I suck my tongue, in remembrance of you.
It's 12:16 am now, technically Sunday. For this sake of this entry though, let us just call it my "Saturday" night.
I'm still deciding whether to go out or not. I was just invited to go out by some friends of mine to places I really have not even the minimal desire of arriving to. So, I decided to stay in, pop open my bottle of Pinot Grigio, listen to Björk, and hop onto LJ.
Today, a friend, whom I have kept at bay emotionally for some time now, has performed an old trick that made me keep him away in the first place; Display disloyalty. The action done was so trivial, you would think I'm absolutely nuts to even entertain it. However, the intention is what strikes sharp, like a knife.
Listen. I'm 29 years old, and I no longer have the patience, nor the energy to even indulge in these situations anymore. For circumstances beyond our past experiences, I decided to maintain the friendship to be of support and aid. The difference now, is time has passed and those circumstances have found some closure, since a ready resolution was unattainable. Prior to this incident, the dynamic slowly shifted into a negative energy recently, and I knew I had to cease any further effort to figure out the cause. I decided to step back because I had assessed within myself, if this friendship was worth giving it the time, and my instinct decided ferociously against it.
I've played with fire too many times to keep healing those achy wounds. It sure as hell won't happen again.
This wine got me lightheaded, so I don't know if I should still go out. There's this spot I want to visit, so I'll make an effort to check it out. If it's not what I expected, I'll gladly come back home. Laundry is done, my bed is done, and tomorrow I will clean the apartment. I'm kind of excited these are tasks on my "to-do" list. God knows I have way more fun doing these things than dealing with people.
Signing off now.
Good night. xx
I'm still deciding whether to go out or not. I was just invited to go out by some friends of mine to places I really have not even the minimal desire of arriving to. So, I decided to stay in, pop open my bottle of Pinot Grigio, listen to Björk, and hop onto LJ.
Today, a friend, whom I have kept at bay emotionally for some time now, has performed an old trick that made me keep him away in the first place; Display disloyalty. The action done was so trivial, you would think I'm absolutely nuts to even entertain it. However, the intention is what strikes sharp, like a knife.
Listen. I'm 29 years old, and I no longer have the patience, nor the energy to even indulge in these situations anymore. For circumstances beyond our past experiences, I decided to maintain the friendship to be of support and aid. The difference now, is time has passed and those circumstances have found some closure, since a ready resolution was unattainable. Prior to this incident, the dynamic slowly shifted into a negative energy recently, and I knew I had to cease any further effort to figure out the cause. I decided to step back because I had assessed within myself, if this friendship was worth giving it the time, and my instinct decided ferociously against it.
I've played with fire too many times to keep healing those achy wounds. It sure as hell won't happen again.
This wine got me lightheaded, so I don't know if I should still go out. There's this spot I want to visit, so I'll make an effort to check it out. If it's not what I expected, I'll gladly come back home. Laundry is done, my bed is done, and tomorrow I will clean the apartment. I'm kind of excited these are tasks on my "to-do" list. God knows I have way more fun doing these things than dealing with people.
Signing off now.
Good night. xx