(no subject)
Hey, look, second post on the same fucking day!
Whoda god damned thunk it.
I'm aching inside, and I'm angry, and partially drunk. Micah's not the only one who gets violent on rum, it seems.
Nnnnnnnnnn... I just wanna hurt something, right now, tear it open and rip out its innards and feast on them, to feel the blood drip from my chin along with the gore and whatever else exists on the insides, I want to break bone and rip apart muscle, eat veins like they were strangs of spaghetti, chew on tendons and tear apart the carcass and spread it around my room and write the words I feel on the walls in blood, my own and whoever elses I can get my hands on.
I want to curl up in a corner of my room and sob, expell all this greif and sorrow, stay like that untill I feel hollow and empty and broken and tired and then I could sleep, and never wake, locked in my own world where nothing can hurt me.
It's better there.
On the inside, deep in my mind exists a world of soaring illusions, streaming lies that wrap me round and keep me safe and warm and loved, where I am a god and a normal person, all and nothing, hate and love. ...
RIP TEAR HATE RAGE BLEED CRY SCREAM RAGE SHATTER BREAK HOLLOW COLD EMPTY FEAR BLOOD LOSS DROP REAL
ILLUSION RED HEAL LIVE DIE DECAY RENEW.
I HATE THIS, I HATE IT ALL, I WAMT IT ALL TO DIE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!
THIS IS NOW OF THE EDITED PART BELOW.
Now I'm breathing heavily and I can't see straight for the tears, and it burns, like nothing else.
I'm being selfish. I only want ME to hurt, I want everyone to look at ME but I can't stand the FUCKING ATTENTION. God! I hate this, I hate myself, and I hate everyone else so god damned much.
"/embraces/ T_T it's okay to want attention, to be selfish, because you gotta be like that at some point right?"
Possibly, but god. It hurts. I dont wanna feel like this. I shouldm't feel like this. I said I wouldn't! I promised! I made the promise! I said we'd be normal again, friends, family! I can do this, right? I can stop this feeling and go back to normalcy, right? It'll be okay?
... God, I hope it'll be okay.
Whoda god damned thunk it.
I'm aching inside, and I'm angry, and partially drunk. Micah's not the only one who gets violent on rum, it seems.
Nnnnnnnnnn... I just wanna hurt something, right now, tear it open and rip out its innards and feast on them, to feel the blood drip from my chin along with the gore and whatever else exists on the insides, I want to break bone and rip apart muscle, eat veins like they were strangs of spaghetti, chew on tendons and tear apart the carcass and spread it around my room and write the words I feel on the walls in blood, my own and whoever elses I can get my hands on.
I want to curl up in a corner of my room and sob, expell all this greif and sorrow, stay like that untill I feel hollow and empty and broken and tired and then I could sleep, and never wake, locked in my own world where nothing can hurt me.
It's better there.
On the inside, deep in my mind exists a world of soaring illusions, streaming lies that wrap me round and keep me safe and warm and loved, where I am a god and a normal person, all and nothing, hate and love. ...
RIP TEAR HATE RAGE BLEED CRY SCREAM RAGE SHATTER BREAK HOLLOW COLD EMPTY FEAR BLOOD LOSS DROP REAL
ILLUSION RED HEAL LIVE DIE DECAY RENEW.
I HATE THIS, I HATE IT ALL, I WAMT IT ALL TO DIE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!
THIS IS NOW OF THE EDITED PART BELOW.
Now I'm breathing heavily and I can't see straight for the tears, and it burns, like nothing else.
I'm being selfish. I only want ME to hurt, I want everyone to look at ME but I can't stand the FUCKING ATTENTION. God! I hate this, I hate myself, and I hate everyone else so god damned much.
"/embraces/ T_T it's okay to want attention, to be selfish, because you gotta be like that at some point right?"
Possibly, but god. It hurts. I dont wanna feel like this. I shouldm't feel like this. I said I wouldn't! I promised! I made the promise! I said we'd be normal again, friends, family! I can do this, right? I can stop this feeling and go back to normalcy, right? It'll be okay?
... God, I hope it'll be okay.