sages
(At least part of this I'm writing to remember)
Uardo invited me to an opening yesterday. It was meh and then we went out for some drinks. Since I've only been hanging out with Perrine, who is leaving in a week, and my housemates, who I'm just getting to know, it was necessary hanging out. We'd stopped seeing each other altogether this year and a half, due to the going out less that relationships, and relationships with the abstinent, bring on. Plus we had been roomies. Yet he's my best friend here, not always in availability and support, but in kindred-ness.
At the end of the night, I told him, by way of apology, Sé que no soy mi mejor yo ahora, pero está bien, porque soy yo "I'm not my best self right now, I know. But that's okay, because I'm myself."
I don't know if that inspired pity or love, but he leaned over (another tall one) and kissed me on the cheek. It was very sweet and intentional, post-kissy noise goodbye. My heart surged with emotion, the good stuff but pity and doubt too. I felt like I had to give him something in return, so I told him que siento yo con él, en cambio de con muchas personas, that I feel like my real self around him, but not around many people.
Biking away, I thought: Why so awkward? Couldn't I have let the moment be? Or maybe that's opening up, and it just feels awkward because it's uncommon for me. Then I trashpicked a buncha baskets.
We talked about:
-that other guy (despite our many coincidences, U doesn't know OD. whew)
-vocabulary choices: "(esp)Taking me to meet his long lost father was such a (eng)maneuver! ¿Como se dicemaneuver? Uardo:maniobra me:"No! That's for construction. I mean maneuver. How do I say that?" Uardo:maniobra. "(sp)That's such a maniobra!"
-falling in love vs making it stick (his crisis)
-falling fast (see above, with a traveling Brazilian no less)
-not basing yourself on your family members, especially not their dysfunction
-his awesome friend who thinks her conversations are monitored
-moving in together again
-needing romantic partners, healthy or unhealthy?
-my biological clock and its influences on current crisis
-his theory that el moreno/aforementioned photojournalist is gay. Hilarious, and indefensible without revealing that we were lovers/sex buddies secretly. I lied about it previously.
liberally translated Uardo-wisdom:
"Pretty much, you CAN do anything it takes to make a relationship work. You CAN make that the #1 priority in your life, because if you want to be with that person, then what's more important? Of course, you've gotta take care of yourself first. The only more important thing is making sure you're okay, that you've got your shit together." YES
I love Uardo very much, and have often wondered what we'd be like. Right now, he's in a drawn-out process of breaking Naomi's (gringamiga, from s.jerz, currently in NYC)'s heart. When we lived together, my complaints were: smokes too much pot, never cleans, we contracted laziness from each other, drunk, he'd occasionally let me know that "the door was open" if I was interested. Those are pretty good for being the only complaints. Ahem.
I hereby convocate a "friends" tag, and revive my "adventures in celibacy".
Uardo invited me to an opening yesterday. It was meh and then we went out for some drinks. Since I've only been hanging out with Perrine, who is leaving in a week, and my housemates, who I'm just getting to know, it was necessary hanging out. We'd stopped seeing each other altogether this year and a half, due to the going out less that relationships, and relationships with the abstinent, bring on. Plus we had been roomies. Yet he's my best friend here, not always in availability and support, but in kindred-ness.
At the end of the night, I told him, by way of apology, Sé que no soy mi mejor yo ahora, pero está bien, porque soy yo "I'm not my best self right now, I know. But that's okay, because I'm myself."
I don't know if that inspired pity or love, but he leaned over (another tall one) and kissed me on the cheek. It was very sweet and intentional, post-kissy noise goodbye. My heart surged with emotion, the good stuff but pity and doubt too. I felt like I had to give him something in return, so I told him que siento yo con él, en cambio de con muchas personas, that I feel like my real self around him, but not around many people.
Biking away, I thought: Why so awkward? Couldn't I have let the moment be? Or maybe that's opening up, and it just feels awkward because it's uncommon for me. Then I trashpicked a buncha baskets.
We talked about:
-that other guy (despite our many coincidences, U doesn't know OD. whew)
-vocabulary choices: "(esp)Taking me to meet his long lost father was such a (eng)maneuver! ¿Como se dicemaneuver? Uardo:maniobra me:"No! That's for construction. I mean maneuver. How do I say that?" Uardo:maniobra. "(sp)That's such a maniobra!"
-falling in love vs making it stick (his crisis)
-falling fast (see above, with a traveling Brazilian no less)
-not basing yourself on your family members, especially not their dysfunction
-his awesome friend who thinks her conversations are monitored
-moving in together again
-needing romantic partners, healthy or unhealthy?
-my biological clock and its influences on current crisis
-his theory that el moreno/aforementioned photojournalist is gay. Hilarious, and indefensible without revealing that we were lovers/sex buddies secretly. I lied about it previously.
liberally translated Uardo-wisdom:
"Pretty much, you CAN do anything it takes to make a relationship work. You CAN make that the #1 priority in your life, because if you want to be with that person, then what's more important? Of course, you've gotta take care of yourself first. The only more important thing is making sure you're okay, that you've got your shit together." YES
I love Uardo very much, and have often wondered what we'd be like. Right now, he's in a drawn-out process of breaking Naomi's (gringamiga, from s.jerz, currently in NYC)'s heart. When we lived together, my complaints were: smokes too much pot, never cleans, we contracted laziness from each other, drunk, he'd occasionally let me know that "the door was open" if I was interested. Those are pretty good for being the only complaints. Ahem.
I hereby convocate a "friends" tag, and revive my "adventures in celibacy".