando cries and kisses him and he just leaves, like an idiot. He tries to think of how he could have handled that better, but all it results in is Fernando pushing him on his back and attacking his mouth and neck. That image alone just makes Sergio all fluttery and hot inside, it's indescribable and it irritates him. He's stressing himself out over the fact that he's so fucking confused and that he never gets confused, he's Sergio Ramos-the smartest student in his year.
Because he has an compulsive disorder, he knows that he won't go to sleep tonight until he finds who Re di Maggio's successor is. And perhaps what he should do over the fact that Fernando likes him.
*
Right before he enters the class Fernando tells himself not to search for him, but he ends up doing so.
He use to have History with Cesc, until he switched classes-because Sergio told him to before their incident happened, history would be much better that way. Fernando couldn't wait but now, he wishes he would have.
He sees him in the very back. His glasses are rid up on top of his hair and he's frowning down at his papers. He looks tired and Fernando feels guilty, because he knows he's the cause of that.
“Torres! Over here!”
The attention is drawn to him due to the loudness of one person he didn't think he would have this class with other than Sergio,-Steven Gerrard.
Fernando glances around as he makes his way up the steps, noticing that Sergio's is watching him-he doesn't dare return the gaze.
When he sits down he immediately starts talking, like he's perfectly okay.
“Hey, Steven!” he says a bit too enthusiastically.
Steven falters but recovers soon enough to give him a big grin. “Hey, Fer. You take this time slot now?”
“Yeah, I kinda switched.”
“Why?”
Fernando lets out a fake snort and shakes his head. “It's nothing important.”
“Well...” Steven starts until two students enter the class room, making him yell in excitement. “Jamie! Xab! LOOK WHO'S IN OUR CLASS!”
Cannavaro gives Steven a look that Fernando catches before Jamie and Xabi come to their row, laughing at how loud their friend gets.
“Hey, Nando.” Xabi says politely, sitting on his right while Steven and Jamie sit on his left.
“Hey, I haven't seen you in a while.” Fernando says.
“He's been cooped up in our dorm, glued to Steven all day.” Jamie says for him, throwing his textbooks on the table loudly.
Steven laughs innocently and Xabi reddens, but only Fernando notices it.
Jamie grabs one of the textbooks he threw down that has a red cover on it and turns in his chair.
“Ramos! Here's yer book back!”
Fernando heart skips a beat and he tries not to turn around. It already hurts to sit so far away from him.
He can already hear him walking down the steps and he just keeps his gaze to his tangled fingers, because he honestly has nothing else to look at-he doesn't.
“Thanks.”
His voice makes Fernando's cheeks burn.
Jamie stands and leans over them, because Sergio is standing by the end of their table. Before Sergio can walk away, Jamie speaks up.
“Hey, this is weird.” he says, and they all look at him. “Shouldn't you two be glued together as well?” he laughs and Steven joins him. Fernando gives a wry smile and looks back to his hands.
Sergio speaks for him. “He does have other friends, Carragher.” he says coldly, defensively. There's a awkward pause and then the sound of Sergio putting his glasses on-a sound Fernando knows perfectly well.
“I'll see you after class, Fernando.” Then he's walking back up the steps.
Fernando tunes out Jamie's profanity and replays what Sergio said, of them meeting after class. Fernando is worried because by the likes of it, Sergio doesn't sound too happy. And he can only imagine what Sergio is planning to say to him. Something like ending their friendship.
It's sad to think that way for Fernando, because Sergio is such a nice person, but he can't help but think that way when Sergio's cold voice is ringing in his ear.
*
This is the first lecture Sergio doesn't pay attention to. He can't because for some reason, he's so angered. Not about anyone else, but himself. He's doing everything wrong.
He's breathing wrong, he's doing his work wrong, he's putting his books in his messenger bag wrong-everything is wrong and it's ticking him off.
And now, as he faces Fernando in the hallway, he's glaring.
“..s-so..” Fernando starts, pathetically looking down and Sergio softens then, because he can't act such way towards Fernando.
“I'm sorry.” he says. “I..I shouldn't have left the way I did.”
Fernando frowns. “No, it's okay. I shouldn't had...kissed you.”
“No!, uhh, I mean, you did it on impulse.” Sergio blurts, without thinking. Fernando just stares at him. “W - When you like someone you can't control some of the things you do.” Sergio doesn't know what he's saying anymore, he's full blown embarrassed now and just blurting out facts he knows. But Fernando seems to equally be the same when he blushes and cracks a smile.
“Yeah..I - I guess.” he says. “So, um, are we cool now?”
Sergio nods. “Yeah. We've always been.”
There's a contentious moment when they both sigh at the same time, making them both laugh in the manner. Sergio suddenly feels lighter.
“Hey, uhh, do you want to go to my dorm afterwords?” Fernando asks once he's done laughing.
Sergio is having a hard time controlling his smile. “Yeah, sure.”
Then something triggers in him and his whole mood gets flipped over again. Go to Fernando's dorm afterwords?
“Actually, I - I can't. I have to go to Iker's.”
Fernando is visibly disappointed but he nods anyway. “Oh Okay then, I guess tomorro-”
“I have to go now, so, I'll see you some other time. Bye.” Sergio walks away and nearly trips over his shoe string but he keeps going.
His whole mind is racing over Fernando's dorm room, where that kiss took place, where Fernando wants him to be.
He doesn't know why it's giving him that hot fluttering sensation in his stomach again, but it's becoming unendurable. It's getting out of his control.
*
Fernando doesn't try to be too upset about it. He makes himself believe that Sergio really had to go at that moment, and not out of spite from being scared of the two of them alone together. But when he goes to Cesc's room after his classes-for some unknown reason to himself, he breaks down.
Cesc feeds him beer and sweets the entire time until he throws up and leaves.
*
“Why do you have so many melons?”
“You're not even listening to me.” Sergio says as Iker digs through his earlier lunch he bought.
Iker sighs and says, “I am I just, I don't understand why you keep running away. It's not like he has some sort of disease.”
“I know but,.. I'm starting to feel weird when I'm around him.” Sergio plays with the ends of his sweater, remembering the way his stomach felt.
Iker watches him from his seat on the floor, digging in Sergio's bag for whatever is edible-he doesn't feel like going to the store just yet.
“Well, I don't know what to tell ya.” Iker says, finding a half squished Snicker bar, but he unwraps it anyway. “Just..don't keep this up. You're bound to start making him feel bad if you do.”
Sergio nods and there's a perfect pout at his lips when he does. “Okay.” he mutters. He's never felt helpless before, ever. He always figures out whats wrong with things and it just upsets him that he can't even figure out whats wrong with himself-he should be able to. It's like there's a breeze coming from a direction he can't seem to grasp, though there's a direction sign right in front of him. It's like he's blind.
Iker stares at him for a while as he chews on the chocolate goodness. Then he swallows and raises his brows. “Can I ask you something?”
Sergio looks up with his glasses at the very edge of his nose. He doesn't bother pushing them forward. “Sure.”
Iker bits his bottom lip. “Don't laugh.”
“I won't?” Sergio says.
Iker frowns. “..Who the hell is Robin?”