Don't want to hear me bitch? DON'T READ IT.
Yeah..So..If I fail out of college. My parents will have spent a hell of alot of money, and I'll be a loser.
I am offically, the Super Loser. I'm hungry but am in no mood to eat. Everyone is going out tonight to chill and drink. I'm staying in my dorm to pack and study and throw out food.
Tomorrows thursday, I don't need to eat on a thursday. That'll be my new religion. No-eat-thursday. It's gotta be done anyway, I'm sure I can live off of ginger ale until I get home. Half the shit in my fridge is dead anyway.
I'm really disheartened. I know alot of people are dropping out of the program, and my mom said "You better stay in for the whole 3 years after all this bullshit!" as she yelled at me today. I hate her because she's a bitch, but I still love her because she's my mom. She makes me feel bad about my self. I hate feeling bad about myself. But then again, school makes me feel pretty suicidal, I mean--I'm too much of a pussy to actually DO it. I just don't want to be here anymore, it's made me feel like the bane of everyone I know's existance. I have to fight all the time and I'm tired of fighting. I just wanna lay down and die.
I know this seems like me trying to get attention, and if you think that--Then quite honestly. Go fuck yourself, because you're not a friend anyway. I'm not going to bullshit my way through and pretend like nothings happening like the past 18 years of my life. I want to do way more then this.
I'd kind of like to act.
I'm tired of being a loser, my whole family see's me as a loser, so if I fail out of college--then what does that make me?
An expensive loser.
I don't think my dad likes me very much.
I know my mom doesn't.
Anyway, starting to get teary. Gunna stop writing and study for a bit, it'll stuff all my upsettedness deep down inside where I can forget about it for a while.
Healthy, ain't it?
I am offically, the Super Loser. I'm hungry but am in no mood to eat. Everyone is going out tonight to chill and drink. I'm staying in my dorm to pack and study and throw out food.
Tomorrows thursday, I don't need to eat on a thursday. That'll be my new religion. No-eat-thursday. It's gotta be done anyway, I'm sure I can live off of ginger ale until I get home. Half the shit in my fridge is dead anyway.
I'm really disheartened. I know alot of people are dropping out of the program, and my mom said "You better stay in for the whole 3 years after all this bullshit!" as she yelled at me today. I hate her because she's a bitch, but I still love her because she's my mom. She makes me feel bad about my self. I hate feeling bad about myself. But then again, school makes me feel pretty suicidal, I mean--I'm too much of a pussy to actually DO it. I just don't want to be here anymore, it's made me feel like the bane of everyone I know's existance. I have to fight all the time and I'm tired of fighting. I just wanna lay down and die.
I know this seems like me trying to get attention, and if you think that--Then quite honestly. Go fuck yourself, because you're not a friend anyway. I'm not going to bullshit my way through and pretend like nothings happening like the past 18 years of my life. I want to do way more then this.
I'd kind of like to act.
I'm tired of being a loser, my whole family see's me as a loser, so if I fail out of college--then what does that make me?
An expensive loser.
I don't think my dad likes me very much.
I know my mom doesn't.
Anyway, starting to get teary. Gunna stop writing and study for a bit, it'll stuff all my upsettedness deep down inside where I can forget about it for a while.
Healthy, ain't it?