Dr Pepper Chili (jazzy style)
Because people have expressed so much interest, I will attempt, as best I can, to walk LJ at large through the process, inasmuch as there is one, of making Dr Pepper Chili.
Ingredients (in order of use?):
1 package of ground turkey, this is like 1.3lbs or some shit
Lots of spices, esp. minced garlic, chili powder, white and black pepper, a bayleaf or two, a bit of sage, and dried cilantro. paprika is nice if you have it (kitchen ate mine). I use onion powder because I hate actual onions. Have cinnamon on hand, for later.
1-3 cans of Dr Pepper
1 can of tomato paste (it was a bigger one than the tiny ones. like 10oz? 12?)
Water
Can of kidney beans (the red ones?)
Can of black beans
Can of corn
Get a really big pot. Seriously, a big pot. Somehow nothing I cook ever makes less than a metric fuck-tonne. Add meat and whatever amount you like of each of the spices EXCEPT cinnamon and really you don't want too much bay because ick. Brown meat, and if the turkey is fairly lean don't bother draining.
This step is tricky. You must add Dr Pepper to the pot. It will foam a lot, and you will be tempted to drink out of the can. Try to see to it that 12-16oz makes it into the pot though. Open as many cans as necessary for this to actually happen.
Take cleaver. Stab open can of tomato paste. Try not to injure self or pets; tomato-paste spattered walls are a lost cause, however. Alternately, you could remember how can-intensive this meal is and pick up a new can opener before you start the process. Alternately, you could be a pussy. Add tomato paste to pot, reduce heat (it probably should have been on 'high' before) and add some amount of water, swished around in the tomato paste can to help get more out. Smell the proto-chili. Does it smell like spaghetti sauce? More spices. Does it smell like chili without veggies? Good job. If it smells like anything else add Worcestershire sauce, I find this fixes most problems in the kitchen. I may also have thrown some soy sauce into it, but I don't seem to have actual salt, which you might want to add or not. Simmer long enough to fuck around on Twitter for awhile.
Now it's time to stab open three more cans! You may want to reduce the heat even more while you do this because it's gonna take a fuck of a long time. Add all the red beans, most of the black ones, corn to taste, and a little bit of cinnamon. Continue cooking for long enough to wash enough dishes to eat from and get your crackers all crumbled and your fresh tomatoes chopped and your shredded cheese out of the fridge, if you're a worthwhile person. If not, do some shamanism or something, I'm not your boss. Is the chili the correct thickness, whatever that means to you? If so, put it in a bowl and eat it! If it's too watery, continue cooking it. If it's too thick, add more water and/or Dr Pepper. See above question re: correct and wash/rinse/repeat as needed.
And there you have it! Dr Pepper Chili. I promise you this is good.
Ingredients (in order of use?):
1 package of ground turkey, this is like 1.3lbs or some shit
Lots of spices, esp. minced garlic, chili powder, white and black pepper, a bayleaf or two, a bit of sage, and dried cilantro. paprika is nice if you have it (kitchen ate mine). I use onion powder because I hate actual onions. Have cinnamon on hand, for later.
1-3 cans of Dr Pepper
1 can of tomato paste (it was a bigger one than the tiny ones. like 10oz? 12?)
Water
Can of kidney beans (the red ones?)
Can of black beans
Can of corn
Get a really big pot. Seriously, a big pot. Somehow nothing I cook ever makes less than a metric fuck-tonne. Add meat and whatever amount you like of each of the spices EXCEPT cinnamon and really you don't want too much bay because ick. Brown meat, and if the turkey is fairly lean don't bother draining.
This step is tricky. You must add Dr Pepper to the pot. It will foam a lot, and you will be tempted to drink out of the can. Try to see to it that 12-16oz makes it into the pot though. Open as many cans as necessary for this to actually happen.
Take cleaver. Stab open can of tomato paste. Try not to injure self or pets; tomato-paste spattered walls are a lost cause, however. Alternately, you could remember how can-intensive this meal is and pick up a new can opener before you start the process. Alternately, you could be a pussy. Add tomato paste to pot, reduce heat (it probably should have been on 'high' before) and add some amount of water, swished around in the tomato paste can to help get more out. Smell the proto-chili. Does it smell like spaghetti sauce? More spices. Does it smell like chili without veggies? Good job. If it smells like anything else add Worcestershire sauce, I find this fixes most problems in the kitchen. I may also have thrown some soy sauce into it, but I don't seem to have actual salt, which you might want to add or not. Simmer long enough to fuck around on Twitter for awhile.
Now it's time to stab open three more cans! You may want to reduce the heat even more while you do this because it's gonna take a fuck of a long time. Add all the red beans, most of the black ones, corn to taste, and a little bit of cinnamon. Continue cooking for long enough to wash enough dishes to eat from and get your crackers all crumbled and your fresh tomatoes chopped and your shredded cheese out of the fridge, if you're a worthwhile person. If not, do some shamanism or something, I'm not your boss. Is the chili the correct thickness, whatever that means to you? If so, put it in a bowl and eat it! If it's too watery, continue cooking it. If it's too thick, add more water and/or Dr Pepper. See above question re: correct and wash/rinse/repeat as needed.
And there you have it! Dr Pepper Chili. I promise you this is good.