2:00am

[dieselraver]

so here i am sitting in the double tree enjoying a seltzer (lime) on the rocks, wondering what it will be like going back home this weekend. i have to admit i am a bit homesick, miss seeing people and friends and family...but in a sense, i love it here, yet i feel that there is more to my life and existence than going home and doing the same routine every week, 3 days of work, a day to relax, go out with my mom, do stuff around the house, hit up the clubs/night lounges, etc. etc... life seems so dull and uninteresting. while i am sick of working out here, im not sure if its the new people, or just the location of this new store, i have come to learn that there are things about me that i can change that i will change, those things are not to be revealed yet but soon enough i shall do what is necessary. I have thought about buying a new car when i get back, im not a needy person, nor do i need a big flashy car, especially the way cars "disappear" back in new york, i wouldn't mind getting myself something fun to drive, either a sporty or fast car, however im sure the insurance would suck, not to mention that i like to drive fast as proved by my speeding ticket today. its 2:03 am and im sitting here wondering what to do... i mean sleep is calling but its not here yet and i feel that i need to sit down with some friends and discuss life and what i want to do. i know i am talented and highly intelligent, but i have yet to use those skills towards something that challenges me, i can honestly say that being a pharmacist is not challenging enough, there is no "wow i have to use my brain for this" role in pharmacy, i find that using your brain is a luxury many of us do not have, most people go through life using about 5% of their potential and that's the honest truth, i mean honestly, when i go into some of these stores, and i see just how slow some of the cashiers are and they cant figure out what the heck to do it baffles me, like the one time i bought some toner cartridges at staples, the guy handed the girl 85 dollars to ring up his copier/scanner thing, she accidentally hit 58 dollars.... she was clueless she paged a manager, was like uh oh i don't know what i did.. i was like, just enter the difference so they add up to 85 dollars.... i got a look that said, dude i so have no clue how to even go about doing that... i just told her, enter $27.00 and the change will be correct... after about 3 minutes of waiting she finally did it and thanked me.. GOD! what's up with that, i mean hell if you smoke its all good, but if your just naturally dumb i don't know what to tell you.. you will be spending your life at mc Donald's frying hash browns and cooking egg mcmuffins. my mind is swimming with all these thoughts and ideas and goals yet i have yet to accomplish the ones that are important. i have enjoyed my stay out in cali, but I think NY is calling me...

"Enjoy life while in the moment and always be thankful of the ones you come across, for your presence will carry on throughout your life as well as theirs and transpire on to others they come across."

i think that giving a good impression on people in your lifetime achieves a lot, this one store that i was in, i couldn't stand being there because of the attitudes of everyone, i am someone who absorbs energy and the karma people produce, if your karma is horrid and dark and miserable, that is what you will get from me, however if you are someone who radiates life and energy and love and friendship i will duly respond with the same

I think im done ranting for now, id love to here comments :)