Dear Suits fanfiction writers:

[dietpunkfics]

I’ve been noticing something, and I really gotta set y’all straight on this.

If a guy comes in his pants, the pants are not ruined.

Your dry cleaner will be squicked, and possibly hate you for it, but they’re not ruined.

So please stop with the ‘oh these pants are ruined’ schtick, k?

Now, ties, that’s a different story, due to the silk being far more delicate…

But seriously.

pants + splooge =/= ruined pants

Thanks,

a former drycleaning employee