It's been a while.

[dierre101]

I would really like to understand how other people manage to stay motivated tbh. I just have no desire to do anything remotely productive. Which might explain why I’m updating this instead of finishing my Media assignment that was due yesterday. It’s also basically taken me a month to update on here… so it also explains that.

A bit has actually happened, which is actually quite surprising, considering y’know I don’t have a life just ask any of the helpful adults in my life.

Just for the record, I have perfectly good reasons for being bitter. I just got back from seeing my psychologist last week on Wednesday and even though she made me a hot chocolate I’m still kind of pissed at her ngl. I mean if someone can’t win me over with a hot chocolate there is basically no hope left in the world for them I’m js.

No um, she just pissed me off so much the last time I saw her I wanted to throw lawn furniture. In fact, she’s lucky I didn’t okay. Because obviously, there was a whole bunch of lawn furniture in her office to just… throw at her.

I never actually got to talking about it when it happened, because I’m a lazy mofo, but basically the bitch abandoned all morals she once had and went in for the kill last time I saw her. Apparently she decided that because it was my last week of holidays she had to be a horrible person to get results and get my head in the game. Honestly? I think she’s been sniffing too much paint because idk how else she thought that was going to work.

She sat there in her high and mighty thrown and tried to squash the little bit of hope of success I had left. Not just that, but she accused me of being a fucking liar countless times, just because that’s what Deb said. I’m sorry, but anyone who listens to what that thing has to say, and then takes it seriously deserves to sit there and melt in their own delusion. But just in case that wasn’t enough she had to make it even better by sitting there and telling me I blame all my problems on everyone else and that I’m using all this so I don’t have to think about the future. I don’t think I can even put my anger into words at this point…

Apart from that though, I think I’ve been doing pretty damn good. For me anyway. I’ve been contacting all my teachers myself, doing most of my homework on time and I’ve only taken two days off. One due to sickness, and another for a dentist appointment. The day that I did get sent home from the doctor with a sick certificate that said I didn’t have to do I went anyway. Fair effort I think??

Which reminds of what happened after my dentist appointment two weeks ago. I hadn’t been eating for like three weeks, I still don’t actually know why but I suspect it was stress. So I was like cranky as all fuq, and weak, so going to the dentist only succeeded in exhausting me to my very limits. Then to top it all off they had to tighten my braces and make my jaw ache.

I *tried* to communicate all this to Steve in the car and got fucking chewed out to all filth. I don’t remember exactly what happened because I make a habit of blocking it out, but he said some fucking nasty ass stuff. I won’t hold on to it or use it against him but I also don’t think it’s something I’ll be able to forget for a while.

In some lighter news I got to go out with Mitch for my birthday on the 27th of July. My actual birthday was the 25th but they made me go to school so. But I’m just glad I got to spent time with him tbh and it was definitely enjoyable.

We got there at like 10:30 in the morning on a school day, so that was interesting. His mother kicked him out on the opposite side of the road to where we were parked so I had to wait for him to stagger across the intersection so we could make our way into the mall. Meanwhile I stood next to like the gayest rainbow sign ever and I was just like omg how fitting.

Then when we actually entered the main street of the mall it was so insanely empty. We had to be the youngest ones there… and the shortest ngl.

So went to the food court and sat at a table at the back and of course we sat at the table right next to the picture with the giant boobs. Pre sure she wasn’t wearing a bra either, I’m js.

Then we went to get sundaes from maccas and omg there were so many Asian people in there Mitch thought I was going to pass out. I have self-restraint okay… lawd. Not a lot, but still.
It didn’t help that we had a whole conversations about jizz and anime figurines the night before I am js. But we basically sat there the whole time eating sundaes and telling cum jokes. Which to be fair is hard not to do okay. Get it, get it… hard? Sorry… I’ll stop. Um. Could be why the food court emptied so fast tho?

The girls that did stay I stared at shamelessly at though apparently. There was one particular girl that sat diagonally across from us and she was so hot omg. She kept looking back too!
Except idk if that was because she liked what she saw... or she was creeped out at me staring...

Anyway, then we went to Morning Glory so I could buy stuff and creep on some Korean girls! Das how we do ya'know.

I managed to actually buy some good stuff this time though without getting toungetied as all hell. Well... it was still awkward, but I managed.

I actually ended up getting like 12 Infinite posters and this happened:




... I think I have a problem...

I also got three new Kpop CDs! I got 4Minute's Volume Up, because contrary to popular belief I actually do not hate 4Minute (the more you know!?). No I actually really enjoy their music and the cover is really pretty imo. I also finally got a copy of Infinitize which i've been meaning to get forever, but just never got around to it. I'm terrible to my bias group I know /flips hair. I also got Junsu's album, and the packaging is just flawless okay. He is such a fab queen and it's just... Junsu's album is actually kind of like what I expected Jo Kwon to put out but it rly didn't happen. Whatever, Junsu enjoys when people call him gay so that's like literally all that matters.




While i'm on the topic of Kpop albums tho actually, I also bought GLAM's debut single from YesAsia a few weeks back. I swear to God, I am madly in love with them okay. I've been madly in love from the moment I saw their lyrics/heard their song actually. Atm, they're basically one of my favorite girl groups, second only to 2NE1. I know it seems that it's a bit fast to be falling in love with a group that fast, but it feels like Double A 2.0 to me... except the girl version. I mean just check these lyrics okay:

'Can I kiss ya baby girl?', 'Are you a boy? Girl? I don’t care - passion is the key, a hot heart is your ID', 'Girl I like ya really really like ya', 'A Kiss XXO, anyone can be a Romeo', 'Because we break the rules, we dodge the rules. Got the right to break the wall - everyone move. Opposition for opposition won’t work - take off the blindfold that covers your eyes.(Be confident) We’re a minority (Fling it off) We’re ET that came to earth.'

I actually screamed when I heard 'Can I kiss you baby girl?' and then I actually cried and got legit emotional. This is such a huge step for Kpop, not to mention a queer female reprosentation before a male one. That barely even happens here. So yeah, Zinni is my bias just incase anyone was wondering.

Click to view

Just going to leave this video here of Zinni kissing Trinity because it so very relevant to my interests.

And the actual album:







Shh... I'm not biased at all.

I've actually become a lot more open about my love for girl groups in the past month. My guess is because it's the same month that I've basically come out as a lesbian, i'm finally comfortable with it and I like girls, woo~

Back to Friday with Mitch!

I also got some stuff for school to appease Steve, but also because Morning Glory sells the cutest stationary ever okay.




Domo notebook, the cutest pen in the history of cute pents and a glue stick that looks like chapstick which they actually gave me for free, so thar you go~ Now I just have to do some school work. Totes after I post this!

Then we went to Shi Shi which is like right next door to Morning Glory and I got some stuff for my iPod. That's new I suppose as well! I got an iPod touch for my birthday and I love it like it's my baby, okay.




Then we went back to the food court, I got a hotdog which didn't rly help with the penis jokes tbh and he got a cookies and cream thick shake. Then we talked about masturbation and being bffsfolyfe and then Steve and his mother rang us 8 times each and we died.

However on the way home Steve decided to park like 8000 miles away so I had to walk down past all the cars while getting beeped at by sleazy guys. But the upside is I got to see the artsy side of the city at night and honestly? Not so bad tbh.