LOVESLESS FIC: JUST HOLD BACK. PART C.
Read part A.
Read Part B.
part c.
I apologize for the use of japanese words. But I love them too much to shy away from using them.
Oi -- Hey.
Ano -- Uhm, hm.
Hai -- yes.
Nani -- what.
I’m a bad friend.
Those were the words spilling around and around in Kio’s mind; I’m a bad friend, I’m a bad friend, I’m a bad friend . . .
He wished Soubi would say something, anything. But Soubi hadn’t said a word, standing there before Kio in the corridor. Just what was it he was thinking now? Was he angry with Kio? Disappointed? Or was he thinking about Seimei now, always Seimei; and was he worried about what would happen once he bid farewell to Kio and returned to his master? Or was he . . . longing to go back?
“I did interrupt something, didn’t I,” Kio said suddenly, and Soubi’s eyes flickered up to him.
“. . . nani?”
“When I first came over,” Kio explained, wishing he could hold back the urgency in his voice. Why did it hurt so much to speak such thoughts aloud? “Was he saying something bad to you?”
Soubi’s face registered a small touch of surprise; and just by that slight change of emotion did his flesh enliven beautifully. He laughed, softly; and ran his long fingers through his hair in such a lovely manner.
“Ah, Kio, do you always have to think the worst of Seimei?”
Kio regarded his companion skeptically.
“Can you come up with a single reason for me not to? I’m not particularly thrilled each night when I have to clean your blood off the floor because of his twisted ideals - whatever they are.”
“Kio,” Soubi said, his voice lower now, “Seimei isn’t twisted.”
“Yes - he is,” Kio replied adamantly, “and so are you for complying with him so easily. He treats you like a dog, Sou-chan - there’s nothing beautiful about that. It’s disgusting. And degrading. You -- . . . you deserve more than that,” he whispered. Why was it so hard to just let things be as Soubi wanted them to be? Why couldn’t Kio just stay away? Stop making things so difficult . . .
Kio’s eyes flickered up to Soubi, hesitantly. And he was startled by what he saw before him, trapped upon Soubi’s face.
Just what . . . was this yearning locked within the shadows of Soubi’s eyes?So forlorn . . . Kio longed to know; to touch Soubi’s mouth with his fingers - to part his lips and allow those words to pour forth.
Kio realized suddenly that he wanted very badly to kiss Soubi. But then he thought that if Seimei kissed Soubi later during the night, that he would taste the flavor of Kio’s chuppa on Soubi’s lips and might become very angry with him.
So Kio held back, feeling his fingers tingle as they dangled by his sides - perhaps he could just touch Soubi? Just a little?
He gave a begrudging sigh.
“Alright, Sou-chan,” he complied in defeat. He was beginning to realize just how tired he felt inside. Soubi looked tired too, but Soubi’s master was still at home with him, so he would not be getting sleep tonight until Seimei chose to leave.
‘Bastard,’ Kio bit back the word, tasting the bile of hatred linger upon his tongue instead.
He did touch Soubi now, just a small gesture, reaching out with his right hand to give a faint tug on the cuff of Soubi’s sleeve.
‘Soubi . . . I love you, Soubi.’
But instead he said:
“Leave the door unlocked tonight,”
He turned away before he could catch sight of Soubi’s expression. It would hurt too much to see the pliant innocence dimming Soubi’s eyes.
Kio tucked his hands in his pockets, allowing his last words to drift over his shoulder, ”I’ll be coming over later to fix up what’s left of you.”
( I just want to just let you know that I did add a few of my own personal touches in this story. I want to make them clear so no one mistakens them for cannon.
[+]: I do not know how Seimei would interact with Kio, or visa versa. I do not know if Seimei disliked Kio or not; or if he ever hurt Soubi because of Kio. The way I portrayed Seimei was from Kio's point of view, written the way I wanted it. It is not cannon. )
Thank you so much for reading!!!
p.s. remind me to never write a three-part story again. -_-