(no subject)
My demarche has changed drastically over the past few days for obvious reasons. I'm actually sort of unnerved about how well I am coping with everything going wrong. I feel extremely euphoric for no particular reason and I'm enjoying it.
Now, if I could just get my hands on that time machine and go back, knowing what I know now, I have a very strong feeling things would have turned out very differently between bre and I but there are just too many variables to be certain. I still do not regret any one decision either of us made because I am very proud of my life, who I am, and who I have become and I admire and adore the wonderful person she is.
The last time I woke up where I woke up this morning, Bre was next to me. This morning she was not, obviously, and although large parts of me wishes she had been but I was not upset like I had envisioned. That was very relieving.
I only wish I could take back the last month of my life and re-live it with this better sense of who I actually am. I as a person have not changed, my perspective on life only diversified, metamorphosed into what I feel is a pretty accurate representation of my place in the world. I think I have found my niche for now and I shall stay here as long as the darklings who inhabit this place allow it :]
The sole problem I have is that I've got no real way to prove any of this to anyone else, and the single person I want to realize it doesn't seem to care. That's no fun at all.
[edit] Check it mother skunks-
This was sitting in my inbox this morning:
On July 12, 2007, you ordered:
1 copy of "Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, Harry Potter Series #7 "
by Rowling, J. K. / Rowling, J.k. / Grandpre, Mary
Price: $20.99
Publication date: Jul 21, 2007
A store employee will notify you when this title is released by the publisher or label and becomes available for in-store pickup:
Glendale
7320 West Bell
Glendale , Az 85308
Phone: (623) 487-9110
Now, if I could just get my hands on that time machine and go back, knowing what I know now, I have a very strong feeling things would have turned out very differently between bre and I but there are just too many variables to be certain. I still do not regret any one decision either of us made because I am very proud of my life, who I am, and who I have become and I admire and adore the wonderful person she is.
The last time I woke up where I woke up this morning, Bre was next to me. This morning she was not, obviously, and although large parts of me wishes she had been but I was not upset like I had envisioned. That was very relieving.
I only wish I could take back the last month of my life and re-live it with this better sense of who I actually am. I as a person have not changed, my perspective on life only diversified, metamorphosed into what I feel is a pretty accurate representation of my place in the world. I think I have found my niche for now and I shall stay here as long as the darklings who inhabit this place allow it :]
The sole problem I have is that I've got no real way to prove any of this to anyone else, and the single person I want to realize it doesn't seem to care. That's no fun at all.
[edit] Check it mother skunks-
This was sitting in my inbox this morning:
On July 12, 2007, you ordered:
1 copy of "Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, Harry Potter Series #7 "
by Rowling, J. K. / Rowling, J.k. / Grandpre, Mary
Price: $20.99
Publication date: Jul 21, 2007
A store employee will notify you when this title is released by the publisher or label and becomes available for in-store pickup:
Glendale
7320 West Bell
Glendale , Az 85308
Phone: (623) 487-9110