i know you deleted me from your friends list. and you screened my phone calls for the week before i left. and never answered texts. so this is it...this is my last shot danielle. because i hate that we've lost this friendship that still means so much to me. before you went to new york you wrote me this "...i'm sorry for everything that i've done to hurt you. you know i never meant to. i still love you with all of my heart. have fun on your road trip be safe too. love, danielle" apologies were given and acceted on both sides and somehow between then and now we never spoke but a hatred grew on your end and im sorry for whatever else i've done to you. i already apologized for everything at the beginning of the summer but i'm still truely sorry. maybe i'll hear back from you...and maybe i wont. if the later is true i just want to wish you luck in everything you do. you've got the guts to follow through with the wildest dreams and i know you have so much to offer. i hope you are truely happy with your life and i hope the friends you have now are better to you than those of the past. i posted something a few weeks ago that i wanted you to read. maybe itll mean something to you...im not one to predict peoples reactions. but take it for what you will.
sidewalk escapades and younger smiles than we bear now, thats what i remember. when i think of that love, i think of concrete and stars. outsiders wouldnt understand that last sentence, but those within my memory know what i mean. nobody knows what we do about the punctured awning above our heads and how easily hearts can melt. i've memorized how the sun looks when setting behind the trees across the street from my house. does anyone else remember the night our hearts broke in unison as we cried for our each individual reasons? of course life would knock us off our wobbly legs at the same time. of course we'd pick ourselves up and never speak of it again. a brief moment of weakness that our leather skins wouldnt allow us to admit to. and honestly, we were braver than we thought. we tripped and stumbled and broke apart several times. and now, years have gone by and my heart still easily melts at the thought of each of you. and to those who hold grudges that should have long been wiped clean...i know you melt too. just like the rest of us. because this was the truest group of friends i knew. i know. i will ever know? impossible to say, but every smile seemed endless and every night seemed like a lifetime and my chest falls heavy thinking of what i walked away from in search of something that i never found. but we always come back. somehow, we end up in the same spots we began at. a full circle, a lifetime in between each encounter. thousands of stories to share and memories to fall back on. i think ill always reach out to you. not when i need it, but when the timing is right. because you cant force comfort. you let it come as it pleases and you dont beg for it to return when it goes. you just wait for it circle back around again. hoping that it comes to bring your heart back before you crash.
you have me fucking sobbing. this really is ridiculous. i love the shit out of you and i always have. im sorry for everything. absolutely everything, and im sure you predicted this reaction. i wish everything this summer didnt happen. but it did. let's forget about that and pick up where we left off. lets call each other on the phone and talk about boys even though you're in charleston and im here. you know, like we used to. this means so much to me- the fact that you've said all of this and it isnt just me thats really upset by the way this summer turned out. call me soon. i promise i wont screen your calls. i love you with all of my heart, still.
"...i'm sorry for everything that i've done to hurt you. you know i never meant to. i still love you with all of my heart. have fun on your road trip be safe too. love, danielle"
apologies were given and acceted on both sides and somehow between then and now we never spoke but a hatred grew on your end and im sorry for whatever else i've done to you. i already apologized for everything at the beginning of the summer but i'm still truely sorry. maybe i'll hear back from you...and maybe i wont. if the later is true i just want to wish you luck in everything you do. you've got the guts to follow through with the wildest dreams and i know you have so much to offer. i hope you are truely happy with your life and i hope the friends you have now are better to you than those of the past. i posted something a few weeks ago that i wanted you to read. maybe itll mean something to you...im not one to predict peoples reactions. but take it for what you will.
sidewalk escapades and younger smiles than we bear now, thats what i remember. when i think of that love, i think of concrete and stars. outsiders wouldnt understand that last sentence, but those within my memory know what i mean. nobody knows what we do about the punctured awning above our heads and how easily hearts can melt. i've memorized how the sun looks when setting behind the trees across the street from my house. does anyone else remember the night our hearts broke in unison as we cried for our each individual reasons? of course life would knock us off our wobbly legs at the same time. of course we'd pick ourselves up and never speak of it again. a brief moment of weakness that our leather skins wouldnt allow us to admit to. and honestly, we were braver than we thought. we tripped and stumbled and broke apart several times. and now, years have gone by and my heart still easily melts at the thought of each of you. and to those who hold grudges that should have long been wiped clean...i know you melt too. just like the rest of us. because this was the truest group of friends i knew. i know. i will ever know? impossible to say, but every smile seemed endless and every night seemed like a lifetime and my chest falls heavy thinking of what i walked away from in search of something that i never found. but we always come back. somehow, we end up in the same spots we began at. a full circle, a lifetime in between each encounter. thousands of stories to share and memories to fall back on. i think ill always reach out to you. not when i need it, but when the timing is right. because you cant force comfort. you let it come as it pleases and you dont beg for it to return when it goes. you just wait for it circle back around again. hoping that it comes to bring your heart back before you crash.
thank you buds, i love you. all of you.
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this really is ridiculous.
i love the shit out of you and i always have.
im sorry for everything.
absolutely everything,
and im sure you predicted this reaction.
i wish everything this summer didnt happen. but it did.
let's forget about that and pick up where we left off.
lets call each other on the phone and talk about boys even though you're in charleston and im here. you know, like we used to.
this means so much to me-
the fact that you've said all of this and it isnt just me thats really upset by the way this summer turned out.
call me soon.
i promise i wont screen your calls.
i love you with all of my heart,
still.
Reply
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