the invisible hand
i stood staring out my balcony, noting leaf by leaf, scent by scent, sight by sight....
i stood biting my lip, wondering why i've done the things i've done and why i stood there noting my surroundings.
i stood hating myself for a moment, burdened. i wanted to dissolve and disappear from the balcony so that when i looked down no one could look up and see a boy.... who is too hesitant to call himself a man.
i stood there knowing inside i'd been running in place, burdened, just observing. how long had i been just an observer, how long had it been since i'd had a say in anything, anything of my own life. it's seemed like a million outside forces have been moving me, like a pawn in devious chess game. fuck the invisible hand.
i stood there, knowing it was easier to blame the "invisible hand" than the sulky frame staring out the balcony.
i stood there and waited for answers.
i stood biting my lip, wondering why i've done the things i've done and why i stood there noting my surroundings.
i stood hating myself for a moment, burdened. i wanted to dissolve and disappear from the balcony so that when i looked down no one could look up and see a boy.... who is too hesitant to call himself a man.
i stood there knowing inside i'd been running in place, burdened, just observing. how long had i been just an observer, how long had it been since i'd had a say in anything, anything of my own life. it's seemed like a million outside forces have been moving me, like a pawn in devious chess game. fuck the invisible hand.
i stood there, knowing it was easier to blame the "invisible hand" than the sulky frame staring out the balcony.
i stood there and waited for answers.