It's amazing how much difference a simple diagnosis can make..
I feel so shitty rn.
My back/shoulder is killing me because I’m pretty sure I pulled something and it’s literally aching and I can’t do anything without it hurting. Even me not doing anything is making it ache ffs.
That’s not the only reason I feel shitty tho. I just want to take a break from life, from everything. Srsly, if I could just make like an ostrich and hide my head in the sand that’d be great. Some people would argue that I already have been by not facing up to my responsibilities properly but to be fair that’s because I’ve been feeling like this for months now.
Everything just feels rly out of place and uncomfortable at the moment. It’s very easy for people to sit back and tell me how easy it is for things to feel right and what I need to do in order for that to happen but honestly? If it was fucking easy I wouldn’t feel like this. I don’t like bailing on things all the time. I’d love to feel happy without the knowledge at the back of my mind that it’s just temporary.
Even the things that usually bring joy into my life somehow don’t feel right. I’m just constantly uneasy.
Edit: I’m including what I started talking about Yesterday so this makes some sense. The doctor just left and it turns out I have mild pneumonia. So I’m not allowed to do anything till I’m better basically. No wonder I feel so shitty…