(no subject)
I can’t help but hate this
Sometimes I can’t help but hate it.
This timing is so mean,
And so drawn out.
The texture of such pleasant skin
even of mere pads of fingertips,
Though being so much more than mere…
is becoming foreign,
unfamiliar.
But nothing,
No amount of time,
Or water
Or weather
could wash away that
touch.
This morning I woke up
And there was nothing on my hands
And nothing on my feet
And I couldn’t help but hate it.
I thought
Last time when it felt good to wake:
there were hands on mine and feet on top of mine
And at that point in the thought
The sheet began to feel rougher
The pillow stiffer
The air colder
And the grim early morning
Just got grayer.
but the touch stayed still for a pleeding memory.
Saturday i get to see him and i'm so fucking happy excited about it. I miss my baby so much, i can't even start to explain how that goes. the minutes carry on so much longer lately.
Can i brag?
yes i can it's my journal.
Baby is the greatest person in the entire world.
We started out complete strangers, and sometimes when i look at him, even when we're having the best time, i still think "who is this kid??" And even if i feel like i don't exactly know, i know that he's my best friend, my love, the person i can always trust, will always love, will never ever get tired of. And it makes me even more happy than i started out as. i miss him so badly.
i wish i could say it better. i don't know how i functioned before he was with me
i don't know what i concidered a friend before him. I see him and i see life. i see the most perfect friendship in the entire history of two people. i'm feeling kind of lost without him. You know when you have a favorite pet, of favorite stuffed animal when you're little, and maybe you lose it, or the pet runs away. And you just feel so crushed and defeated, and so without..
i feel like that about him. when we're away.
i miss you, you know.
He's the cutest. he got his ears pierced which I think he'll look hot with. then i can buy him cute plugs to put in them. i'll be making money by the end of April. matt, he's on our team!
driving home i felt like crap. i had a long practice tonight and driving home i looked like the girl in all those teen movies before she got the makeover. dag.
Tryouts friday will be untill 10:00 at night. and then i have to be back up at 7 to be out by 8.
duuumb.
well, i guess i'll be done and pretend i have other things i should be doing..