Drama follow up and thoughts on language while high
Took these passages from a letter to a good friend.
Leaves things at as-of-4-days-ago.
Something happened to cause everyone to not understand me. Could've been the topic? It was very funny, Jorgelita (being a fellow extranjera albeit from a Spanish-speaking country) and Jorge (who knows me well, despite impatience) took turns interpreting my speech for the others. Perhaps a question of Subir Nivel, but my theory about it now is that I try to talk fancier, less safe, when drunk en español. I try to copy "clever" things in English, like saying,"I'm immune to his teasing by now." But no suena. I wonder if this is comprised in the category non-literal speech, figurative speech.
Speaking of which, one thing that M. did with me, an easy-swoon device for CJB-en-Méx, is to use words like güey and (no) mames. I love, for example, that Jorge always uses such groserías with me (including cab' or cabron. Dunno if you heard how Jorge-Alvaro's-dad does it, but like that, because he's from the north, and Jorge Dan because he's from Guerrero). But it's also special when dudes (so far, dudes. I think) get drunk and start to use those terms. Entonces, I asked everyone why that would be. My theories had to do with gender, but I liked Jorgelita's about confianza, that it signifies that you have now entered someone's trust, and I liked that she included that it's a good example of why people say that trust is (deadly?) (dangerous?)...algo asi. Nobody thought it was about gender. The dudes thought it was because one is less careful when drunk. So the followup question: if indeed the audience/recipent is not a factor, then why would someone change back? Once you enter someone's trust, is it just a matter of sobering up to loose it (frequently, right)? But I think it's very cool to have this linguistic evidence of such fickle esteem. I said this and Jorgelita was like, come on, probably that happens in English too. I said, yeah, re: change of heart, sloppy/changes in speech, but nothing so structural and of rule occurred to me. Can you think of a good example of how English speakers do this while drunk? I'd like to know what it means (for M. to do it), and why I automatically feel nice when people do it.
Okay. Well. What I meant about the bitter. It relates to above about sense of humor, and feeling like I am lacking the positive outlet for negative feelings that being humoursly bitter provides. I didn't go, Ro came home mad, took half the morning for him to accept apology ("What would you think if I was getting drunk with some chica? No me cayó nada bien este tipo"), and now I'd say he hasn't accepted so much as affixes his mindset to never-happened, but secretely lo almacena para después. At 8:30am I got a message from M. apologizing for departing without taking leave, saying we had fun, unrepentant, I thought.
To summarize the communication between he and I since, I offer this: M.Are you mad? It was nice to meet your chico, etc. C. I'm mad. M.fancy words to overdo saying sorry, "alcohol no fue todo, también traigo un proceso personal que embadurna mi memoria." Hmm?, a need to calm my emotions. C. FYI, Now I trust you even less, mucho TMI, Don't be dramatic, I am still interested in...working with you, getting to know you. Don't make that hard. M. What did I do? It's my bday tomorrow. C. Whateeva., nice things, planted comment about copyediting. Your party sounds unseasonably warm. Also you wrote in permanent marker on my kitchen table. Garden plans? M.copyediting? Swoon. Writing on the table was a desenfrenado act committed so that I'd remain there. I wanted to stay; I had to go. I wanted to stay there, but it's good you were able to wash it off. I thought about it afterward. Garden plans. And, finally, "Lo que quiero decirte Carrie, es que valoro en mucho tu presencia, tu astucia y tu carácter, por lo que he podido ver, y por lo mismo me interesa que ser un amigo sincero antes de un malestar en tu existencia.
Had to include that last one, it's so good. I'll respond luego, ¡el chiste es que no se acuerda! Ouch. Also confusing word choices for someone who doesn't remember, so I doubt the veracity of that question, a little. I wonder if it'd be foolish or corageous to say, sabes que, I was mad 'cause you kissed me. But you also said good things, and I kissed you back, and I liked it. And now I'm mad 'cause you don't remember. As of now, it seems unwise. I always feel ashamed when I am the only one who remembers details of drunken revalry, especially "meaningful" revalry. Silly. Also still mad that he left without bike light....if you can't remember a smootch, you need bike lights! Anything is possible at this point, so I'm going to just let it be for a while.
