Lesbian Sheep
Gender roles in heterosexual dating have been extensively studied. For example, Karl Grammer (1990) suggests that males use body language to signal dominance, whereas women's body language indicates both submission and "bodily self-presentation." Grammer (2000) points out ten years later that women seem to be in control of opposite-sex interactions, despite this role-play of submission.
Studies of gender roles in same-sex dating are rarer. Klinkenberg and Rose (1994) studied "dating scripts" for lesbians vs. gays, and found that "talk/laugh/joke" was an item mentioned by almost all participants, with no gender differences. However, the men's scripts mentioned only "self-initiated actions", whereas the several of the women's scripts mentioned "partner-initiated actions (e.g. 'partner picked me up')." Sergios and Cody (1985) found that "social assertiveness" had no effect on how likely a gay man was to request a subsequent date; only "physical attractiveness" influenced how much the subject "liked" their partner in this experiment.
It is tempting to use gay and lesbian experiences to confirm stereotypes about gendered behavior in dating. This weekend a friend told me about the concept of "lesbian sheep": "if you are a female sheep, what you do to solicit sex is stand still". This has led to "lesbian sheep" being a term to refer to any potentially sexual relationship where both parties wait for the other to act. This term is overwhelmingly used for female-female relationships, but not exclusively so. In my personal (and therefore meaningless) experience, I'd like to say that not all men know how to make the first move either (and I don't just mean me).
Studies of gender roles in same-sex dating are rarer. Klinkenberg and Rose (1994) studied "dating scripts" for lesbians vs. gays, and found that "talk/laugh/joke" was an item mentioned by almost all participants, with no gender differences. However, the men's scripts mentioned only "self-initiated actions", whereas the several of the women's scripts mentioned "partner-initiated actions (e.g. 'partner picked me up')." Sergios and Cody (1985) found that "social assertiveness" had no effect on how likely a gay man was to request a subsequent date; only "physical attractiveness" influenced how much the subject "liked" their partner in this experiment.
It is tempting to use gay and lesbian experiences to confirm stereotypes about gendered behavior in dating. This weekend a friend told me about the concept of "lesbian sheep": "if you are a female sheep, what you do to solicit sex is stand still". This has led to "lesbian sheep" being a term to refer to any potentially sexual relationship where both parties wait for the other to act. This term is overwhelmingly used for female-female relationships, but not exclusively so. In my personal (and therefore meaningless) experience, I'd like to say that not all men know how to make the first move either (and I don't just mean me).