Denise's Hen night in Edinburgh
I'm really tired and it's about 1 in the morning, but i need to document what happened at Denise's hen night, so here it is - evidence of what we had done. i apologise in advance for my terrible writing..
--
So I was in Edinburgh again, as the boy took me to Lundun Links, a town nearby for my birthday getaway the weekend before (was going to blog about it, but the time passed and it's too late!) Edinburgh is lovely. What's even more lovely is when Denise is there, because she used to study there and knows all the clubs and places to go. She rented us two wonderful serviced apartments in the centre of the Royal mile, and we were ready to party almost immediately.
There must've been about 15 people there, and we all arrived at various times on Friday evening. My train was surprisingly on time, and not too crowded, and I was pleasantly surprised to meet about 4 people at the station to pick me up! Denise had dragged all the arrivees outside for the craic. At first, it was a whirl of people, but slowly, I began to recognise them. I had met many of them over the years, sometimes even more than once. It takes some time for me to remember people, but I get there...eventually. I am pleased to say at in my middle age (or late twenties), I am getting better at people and faces.
We walked back to the apartment, just 5 minutes away from the train station. We spent a civilised evening scoffing wine and getting to know each other all over again, when the other car of folks arrived. Apparently, the car broke down about 30 mins from Edinburgh, but the tow truck took ages and I heard that the driver was a bit psycho. Then we just starting drinking and playing pass the parcel! Yes, someone actually made a parcel full of presents at each unwrapping and with no forfeits! When i think about the crap i went through playing that game as a kid i marvel at how nice the UK version is.
Passing the parcel and insulting all men all at once!
At some point we decided to make Denise drink all the time, but I forgot why.. anyway, she puked, we managed to get chocolate sauce over ourselves... there was some licking going on...
The next day, we all got out of bed and prepared for Pony trekking! But first we had to embarrass Denise as much as we could by dressing her up as a cowgirl and parading her in the streets.
I don't think it worked though. She still looked gorgeous.
Mounting the horse the cheating way. I love the way we all got to play with horses with none of the bruises!
This is Snikers, my horse. She was so sweet and gentle and nuzzled me after the trek. Bless.
Our horses were so greedy. They kept on trying to eat all the grass and leaves and we had to hold on to the reins tight to prevent them from moving their heads towards the leaves. My horse, when stopped to wait for the others, reversed to get to the leaves behind us despite my desperate attempts at controlling her. Naughty!
After that, we stumbled home, had our naps and prepared for our night out.
Denise is looking good, even with all the cheesy stuff we made her wear.
Looking strangely wholesome despite our best efforts
Ok... Not so wholesome! (Phil)
Katie, Denise, Caz and Amy
Amy, Dawn, Tim and Leanne.
Yes, Denise's hen night contained 4 boys! two were gay, two were straight, 3 were called 'Phil' and all were perfect gentlemen. :)
Rachel, Michelle & Sarah
We went to George Street for drinks - and there were really quite lovely bars there. However, a couple starting rejecting the group as they were not friendly to hen nights... so Denise suggested that we go to a very cheesy club which was populated by Chavs. And why not? We could misbehave with the best of them!
Phil (or Pip), Leanne and Katie
In the club.. they made us wear wristbands. Shock horror.
Katie, Caz, Amy,Sarah- I have no idea what we were laughing at. It must have been the little sluts and whores who were parading around.
However, our night in the club didn't end nicely. Two random sluts starting picking a fight with two girls in our group and even though Phil and Phil managed to smooth it over, they ran after Leanne instead and start pointing at her aggressively... for staring! Leanne raises her hands in submission and backs away, but the girls continue walking towards her and then one of the girls grabs her hair and pulls her until Leanne falls down! OMG! Common assault!
Leanne gets the bouncers and they throw the two sluts out of the club. But when Leanne goes out for some air, the girls are lurking around, waiting for her and run towards her screeching and threatening to beat her up. At this point she takes advice from the bouncer, who comments that those girls are trouble, and the police are called. The girls try to leave by taking a cab, but the bouncers hem them into a corner and prevent them, and the police come and take statements from the sober ones.
I was sober as I thought at least one of us should be (in the end, due to the drama, too many of us were), and so I had the dubious pleasure of giving the police my statement. I've learnt that when you speak to the police, you should treat them like you're claiming insurance. Your story must be consistent and detailed. If you make one mistake, they will disregard your statement. They rejected a couple of statements from the others because they were a little drunk, and rejected another because they were contradictory. Mine got through, and by the force of my statement, the witness, and Leanne, the victim, we got the bitch arrested!
TAKE THAT, SUCKER!!!!
The night ended with us returning to the flat and partying there... I mean, chilling out. For some reason we started talking about hair straighteners, and then it popped into Denise's head that we should straighten Phil's hair. I think it took an hour and he was very, very, patient... and pretended not to hear when I got the scissors out and starting cutting off the bits of hair that was untangleable. We taught him how to say 'Jian' ('cut' in Chinese) and whenever we told him to say it, we cut his hair.
Denise, Me and Leanne (and her GHDs) with the unfortunate lamb.
The finished result at about 4 in the morning. Doesn't he look rather holy?
