(no subject)
Everything in my life has completely changed. No more dependicies. It's been a long time since my last post.(I'm not even sure if anyone uses this thing?) but I just want to ramble on incoherently. I haven't touched Meth for about a year.
I was so into doing that at one point I was shooting it up everyday. I guess I only have myself to blame for pulling myself into that. However, I do have a lot of people to thank for helping me pull myself out that pathetic situation. I'm not sure If anyone knew how far into it I got? All I know is that if it wasn't for the people that care about me most I probably wouldn't be here today. I hid it from everyone; in constant denial about the degree of my dependency. I remember at my worst I would start being judgemental of people that used less then me. I was so deluted. I dont even think Matt or Britty or Jordan have any idea what effect they had on me. Especially Jordan. I had like him long before I even stopped. If I hadn't met him I don't even know what kind of downworld spiral my life would've taken? Matt and Britty gave me the hugest ultamtime of my life. My selfishness or them. At one point they stopped talking to me.That was a huge slap in the face.
I love Britty so much. I know that no matter what she'll be there for me and I'll be there for her. Although these last four years of our lives we have drifted because of boyfriends and my craziness, I realy feel like her and I are becoming close again.
Things are good. I hope that there isn't some sickening balance of life that because things are so good for me they're harder for someone else. Who knows? Anythings could equate to anything. Correalations like that one remind of astrology and astrology makes me feel nauseas. I'm out. Time to barf.
I was so into doing that at one point I was shooting it up everyday. I guess I only have myself to blame for pulling myself into that. However, I do have a lot of people to thank for helping me pull myself out that pathetic situation. I'm not sure If anyone knew how far into it I got? All I know is that if it wasn't for the people that care about me most I probably wouldn't be here today. I hid it from everyone; in constant denial about the degree of my dependency. I remember at my worst I would start being judgemental of people that used less then me. I was so deluted. I dont even think Matt or Britty or Jordan have any idea what effect they had on me. Especially Jordan. I had like him long before I even stopped. If I hadn't met him I don't even know what kind of downworld spiral my life would've taken? Matt and Britty gave me the hugest ultamtime of my life. My selfishness or them. At one point they stopped talking to me.That was a huge slap in the face.
I love Britty so much. I know that no matter what she'll be there for me and I'll be there for her. Although these last four years of our lives we have drifted because of boyfriends and my craziness, I realy feel like her and I are becoming close again.
Things are good. I hope that there isn't some sickening balance of life that because things are so good for me they're harder for someone else. Who knows? Anythings could equate to anything. Correalations like that one remind of astrology and astrology makes me feel nauseas. I'm out. Time to barf.