(no subject)
because you'll never see this.
I don't want to change who I am. I like myself. I am sorry we disagree. I wish things couldnt be different. It really hurts me when you do this. You say one thing, and then do something else. Tell me you love me, and then tell me you don't want to be with me anymore. Tell me it's not the same. Then tell me you were just emotional.
I think all of that eddie stuff really brought down our relationship. I think it hindered us and caused a lot of unneeded fights and feelings. I wish maybe we had met in a different time in our lives. When maybe we were both a bit more mature. Or, something. A lot of times you were forced to chose me or Eddie, and I don't know if you took his side because you felt like you had to, or if because you didnt value my wants or needs.
I don't know if you want me to leave or stay. You say leave, but then you say stay. Say you don't know where you would be without me. Its hard to do all of this. Let go of someone I love. Leave where I have called home for the past year.
I don't want to move to SF and go to school there without you. That was our together plan. I never completed my application for humboldt. Im stuck in a hard place. Everything is falling. I don't know. I don't know I dont know I dont know. I just gave you the rent money. If im not living there im going to need the money back. It's fucked up, but the money is for this months rent and im not going to be living there. Actually, its fucked up that you would want to keep it. I really don't know. I probably shouldn't have thrown the water on you. =)
I don't want to change who I am. I like myself. I am sorry we disagree. I wish things couldnt be different. It really hurts me when you do this. You say one thing, and then do something else. Tell me you love me, and then tell me you don't want to be with me anymore. Tell me it's not the same. Then tell me you were just emotional.
I think all of that eddie stuff really brought down our relationship. I think it hindered us and caused a lot of unneeded fights and feelings. I wish maybe we had met in a different time in our lives. When maybe we were both a bit more mature. Or, something. A lot of times you were forced to chose me or Eddie, and I don't know if you took his side because you felt like you had to, or if because you didnt value my wants or needs.
I don't know if you want me to leave or stay. You say leave, but then you say stay. Say you don't know where you would be without me. Its hard to do all of this. Let go of someone I love. Leave where I have called home for the past year.
I don't want to move to SF and go to school there without you. That was our together plan. I never completed my application for humboldt. Im stuck in a hard place. Everything is falling. I don't know. I don't know I dont know I dont know. I just gave you the rent money. If im not living there im going to need the money back. It's fucked up, but the money is for this months rent and im not going to be living there. Actually, its fucked up that you would want to keep it. I really don't know. I probably shouldn't have thrown the water on you. =)