Leaves things at as-of-4-days-ago.
Something happened to cause everyone to not understand me. Could've been the topic? It was very funny, Jorgelita (being a fellow extranjera albeit from a Spanish-speaking country) and Jorge (who knows me well, despite impatience) took turns interpreting my speech for the others. Perhaps a question of Subir Nivel, but my theory about it now is that I try to talk fancier, less safe, when drunk en español. I try to copy "clever" things in English, like saying,"I'm immune to his teasing by now." But no suena. I wonder if this is comprised in the category non-literal speech, figurative speech.
Speaking of which, one thing that M. did with me, an easy-swoon device for CJB-en-Méx, is to use words like güey and (no) mames. I love, for example, that Jorge always uses such groserías with me (including cab' or cabron. Dunno if you heard how Jorge-Alvaro's-dad does it, but like that, because he's from the north, and Jorge Dan because he's from Guerrero). But it's also special when dudes (so far, dudes. I think) get drunk and start to use those terms. Entonces, I asked everyone why that would be. My theories had to do with gender, but I liked Jorgelita's about confianza, that it signifies that you have now entered someone's trust, and I liked that she included that it's a good example of why people say that trust is (deadly?) (dangerous?)...algo asi. Nobody thought it was about gender. The dudes thought it was because one is less careful when drunk. So the followup question: if indeed the audience/recipent is not a factor, then why would someone change back? Once you enter someone's trust, is it just a matter of sobering up to loose it (frequently, right)? But I think it's very cool to have this linguistic evidence of such fickle esteem. I said this and Jorgelita was like, come on, probably that happens in English too. I said, yeah, re: change of heart, sloppy/changes in speech, but nothing so structural and of rule occurred to me. Can you think of a good example of how English speakers do this while drunk? I'd like to know what it means (for M. to do it), and why I automatically feel nice when people do it.
Okay. Well. What I meant about the bitter. It relates to above about sense of humor, and feeling like I am lacking the positive outlet for negative feelings that being humoursly bitter provides. I didn't go, Ro came home mad, took half the morning for him to accept apology ("What would you think if I was getting drunk with some chica? No me cayó nada bien este tipo"), and now I'd say he hasn't accepted so much as affixes his mindset to never-happened, but secretely lo almacena para después. At 8:30am I got a message from M. apologizing for departing without taking leave, saying we had fun, unrepentant, I thought.
To summarize the communication between he and I since, I offer this: M.Are you mad? It was nice to meet your chico, etc. C. I'm mad. M.fancy words to overdo saying sorry, "alcohol no fue todo, también traigo un proceso personal que embadurna mi memoria." Hmm?, a need to calm my emotions. C. FYI, Now I trust you even less, mucho TMI, Don't be dramatic, I am still interested in...working with you, getting to know you. Don't make that hard. M. What did I do? It's my bday tomorrow. C. Whateeva., nice things, planted comment about copyediting. Your party sounds unseasonably warm. Also you wrote in permanent marker on my kitchen table. Garden plans? M.copyediting? Swoon. Writing on the table was a desenfrenado act committed so that I'd remain there. I wanted to stay; I had to go. I wanted to stay there, but it's good you were able to wash it off. I thought about it afterward. Garden plans. And, finally, "Lo que quiero decirte Carrie, es que valoro en mucho tu presencia, tu astucia y tu carácter, por lo que he podido ver, y por lo mismo me interesa que ser un amigo sincero antes de un malestar en tu existencia.
Had to include that last one, it's so good. I'll respond luego, ¡el chiste es que no se acuerda! Ouch. Also confusing word choices for someone who doesn't remember, so I doubt the veracity of that question, a little. I wonder if it'd be foolish or corageous to say, sabes que, I was mad 'cause you kissed me. But you also said good things, and I kissed you back, and I liked it. And now I'm mad 'cause you don't remember. As of now, it seems unwise. I always feel ashamed when I am the only one who remembers details of drunken revalry, especially "meaningful" revalry. Silly. Also still mad that he left without bike light....if you can't remember a smootch, you need bike lights! Anything is possible at this point, so I'm going to just let it be for a while.