rent
rent is a good movie. based off of a musical. i shouldn't have seen it. i got my reasons
the movie. it worries me about someone i really care about. i'm very scared for her. really scared. i don't know how she doesn't understand. ya know...it's nights like tonight that i need one of three people. for emotional resons. even though seeing one of them again would hurt, but i believe she could help me more than hurt me. and it isn't tiffany cause alot of people believe i still need her. i don't but i do still care about her and i would like for her to spend just a little more time with bethany. i'm glad she came to see her for a little bit today. bethany needs that.
i learned about a mental illness yesterday. it starts when you are a little kid and i see more signs in bethany than i lead on to see. everyone sees it that is around bethany much when she is around me and tiffany, but no one knows they see it. i see it. i'm worried. so much worry in my life right now. i need a beer or some wine. something. i done smoked myself sick. what else can i do? damn why couldn't i turn 21 instead of 19?
my heart burns more. but not for love reasons. for the care i have for people. why do i care about people so much that don't care about me? i can't help it. i guess i always have faith things will get better. i know i do. things will be ok sooner or later. things will always be fine. no matter what happens.
i hate being alone. i need someone to share my love and care with. i guess that is just a trial in my life right now. i'll make it through. but it'll take time. i need to learn patience anyways. it's just so hard...
i need more free time. honestly. just for one day i wish i could do nothing and then go to bed at like 7 or 8. that would be heaven. for now at least. cause sometimes you just need a break.
i need a break.
random quote of the day: "you can't let life live you; you have to live life."
the movie. it worries me about someone i really care about. i'm very scared for her. really scared. i don't know how she doesn't understand. ya know...it's nights like tonight that i need one of three people. for emotional resons. even though seeing one of them again would hurt, but i believe she could help me more than hurt me. and it isn't tiffany cause alot of people believe i still need her. i don't but i do still care about her and i would like for her to spend just a little more time with bethany. i'm glad she came to see her for a little bit today. bethany needs that.
i learned about a mental illness yesterday. it starts when you are a little kid and i see more signs in bethany than i lead on to see. everyone sees it that is around bethany much when she is around me and tiffany, but no one knows they see it. i see it. i'm worried. so much worry in my life right now. i need a beer or some wine. something. i done smoked myself sick. what else can i do? damn why couldn't i turn 21 instead of 19?
my heart burns more. but not for love reasons. for the care i have for people. why do i care about people so much that don't care about me? i can't help it. i guess i always have faith things will get better. i know i do. things will be ok sooner or later. things will always be fine. no matter what happens.
i hate being alone. i need someone to share my love and care with. i guess that is just a trial in my life right now. i'll make it through. but it'll take time. i need to learn patience anyways. it's just so hard...
i need more free time. honestly. just for one day i wish i could do nothing and then go to bed at like 7 or 8. that would be heaven. for now at least. cause sometimes you just need a break.
i need a break.
random quote of the day: "you can't let life live you; you have to live life."