Teen angst can suck a dick.
JesusIsAGimpyJoo: WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
HardRockNinja: Thous hast interupped my slumber!!!
JesusIsAGimpyJoo: I am so sorry. :x
HardRockNinja: You shall pay!
JesusIsAGimpyJoo: HOW MUCH!?
HardRockNinja: $50 in cash tomorrow
JesusIsAGimpyJoo: Haha
JesusIsAGimpyJoo: I only have 45 :[
HardRockNinja: that will do
JesusIsAGimpyJoo: Damn, okay
@!##@$@#$%(#$*%()$%^*(#^*()%^)(#$*&@#$*@!&$
Okay so. Where should I start? Eh, is there really any point in doing this? None of you give a shit about my day-to-day life. Uhm, that's probably why I don't update too often, huh? Oh god fine. I am feeling this irritation to be in a different place. Let me reiterate a conversation my mom and I had:
Me: I am just tired of being me. I want to go somewhere else, I don't even care if I live to see another day, as long as I don't have to have one more repetitious day.
Mom: Then go. If it will make you happy to get out and seek, then do so, I'm not going to hold you back. Just make sure you send me a post card.
Me: Haha, I would, I would. But are you serious?
Mom: Yeah...if it's what you want, go for it.
So, I'm trying to decide how to drop everything and leave. I know I'm fucking stupid for doing this, but it's just this feeling I have. I need to go, and not being able to go just fuels the fire. I look at my life as the witness, and I see no direction. I have people that love me left and right, but the love cannot ease the ache of needing difference. And I know the cliché saying;"You don't know how good living at home was until you're not there anymore" I know I haven't experienced being on my own yet, but I trust that I will not die, ache, or yearn to come back. Being independent is what I do best. I don't need people to pat me on the back and appreciate me to know I'm a good person. And, I really don't care if no one else cares about me. I don't. I know they don't care, and that's what I find so AWESOME about it. They DON'T CARE. So, it's a mutual not-caring-ness. Looking at my life, I also see that I am causing my own anguish. Me continuing to let myself go on like this makes me feel even worse. I accept life. I accept the difficulties it has handed me and will hand me. I accept that I am who I am, and that only I have the power to change it. I exist as nothing or no one but myself and I accept that. I accept the river, and will not try to dam it up. Never.
#$%*($&#%*$)#%&@#*($&@#)(*%&@$#(_&@$#)(%&#$%()*
The show kicked ass on saturday. Lotsa people missing though. Reckless Deerhunters were awesome. I miss Missy and Aaron, they need to come see me some day. SOME DAY. Jeez. Some retard tried to steal my shoes today. I don't feel like explaining it again. So I won't. If you wanna know, talk to me. God. I love Jenna. She is wonderful. I love Christina too. You guys need to spend the night at my house someday. :). Today sucked. I made an 82 on my Alg II test, and I still suck at it. I need help. I love Led Zeppelin. I love Courtney. I love everyone. Please remember that.
%^(%^*()#^*)(#$%^*#$)(%^*#$()%*#^_(*$#@)(%*#$(^
My dad died nine years ago today.
HardRockNinja: Thous hast interupped my slumber!!!
JesusIsAGimpyJoo: I am so sorry. :x
HardRockNinja: You shall pay!
JesusIsAGimpyJoo: HOW MUCH!?
HardRockNinja: $50 in cash tomorrow
JesusIsAGimpyJoo: Haha
JesusIsAGimpyJoo: I only have 45 :[
HardRockNinja: that will do
JesusIsAGimpyJoo: Damn, okay
@!##@$@#$%(#$*%()$%^*(#^*()%^)(#$*&@#$*@!&$
Okay so. Where should I start? Eh, is there really any point in doing this? None of you give a shit about my day-to-day life. Uhm, that's probably why I don't update too often, huh? Oh god fine. I am feeling this irritation to be in a different place. Let me reiterate a conversation my mom and I had:
Me: I am just tired of being me. I want to go somewhere else, I don't even care if I live to see another day, as long as I don't have to have one more repetitious day.
Mom: Then go. If it will make you happy to get out and seek, then do so, I'm not going to hold you back. Just make sure you send me a post card.
Me: Haha, I would, I would. But are you serious?
Mom: Yeah...if it's what you want, go for it.
So, I'm trying to decide how to drop everything and leave. I know I'm fucking stupid for doing this, but it's just this feeling I have. I need to go, and not being able to go just fuels the fire. I look at my life as the witness, and I see no direction. I have people that love me left and right, but the love cannot ease the ache of needing difference. And I know the cliché saying;"You don't know how good living at home was until you're not there anymore" I know I haven't experienced being on my own yet, but I trust that I will not die, ache, or yearn to come back. Being independent is what I do best. I don't need people to pat me on the back and appreciate me to know I'm a good person. And, I really don't care if no one else cares about me. I don't. I know they don't care, and that's what I find so AWESOME about it. They DON'T CARE. So, it's a mutual not-caring-ness. Looking at my life, I also see that I am causing my own anguish. Me continuing to let myself go on like this makes me feel even worse. I accept life. I accept the difficulties it has handed me and will hand me. I accept that I am who I am, and that only I have the power to change it. I exist as nothing or no one but myself and I accept that. I accept the river, and will not try to dam it up. Never.
#$%*($&#%*$)#%&@#*($&@#)(*%&@$#(_&@$#)(%&#$%()*
The show kicked ass on saturday. Lotsa people missing though. Reckless Deerhunters were awesome. I miss Missy and Aaron, they need to come see me some day. SOME DAY. Jeez. Some retard tried to steal my shoes today. I don't feel like explaining it again. So I won't. If you wanna know, talk to me. God. I love Jenna. She is wonderful. I love Christina too. You guys need to spend the night at my house someday. :). Today sucked. I made an 82 on my Alg II test, and I still suck at it. I need help. I love Led Zeppelin. I love Courtney. I love everyone. Please remember that.
%^(%^*()#^*)(#$%^*#$)(%^*#$()%*#^_(*$#@)(%*#$(^
My dad died nine years ago today.