Bad grades are like herpes
I was just remarking to my roommate the other day that bad grades are like herpes, in the world of medical school admissions. And then the analogy got out of control. Here's the result.
Iffy Grades = HSV1
OK, so the occasional W or I is really no big deal. I mean, 85% of premeds have them right? If you keep accumulating W and I grades, you need to figure out why this keeps happening and avoid the triggers. Better time management and self-care solves this one for the most part.
Bad Grades = HSV2
That D or F you got in Chemistry 15 years ago is never going to go away. It will forever tarnish your cumulative GPA, and you will have to explain it to every medical school. You'd better be able to demonstrate that you've got the situation well-managed now and reassure them that future outbreaks of this sort will not be happening. Failing to disclose this sort of thing upfront could result in a rescinded offer of acceptance.
MCAT Score Issues = HPV
There are so many different flavors of score problem, and almost everyone has experienced one of them at one point or another. A writing score of, say, N isn't great, but it's really just an unattractive warty growth. Serious imbalances between section scores might get labeled ASCUS (Abnormal SCores of Unknown Significance). A truly bad score can be expensive to fix and might even kill your app if you don't catch it in time. It is now possible to vaccinate against some of the worst kinds of MCAT score issues, but those special MCAT prep courses are pretty expensive especially if you have to pay out of pocket.
No Clinical Volunteering = Chlamydia
Some people don't think this is a problem, and sometimes people don't even know they have this problem. However, but if left untreated it can lead to really bad complications like PID (Paucity of Interview Disease). It's a really easy problem to fix, so you have no excuse for not getting it checked out and checked off.
Academic Probation/Institutional Action = Gonorrhea
Treatable, but still ugly to explain. And don't ever let it happen again.
Bad LOR = Syphilis
You might never know it's there, but it will slowly erode your brain and drive you insane when you get no acceptances despite an otherwise stellar app.
DUI or Felony = HIV
There is no good way to explain this situation.