(no subject)
I'm feeling quite lavender today. I just finished watching a mandy moore movie. It was called "How to deal" and I don't know. It was a good movie. I know i don't update much, but i also know that i should. It's jsut hard putting how i'm feeling into words. Watching that movie...I see a lot of myself in her character. She's had so much happen to her and she doesn't really believe in love. But you see it's not that I don't believe in love. I just don't believe that it exsists for me. I've been through so many bad relationships and dateless nights that being lonely almost seems the norm. I'm not saying that I don't have any friends and therefore and lonely. I have friends...lots of them and I love them all, it's just that there's something that having a boyfriend (or girlfriend if you're a guy) that kind of makes life fun. I'm in NO way saying life can't be fun without someone. I truly believe that god put us on this planet to accomplish two things: to love someone and have them love you back, and to make a lasting mark on society. I mean what is the point to living an amazing life and being able to travel the world and see beautiful things and do fun stuff if you have no one to share these things with you. I don't know. I love my friends and my family and wouldn't try to change them for the world but I have moments where i feel completely alone in a crowded room. Now that I sound like I'm whining. Life DOESN'T suck all the time. I have to try to remember that....but who can when you're sad,lonely and feel like the whole world is against you and you can't even turn to your family...