(no subject)
So I went to TTA, and I didn't make it past the screening audition. I was real upset because I got passed on last year and I thought I did a much better job this year. I feel bad about crying in front of my classmates and teachers and I feel embarrassed that i'll have to face my friends from out of town when they come in to audition for SETC and tell them that I didn't make it through a screening audition. I just feel a lot of doubt. I haven't had an audition that didn't at least partially go my way in a long time. I think that was part of it.
But I had a good time with people in Jackson. I got some good work done on my monologue for sure, and I felt like I got to know some of the second year students a bit better. I'm also not feeling completely horrible because Rex said some good things about my pieces and even if he was just saying them to cheer me up - he still said them, and compliments mean so much to me coming from him.
I'm almost a little pissed off, I think. At the TTA people, that is. Maybe I shouldn't be but they're the easiest targets. Because last year my audition was so presentational ("look at me i am GORGEOUS!") and this year I was working on going inside - for real - and I thought I did a pretty good job, but I don't think thats what they were looking for. Or maybe I just didn't accomplish what I had been working on. I don't know. But I started having some serious questions because if presentational acting is going to get me work - what do I do? Do I go back to that? Do I stick with what i'm doing?
No more doubts, though. I felt good about my audition and the work I have done in this program so far. I've learned so much from Rex and Sherry and Garry and Sarah and even from Ann and I just feel like if I keep working like this, I can't fail. So there.
But I had a good time with people in Jackson. I got some good work done on my monologue for sure, and I felt like I got to know some of the second year students a bit better. I'm also not feeling completely horrible because Rex said some good things about my pieces and even if he was just saying them to cheer me up - he still said them, and compliments mean so much to me coming from him.
I'm almost a little pissed off, I think. At the TTA people, that is. Maybe I shouldn't be but they're the easiest targets. Because last year my audition was so presentational ("look at me i am GORGEOUS!") and this year I was working on going inside - for real - and I thought I did a pretty good job, but I don't think thats what they were looking for. Or maybe I just didn't accomplish what I had been working on. I don't know. But I started having some serious questions because if presentational acting is going to get me work - what do I do? Do I go back to that? Do I stick with what i'm doing?
No more doubts, though. I felt good about my audition and the work I have done in this program so far. I've learned so much from Rex and Sherry and Garry and Sarah and even from Ann and I just feel like if I keep working like this, I can't fail. So there.