why?
how can someone be so dispaired by life and so fed up with it that they just end it? i've been to the point of complete and utter exhaustion with the bull shits of the world and my life...and been to the point where i feel like i can't take it anymore...but i push myself to make it through the day to wake up the next morning. how can you just deside you don't want to wake up the next morning and leave everyone behind? is life really that bad? is it really so hard that a temporary problem can't be resolved or worked through? life is so fragile and so breakable. there's no turning back once you pull that trigger. there's no coming back. there's no second chances. there's no change of heart halfway to heaven or hell. what there is, however, is a void in every heart in which that person has touched. there is a sudden feeling of lonliness and confusion that lingers over you like a rain cloud waiting to burst. why? what reason? what went wrong? was there really no one he could talk to? was he lying every time he told me to keep my chin up and push through it, and everything will be okay? was that just a bluff? all those long talks...all the tears he wiped away from my face...was he keeping his own tears and fears locked up inside so no one would know he was actually hurting? im so mad at him. im so frustrated. but at the same time...i cry a thousand tears for him, hoping that wherever he is...he will hear them and know i loved him and know how much i miss him. he touched so many lives...........but who touched his?