(no subject)
I can't say I'm feeling great about Exeter right now. I've been going back and forth about it all summer, and I keep coming back to really not wanting to go. I know it will be an amazing experience, and I know I'll see a lot of things that I wouldn't other wise get to see. I'll learn a lot and mature a lot.
That being said, I don't want to go. I drove up to Kenyon this weekend, and I saw the sign on the hill, and my gut response was "I'm home!" On the list of things and people that I've been achingly missing this summer, Kenyon was damn near the top of that list, and I'm not going to be there for a full year. I don't even mean my friends at Kenyon, though I miss them too; I mean the feel of the place, the atmosphere. I love Kenyon. It is home now far more than the place my parents live.
I also resent the fact that there are so many classes I want to take at Kenyon that I'm not going to have time to take senior year, and I can't do any academic exploration at Exeter.
I'm also going to miss my friends and family. I've grown used to not seeing much of my Wyoming friends. I'll miss them; I always miss them, but I never spent the amount of concentrated time with them that I've spent with the Kenyon people. I'm used to being around people like Molly all the time. I've grown to depend on those late night conversations we have when the lights are out and neither of us is asleep. And there was such a feeling of community on the hall. No locked doors, no worrying that someone will steal your stuff while you're at class. That's all going to change next year. We're not allowed in the dining halls next year, and to be honest, most of my social time was at that one table in the lunch room. We can't even really bring people to our dorm rooms next year without it being misconstrued.
I'm not going to list the people I'll miss. They know who they are, and I don't want to risk forgetting anyone. There are a lot of you.