I don't know why
But I feel urged to post all my favorited tweets, because they make me laugh and I want all of you to laugh and have a nice day.
@ ShyBoysWin 3 Euros for a medium coffee, that's like $160 right?
@ ZombieNicholas "Shampoo is better. It goes on first and cleansthe hair! Conditioner is better, it leaves the hair silky and... Stop looking at me swan!"
@ GabrielSaportaI don't have a penis. I have a fat, flacid dick
@ mikeyway uncanny!!! twitpic.com/ebq4g
@ sweet_pea00 I think that if it smells like bullshit, and tastes like bullshit, chances are there's a bull plopping a cleaveland steamer on your chest
@ william_control Well Detroit you were great today. Sorry my voice was so shit. I have no excuse other than im not that great of a singer. Thanx 4 rocking!
@ mikeyway @ petewentz hahah i'll be the dude blowing on the rape-whistle
@ petewentz @ mikeyway #myinvisiblebestfriend brad pitt & me are gonna pick u up on our choppers u don't deserve that. Our hair looks awesome in the wind
@ KxBxBxKahuku RT @ Sofia_60uz: Chuck Norris can tweet 141 characters.
@ KxBxBxKahuku Chuck Norris let the dogs out, no one dared stop him.
@ william_control @ Canada_tweets Come on Canada. Let the right one in.
@ AngelIbarra Apparently I have a proceeding hairline hah every day my hair gets closer to my eyebrows
@ mikeyway Not gonna lie, this tweet is pretty fuckin haunted
@ Franklero To the two screaming prick faced toddlers who ruined my viewing of transformers last night, your mother should have sat on a coat hanger. Xo
@ petewentz Thanks to all my fans that had my fart's backs! I know they aren't as handsome smelling as an r. Patz fart
@ GabrielSaporta @ petewentz dude, you only dropped into NY for 1 day? you're soooo jet-set! i didn't even get to give you the BFF necklaces i made us
@ mikeyway the toyota prius is slowly becoming the new state bird of california.
@ mikeyway Whenever I hear Enya, I have this sudden urge to buy shampoo
@ ZombieNicholas @ missjeffreestar You should eat my dick for dinner. Miss you homie.
@ Franklero Ugh ate some old-ass pizza, everything around me has a purple tint. It's making my butthole hurt, my sexy flaming butthole. Pizza rules.
@ mikeyway Smoking a clove for no good reason. It feels like someone opened a goth club in my mouth.
@ mikeyway bahhahhahhahahhahahah twitpic.com/5npfq
@ petewentz watching "the view", drinking tea, in black juicy sweats. i dare you to try and out do me.
@ ZombieNicholas @ AngelIbarra whow whow whow!!!! Don't put zombies and Morons I mean Mormons in the same tweet!
@ mikeyway Your all collectively my Turbo Lover
@ GabrielSaporta Genius Words for the Day: It's not gay to get a blowjob from a dude as long as you do it in public
@ GabrielSaporta Just got back to bus. @ dannytours (our merch guy)told me the great news! He got a blow job tonight! Me: "danny, did you cum a lot?" "yeah!"
@ britl @ burninggoats twoosh is a tweet that is EXACTLY 140 characters. This tweet wasn't a twoosh, however I added more words to make it one. Beets
@ petewentz been calling the barf on our bus "wine flu" 4 awhile.feel like they shouldve consulted me on the name. piglets publicists having a tuff week
@ GabrielSaporta Just got off stage. Told kids @ petewentz started swine flu by flying to mexico and farting in kids' pillows.
@ MikeSheaAP @ william_control being friends with u is like a form of euthenasia
@ william_control @ MikeSheaAP the question you should be asking is... how many bodies.
@ mikeyway http://twitpic.com/393qh - @ petewentz We'll slap this on a dalorean and we are set for Easter II
@ mikeyway When are dudes gonna stop rocking bike shorts!? This ain't the Marvel Universe and you don't have a sweet ass
@ mikeyway @ petewentz haha! nermal! Every time Daves about to get laid, Garfield totally blows it for him
@ petewentz kadavar just said "im an atheist, its a non-prophet organization". thats bumper sticker material.