tell me if im insane please.
i dont even know what im thinking. part of my childhood died. we played pokemon in his living room. after school every day for a month he would come to my house with his memory card so we could beat our game of diablo. stupid friggin butcher on level two.Those acid spitting hounds sucked too. i wouldnt say that i was jealous of him....but i was at times. he was the closest thing to a role model and the only peer that i had in my entire childhood. i've never said it out loud. ive never admitted it. til now. til its too late to let him know .
i dont deserve this. i dont deserve to care this much. he hasnt been a part of my life for what seems like eternity. i'd drive by going to do any worthless mundane task and he'd wave. hed say hi... i didnt even know how to say hi back sometimes... i always wanted to. i thought about just walking over to his house to see how he was doing. i just didnt think i was good enough. i thought i'd look like a freak. he'll be a part of my childhood for eternity. that will never change.
i'm still so lost. i cant even comprehend this. he was a great kid... One of the greatest i'll honestly ever know. everyone that i have ever talked to about him says the same thing. His smile. He could piss you off with his smile because no matter how pissed you tried to be it would just cut right threw it. it was infectious. his laughter just never felt like it was held back, completely unadulterated, uninhibited. i'd get mad because i couldnt stay mad... how can you explain that or put it into words. it was just one of those intangibles that he had. that and he really wa a pain in the ass in twisted metal2, only one that would beat me.
i want so desperately to cry. to walk over to his house and just tell them how sorry i am. how if anyone on my street it shouldnt have been him. its always the best that suffer the most. Why did it have to happen to him. my fear that kept me from just saying hi is now making me feel ashamed to just tell his loved ones that im sorry for their pain. as i write this i cant comprehend it any better. i know im rambling but i dont care about that. hah random memory. he introduced me to the bloodhound gang even before they were on trl for that damn bad touch song. He was one hell of a goalie in street hockey too
R.I.P.
Frankie DeCandia
i dont deserve this. i dont deserve to care this much. he hasnt been a part of my life for what seems like eternity. i'd drive by going to do any worthless mundane task and he'd wave. hed say hi... i didnt even know how to say hi back sometimes... i always wanted to. i thought about just walking over to his house to see how he was doing. i just didnt think i was good enough. i thought i'd look like a freak. he'll be a part of my childhood for eternity. that will never change.
i'm still so lost. i cant even comprehend this. he was a great kid... One of the greatest i'll honestly ever know. everyone that i have ever talked to about him says the same thing. His smile. He could piss you off with his smile because no matter how pissed you tried to be it would just cut right threw it. it was infectious. his laughter just never felt like it was held back, completely unadulterated, uninhibited. i'd get mad because i couldnt stay mad... how can you explain that or put it into words. it was just one of those intangibles that he had. that and he really wa a pain in the ass in twisted metal2, only one that would beat me.
i want so desperately to cry. to walk over to his house and just tell them how sorry i am. how if anyone on my street it shouldnt have been him. its always the best that suffer the most. Why did it have to happen to him. my fear that kept me from just saying hi is now making me feel ashamed to just tell his loved ones that im sorry for their pain. as i write this i cant comprehend it any better. i know im rambling but i dont care about that. hah random memory. he introduced me to the bloodhound gang even before they were on trl for that damn bad touch song. He was one hell of a goalie in street hockey too
R.I.P.
Frankie DeCandia