And that was it. An action packed hen night! Animals, boys, crime and hair.
Love you Denise!
--
So I was in Edinburgh again, as the boy took me to Lundun Links, a town nearby for my birthday getaway the weekend before (was going to blog about it, but the time passed and it's too late!) Edinburgh is lovely. What's even more lovely is when Denise is there, because she used to study there and knows all the clubs and places to go. She rented us two wonderful serviced apartments in the centre of the Royal mile, and we were ready to party almost immediately.
There must've been about 15 people there, and we all arrived at various times on Friday evening. My train was surprisingly on time, and not too crowded, and I was pleasantly surprised to meet about 4 people at the station to pick me up! Denise had dragged all the arrivees outside for the craic. At first, it was a whirl of people, but slowly, I began to recognise them. I had met many of them over the years, sometimes even more than once. It takes some time for me to remember people, but I get there...eventually. I am pleased to say at in my middle age (or late twenties), I am getting better at people and faces.
We walked back to the apartment, just 5 minutes away from the train station. We spent a civilised evening scoffing wine and getting to know each other all over again, when the other car of folks arrived. Apparently, the car broke down about 30 mins from Edinburgh, but the tow truck took ages and I heard that the driver was a bit psycho. Then we just starting drinking and playing pass the parcel! Yes, someone actually made a parcel full of presents at each unwrapping and with no forfeits! When i think about the crap i went through playing that game as a kid i marvel at how nice the UK version is.
Passing the parcel and insulting all men all at once!
At some point we decided to make Denise drink all the time, but I forgot why.. anyway, she puked, we managed to get chocolate sauce over ourselves... there was some licking going on...
The next day, we all got out of bed and prepared for Pony trekking! But first we had to embarrass Denise as much as we could by dressing her up as a cowgirl and parading her in the streets.
I don't think it worked though. She still looked gorgeous.
Mounting the horse the cheating way. I love the way we all got to play with horses with none of the bruises!
This is Snikers, my horse. She was so sweet and gentle and nuzzled me after the trek. Bless.
Our horses were so greedy. They kept on trying to eat all the grass and leaves and we had to hold on to the reins tight to prevent them from moving their heads towards the leaves. My horse, when stopped to wait for the others, reversed to get to the leaves behind us despite my desperate attempts at controlling her. Naughty!
After that, we stumbled home, had our naps and prepared for our night out.
Denise is looking good, even with all the cheesy stuff we made her wear.
Looking strangely wholesome despite our best efforts
Ok... Not so wholesome! (Phil)
Katie, Denise, Caz and Amy
Amy, Dawn, Tim and Leanne.
Yes, Denise's hen night contained 4 boys! two were gay, two were straight, 3 were called 'Phil' and all were perfect gentlemen. :)
Rachel, Michelle & Sarah
We went to George Street for drinks - and there were really quite lovely bars there. However, a couple starting rejecting the group as they were not friendly to hen nights... so Denise suggested that we go to a very cheesy club which was populated by Chavs. And why not? We could misbehave with the best of them!
Phil (or Pip), Leanne and Katie
In the club.. they made us wear wristbands. Shock horror.
Katie, Caz, Amy,Sarah- I have no idea what we were laughing at. It must have been the little sluts and whores who were parading around.
However, our night in the club didn't end nicely. Two random sluts starting picking a fight with two girls in our group and even though Phil and Phil managed to smooth it over, they ran after Leanne instead and start pointing at her aggressively... for staring! Leanne raises her hands in submission and backs away, but the girls continue walking towards her and then one of the girls grabs her hair and pulls her until Leanne falls down! OMG! Common assault!
Leanne gets the bouncers and they throw the two sluts out of the club. But when Leanne goes out for some air, the girls are lurking around, waiting for her and run towards her screeching and threatening to beat her up. At this point she takes advice from the bouncer, who comments that those girls are trouble, and the police are called. The girls try to leave by taking a cab, but the bouncers hem them into a corner and prevent them, and the police come and take statements from the sober ones.
I was sober as I thought at least one of us should be (in the end, due to the drama, too many of us were), and so I had the dubious pleasure of giving the police my statement. I've learnt that when you speak to the police, you should treat them like you're claiming insurance. Your story must be consistent and detailed. If you make one mistake, they will disregard your statement. They rejected a couple of statements from the others because they were a little drunk, and rejected another because they were contradictory. Mine got through, and by the force of my statement, the witness, and Leanne, the victim, we got the bitch arrested!
TAKE THAT, SUCKER!!!!
The night ended with us returning to the flat and partying there... I mean, chilling out. For some reason we started talking about hair straighteners, and then it popped into Denise's head that we should straighten Phil's hair. I think it took an hour and he was very, very, patient... and pretended not to hear when I got the scissors out and starting cutting off the bits of hair that was untangleable. We taught him how to say 'Jian' ('cut' in Chinese) and whenever we told him to say it, we cut his hair.
Denise, Me and Leanne (and her GHDs) with the unfortunate lamb.
The finished result at about 4 in the morning. Doesn't he look rather holy?
And that was it. An action packed hen night! Animals, boys, crime and hair.
Love you Denise!