Startling revelations (to me)

[dielikearockstr]

So yesterday was beyond strange I was brought to conciousness at 11 in the morning by my landlord as I stumbled to the door half dressed I was informed that I had misread my lease, thinking I had one more day than I did to move out. I was instead informed that I was to be out within an hour and for every hour I stayed beyond that would cost me $50 not to mention an initial fee of $100 for not being out in time....so I rushed into action called some family members and managed to move everything in my possession out in just under 5 hours with the help of my friends. All of this haste I found out was for nothing, when I called my landlord he told me to meet him at the apartment at 8:30 in the morning today ...which sucked. So after unloading everything getting my stuff down to an old army bag with lots of clothes (I hate doing laundry so I figured more clothes less times I have to do laundry) my acoustic and a backpack with various books and magazines...most of which I've already read or at least paged through to all the interesting bits. I decided to celebrate by giving out/taking $120 worth of ecstacy which ended up horribly for myself because despite being with friends I felt so disconnected and alone that it really sucked. I remember looking up at the stars in the sky and realizing just how terribly small we are in the universe, that even something as big as the beatles were wasnt even a flicker on the cosmic scale. Its a very bad line of thought which I wouldnt really suggest for anyone. But in doing so I kind of realized to let a few more of my cares go. I realized if no matter how bright you burn that you never will be the brightest and are never truly asked to be, that in a place so vast and great as our own universe, that instead you should burn with whatlove if you cant be the best why not just be happy does any of the other shit really matter? I also realized a flaw in my character last night. I will never tell people the truth about how I'm feeling at any given moment I tend to be more honest after I put some time between myself and the situation, but even if I feel like shit I will always sayh the same words "I'm fine" and leave it at that. I don't think I'm going to  change this because the other side of the coin is being whiney and emo and I'd kind of rather deal with things on my own than pushing my shit onto other people. This is all rambling but eh thats what I do

So this is it for the next 2 weeks going wherever I can sleep and hopefully avoiding parking tickets in process.

If anyone wants to reach me computer will definitley not be the easiest way, I know its making 2 weeks out to sound like a long time but the fact of the matter is I'm repressing a great urge to sublet my apartment and vanish for awhile.

so its time for a summary...there is no such thing as perfect, I realize this and the really odd thing when putting it into perspective now is this....I'm fucking glad there isn't
perfect is boring, perfect is sterile and fake.....that is your summary , well that and I'm homeless for awhile so call the cell if you want to chill or something

peace