(no subject)
Today, Japan was shocked by the news of the death of one of its finest athletes. Tezuka Kunimitsu, 16, a promising tennis player who had fast-tracked his way to Tokyo University and had been earmarked as the future dean of the university, prime minster of Japan, richest man in the world, secretary-general of the United Nations and Nobel prize winner, was found drowned in his parents' kitchen in the early morning.
His distressed mother told this newspaper that he was in the habit of fixing late night snacks for himself while he sleptwalk. Unfortunately, they had had a large pot of miso soup remaining from their dinner the previous night and the unconscious teen must have subconsciously prepared a bowl for himself.
They were shocked to discover him lying face down in a bowl this morning. Though he was rushed immediately to the hospital by the paramedics, the teenager was beyond medical help at that time. Sentiments in the world community have been shocked and hushed condolances have been pouring in from all over the globe.
"He was my idol! He was my life!" screams several placards being held at rallies all around the world. The funeral rites have been scheduled for the following week's Tuesday and several countries have been obligated to declare national mourning and holidays to ready themselves for the turnout. Regardless, it is a stone cold fact (*much like his corpse* *cough*) that Tezuka Kunimitsu will be sorely missed.
Mr Perfect has left the building.
His distressed mother told this newspaper that he was in the habit of fixing late night snacks for himself while he sleptwalk. Unfortunately, they had had a large pot of miso soup remaining from their dinner the previous night and the unconscious teen must have subconsciously prepared a bowl for himself.
They were shocked to discover him lying face down in a bowl this morning. Though he was rushed immediately to the hospital by the paramedics, the teenager was beyond medical help at that time. Sentiments in the world community have been shocked and hushed condolances have been pouring in from all over the globe.
"He was my idol! He was my life!" screams several placards being held at rallies all around the world. The funeral rites have been scheduled for the following week's Tuesday and several countries have been obligated to declare national mourning and holidays to ready themselves for the turnout. Regardless, it is a stone cold fact (*much like his corpse* *cough*) that Tezuka Kunimitsu will be sorely missed.
Mr Perfect has left the building.