Rape Happens
I’m afraid I am going to have to get all serious and all up in your faces about something that has been floating around in Aussie news for a little while now. That awful thing known as rape and the scandals associated with it, particularly in regards to Australia footballers. If you’re not aware of what’s going on, a brief summary is that barely a day goes by when a high-profile football player from AFL or Rugby is accused of raping a girl after a boozy night out.
I have so much to say, so much so I am finding it hard to articulate myself, so please excuse any waffling, though I promise to avoid as much nonsensical ranting as I can since that always gets me into trouble, and I seriously can’t be arsed with it. First and foremost, there is never, ever an excuse for rape. It is one of the worst crimes I can imagine and never will there be a valid excuse for one human raping another (I also believe this applies to the animal kingdom but let’s leave that one for today). I do not care how the victim was dressed, how they acted, what they said or did or whatever; they do not deserve to be raped. I am even of the opinion that even if you’ve committed a horrendous crime, rape is not an acceptable retaliation. It is the most degrading act and serves only to hurt, humiliate and strip all power from the victim. There never has and never will be an excuse or justification for this atrocity and anyone who does not find the idea of rape unbearable or thinks it’s OK to joke about it deserves nothing more than contempt. And maybe a beating or two.
OK so now I have gotten that out of the way, I wanted to highlight some of my thoughts about these scandals and I guess the opinions people have about rape these days. First of all, rape ain’t a new thing that’s just popped up with the invention of TV or rap music. For as long as living creatures have been able to have intercourse, they have been able to rape or be raped. It’s impossible to work out when more rapes have occurred in history because it’s not like murder where there’s a dead body popping up (or to go completely missing without a trace). Rape probably exists a whole lot more than anyone could possibly imagine because most victims tend not to tell people, or at least not report it to authorities. And yet the way it’s portrayed in the media, you’d think it was this new, awful thing that’s a by-product of modern society. Of course the fact we all have so much more access to different news from all over the world thank to the internet helps one feel as though rapes happen more now than they ever did. Of course, maybe they do happen more nowadays than they used to, but we’ll never really know for sure.
I have a lot of mixed feelings about rape scandals involving celebrities. While I know the rick and famous have just as much ability to rape as any non-famous person, I always have this niggling thought that maybe the victim isn’t so much the victim and is actually the one doing the exploitation. It’s such a hard thing to think or talk about because it all comes down to their word against the alleged perpetrator and if you side with one or the other, you’re bound to get into a heated debate with whoever you voice your opinion to. After all, what if that girl was raped by that famous sportsman, you don’t want to assume she made it up for publicity because there’s still a good chance she actually was assaulted. This is why I guess all of these cases get so much media attention because nothing sells better than the combination of sex, crime, fame and the famous celeb vs the hapless victim. I’m not taking sides with either party because I feel sympathy for both because either one could be the victim. The girl who got raped vs the football player who had consensual sex with an eager fan. It’s a really, really messy situation.
I’ve read a tonne of debate over the idea of consent and how it’s affected by alcohol. Is it rape if the girl is wasted and can’t actually say yes, she wants sex but hasn’t said no either? But then if the guy is just as wasted, could he not also be in the same predicament where he was too inebriated to work out if the girl consented and just went along with whatever was happening in the bed at the time? It’s tough, because we all want someone to blame. In an ideal world the guy would realise how smashed the girl was and either send her home in a cab or if he took her home, let her sleep it off before attempting to shag. But this ain’t an ideal world and when a guy is drunk and horny and the girl he’s with seems to be DTF then he’s invariably going to sleep with her. If she said “No, I don’t want to have sex with you” then 99% of guys would stop, maybe curse their bad luck and jerk off in the shower. But there are still those guys who go through with it anyway, which is clearly rape. If the girl didn’t say no and seemed to enjoy the sex, but then woke up and realised what had happened though she couldn’t remember any/most of it and regretted it immediately, how is that classed as rape? According to most state’s laws it is because the girl was drunk and wasn’t able to give consent at the time. Most girls would just go home and feel like a total dickhead and maybe giggle about it with her good friends later but then there’s always those few who decide to make an example of the guy and cry rape, particularly when she has something to gain from it (ie. publicity). I hate the idea of this, and could never do this to someone no matter how much I hated them, but some people are idiots and willing to lie about something as horrific as rape for a little bit of attention.
I’m starting to get off track here and really haven’t come to my point…whatever that may be. Basically, rape is an awful thing but it happens. While a girl should be able to lie naked and spread-eagled on the footpath or wear a tiny skirt and dance provocatively with unknown strangers without being raped, rape is a very real thing and as sad as it is to say, women do need to watch themselves. I’m not saying we should all cover up, abstain from alcohol and wait for marriage, but we do have some responsibility for preventing sexual assault. Look at it this way, if you’re the kind of person who tends to get out of control when drinking and make some stupid mistakes like going home with questionable people or passing out in the street after losing all of your friends, then you need to re-evaluate your partying habits. Because while you do not deserve to be raped because you got trashed, dirty danced with some dodgy guys and acted like a bit of a sluzza all night, you need to be aware of the fact RAPE HAPPENS. If you keep putting yourself in dangerous situations then it becomes likely that something bad will happen to you eventually. When I drink, I get crippling migraines, so to fix this I do not drink very much anymore and do all I can to prevent migraines when I do decide to drink. Likewise, if you’re prone to going home with dodgy fuckwits when drinking, try to prevent the situation by drinking less or at least making sure your friends stay with you at all times. And for good measure, just avoid drinking with footy players in general as you never know, there could be a whole lotta truth behind those rape claims.
Rape can happen anywhere or any place, so don’t put yourself in a position where you might get raped when it can easily be avoided. For all non-partying situations (which is all I covered here tonight), all you can do is be aware, have a plan and for godsake, turn down your damn iPod when running through a park! Be aware and hopefully you will always be safe.
Originally published at rubyvelour.com
» Click here « to leave any comments.