*Megan* relativity.
So last week I had the Week From Hell but was too busy to write about it in all it's hilariously bad glory. So, now that I am one day removed from it all, I have decided that "bad," much in the spirit of my Nietzsche paper, is all relative and therefore my Week From Hell is from hell only in my mind. It could be a Week From Heaven with proper phrasing and good lighting. So, here is the Relativist's Week From Hell/Heaven, bulleted for your pleasure.
(Hell)
(Heaven)
Monday, April 17
~ Required to read original short story to a non-writing class.
~ Phone starts ringing during reading.
~ Library computer disconnects from University server right after I send two papers to printer. Neither turns up on printer, both lost.
~ Have minor mental breakdown in front of various library workers.
~ Phone masks large chunk of less-than-spectacular writing. Distracts class.
~ Assignment #1 of week over.
~ Eat pizza while working on second versions of two lost papers.
Tuesday, April 18
~ Pull all-nighter finishing Linguistic's Paper, go to class woozy, late, and without required manila envelope.
~ Crash on returning to apartment, sleep through two meal-times, Dominique's visit, and the YeahYeahYeah's concert.
~ Get much needed sleep.
~ Receive long, stapled note from Dominique filled with bad poetry about not answering the door.
~ Save on the week's grocery bills.
Wednesday, April 19
~ See stray dog almost hit by car, then run into dog catcher held up by traffic. Do not tell dog catcher where dog is hiding. Wonder about ethical ramifications for rest of day.
~ Loose just-finished Modern Familiar Essay paper when Comp Lab computer decides to suddenly reboot before allowing a save.
~ See dog miraculously sprint across five lanes of traffic without scratch. Allow it to stay free.(not that tampon)
~ Become motivated to continue work on MFE essay.
~ Decide stray dog may be fodder for future essay. Possibly on freedom. Or a con-rational thought argument.
Thursday, April 20
~ Rush to finish second version of MFE essay before work, leave out two ideas on accident.
~ Have to wake up early to clean apartment and move furniture away from walls for yearly bug spraying. Break bookshelf and hide disorder in the large closet.
~ After spraying, building manager opens crammed closet to let out cat, sees disorder.
~ Find out favorite co-worker is leaving.
~ Hit word-count exactly. Third big assignment of week done.
~ Class cancelled, don't have to rush to work.
~ Didn't get a note from building manager about mess. Assumed all is good.
~ Apartment desperately needed cleaning.
~ Didn't like that bookshelf anyway.
~ Cat not cramped in closet for long.
Friday, April 21
~ Almost get run over by police car speeding down the sidewalk.
~ Get asked by very hot guy to a lakeside party and have to refuse in favor of work.
~Step on rusty nail.
~ Get very good story to tell when watching stray dog chased by two police cars running down Dodge Street and then into Memorial Park. Dog looked very happy. Saw car accident caused by drivers shocked to see police driving through Memorial Park.
~ Decide that very hot guy has freaky resemblance to an ex and is therefore off-limits.
~ Confirm wonderfully accute reflexes after stepping on rusty nail, puncture only the outer layer of recently, purposefully hardened feet.
Saturday, April 22
~ Wake up to severe facial bleeding. Spend all day seeing a red blur in front of things.
~ Spend day relating another good story to co-workers about cat's lack of grace. Have strangers act really nice as soon as they see the right side of face.
Sunday, April 23
~ Realize that cat is now bloodthirsty wild animal.
~ Receive informative scar-minimizing tips from large number of people.
~ Become amazed on body's healing abilities, red blur now pink.
So far Monday's looking good. Somewhat expecting a car accident or something. There is still time.
The cat thing was pretty funny. She tried to wake me up like normal, by purring loudly and patting my face with the pads on her paw, but I guess she forgot that I had just moved the furniture, so she fell off the bed. On trying to catch herself, one claw caught my nose and ripped it along the largest part, on the right side. Very effective way to wake someone up.
(Hell)
(Heaven)
Monday, April 17
~ Required to read original short story to a non-writing class.
~ Phone starts ringing during reading.
~ Library computer disconnects from University server right after I send two papers to printer. Neither turns up on printer, both lost.
~ Have minor mental breakdown in front of various library workers.
~ Phone masks large chunk of less-than-spectacular writing. Distracts class.
~ Assignment #1 of week over.
~ Eat pizza while working on second versions of two lost papers.
Tuesday, April 18
~ Pull all-nighter finishing Linguistic's Paper, go to class woozy, late, and without required manila envelope.
~ Crash on returning to apartment, sleep through two meal-times, Dominique's visit, and the YeahYeahYeah's concert.
~ Get much needed sleep.
~ Receive long, stapled note from Dominique filled with bad poetry about not answering the door.
~ Save on the week's grocery bills.
Wednesday, April 19
~ See stray dog almost hit by car, then run into dog catcher held up by traffic. Do not tell dog catcher where dog is hiding. Wonder about ethical ramifications for rest of day.
~ Loose just-finished Modern Familiar Essay paper when Comp Lab computer decides to suddenly reboot before allowing a save.
~ See dog miraculously sprint across five lanes of traffic without scratch. Allow it to stay free.(not that tampon)
~ Become motivated to continue work on MFE essay.
~ Decide stray dog may be fodder for future essay. Possibly on freedom. Or a con-rational thought argument.
Thursday, April 20
~ Rush to finish second version of MFE essay before work, leave out two ideas on accident.
~ Have to wake up early to clean apartment and move furniture away from walls for yearly bug spraying. Break bookshelf and hide disorder in the large closet.
~ After spraying, building manager opens crammed closet to let out cat, sees disorder.
~ Find out favorite co-worker is leaving.
~ Hit word-count exactly. Third big assignment of week done.
~ Class cancelled, don't have to rush to work.
~ Didn't get a note from building manager about mess. Assumed all is good.
~ Apartment desperately needed cleaning.
~ Didn't like that bookshelf anyway.
~ Cat not cramped in closet for long.
Friday, April 21
~ Almost get run over by police car speeding down the sidewalk.
~ Get asked by very hot guy to a lakeside party and have to refuse in favor of work.
~Step on rusty nail.
~ Get very good story to tell when watching stray dog chased by two police cars running down Dodge Street and then into Memorial Park. Dog looked very happy. Saw car accident caused by drivers shocked to see police driving through Memorial Park.
~ Decide that very hot guy has freaky resemblance to an ex and is therefore off-limits.
~ Confirm wonderfully accute reflexes after stepping on rusty nail, puncture only the outer layer of recently, purposefully hardened feet.
Saturday, April 22
~ Wake up to severe facial bleeding. Spend all day seeing a red blur in front of things.
~ Spend day relating another good story to co-workers about cat's lack of grace. Have strangers act really nice as soon as they see the right side of face.
Sunday, April 23
~ Realize that cat is now bloodthirsty wild animal.
~ Receive informative scar-minimizing tips from large number of people.
~ Become amazed on body's healing abilities, red blur now pink.
So far Monday's looking good. Somewhat expecting a car accident or something. There is still time.
The cat thing was pretty funny. She tried to wake me up like normal, by purring loudly and patting my face with the pads on her paw, but I guess she forgot that I had just moved the furniture, so she fell off the bed. On trying to catch herself, one claw caught my nose and ripped it along the largest part, on the right side. Very effective way to wake someone up.